3 Too Many

“Everybody deserves somebody who makes them look forward to tomorrow.” – Unknown

“I smile and act like nothing is wrong sometimes, it’s called dealing with shit and staying strong.” – Unknown

Welcome to Chemo day 1 round 3!  Wake up at 5:45 and don’t really get back to sleep properly, but also can’t be bothered getting up either as sore.  Drag myself up about 7:15 then and of course a mad rush ensues.  Can’t stomach even my normal cup of tea or breakfast (apart from my usual myriad of pills).  Ready to head off to work in time so all good.

Over the past couple of days, I have been starting to psych myself into Chem.  I know it sounds silly, after all it is just a matter of taking a series of pills, not hard or painful.  But it is the effects of them that you need to prepare for.  To me it just doesn’t seem right to be putting yourself through this hell for the gain involved.  I am not about to stop, but in the back of your mind the little voice is saying, you realise that the punishment you are taking is not to cure or save you.  Why do this to myself then comes to mind.  Why?  Why not? I am not ready to give into this shitty sickness yet.  I have a short enough time already to live the rest of my life in so any suffering is just the price of some more time.  Every day I am reminded by many people how much they care and are concerned, which is heartwarming and also energising for the soul.  It gives me the real strength that is behind me in this fight.  I might be mentally strong, stubborn, more physically fitter than I probably should be given where I’m at but knowing that you all have my back, means that I have to give it all I can to respect your support.  Thank you for being there and the contact from you all.

Get into work and the smiling happy faces of my colleagues greet me.  Have another good day at work then head off about 1:30.  Go and get Jacob’s birthday present on the way to the meeting at the hospital with the Chemo Doctor.

Have a good meeting with the Doctors Registrar, and hells bells as if I needed more drugs – but I have 3 new ones to take as well as the Chemo and everything else!!! I am going to really start to rattle soon.  One of the new drugs is a better anti-nausea one, but I am to have along with the ones that don’t work so hopefully I get some sort of settling down happen.

Head home via the Chemist – poor bugger wondered what hit him.  Do some sorting out of my drugs box to fit in the new ones, and setup the schedule for them on the app on my phone else I am really sure to forget them.  If you have an iPhoney and need to take meds at a set time then I would recommend Medimate which was recommended to me when all this started.

Dinner time – and yes I took one of the new pills and OMG – it works!  Manage to eat 2 beef wraps – wahoo – food! I now feel like I’m going to explode.  Time now to wait until 9:30 to take my first round of drugs, then the Chemo ones at 10:30 and bed to sleep off the lovely effects – I hope it works that way.  Anyway, things to do and books to read  – this is the worse bit, the waiting, watching the clock to take the pills.  Trust all have had a fun day/arvo/evening and have managed to stay warm where ever you are.  Till tomorrow.

Kia Kaha.