3 Too Many

“Live the life you love, and love the life you live”

Sore!  Yep yesterday has caught me up.  While my head is in a good space pretty much, my body is not quite there.  Every joint is aching and head is a bit sore too – not from too much bourbon either!  You can never have too much bourbon.  Cuppa tea and pain killers and a crumpet for breakfast – yum   The nausea seems to be on the back burner today so might have an eating small amounts day.  Need to get up and get on with the day as it will get away on us, and Dominic is coming over to visit.

Have been thinking about a discussion I had last night about hope and do I hope that there may be a miracle or that the tumours will go away.  I know and have accepted that there will be no miracle, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have hope.  I hope that there maybe a medical discovery that could change the state of play (radiation, surgical or Chemo).  When you’re first diagnosed I guess you have a small hope that they have got it wrong.  I guess what I am trying to say is that through all things you must have hope, and with that strength, but you have to remember to stay realistic about it.  I have hoped that one day I will wake up and find out this is all a bizarre dream and it has not happened.  Unfortunately it is all very real and is happening.

Dom arrives and we have a good chat about things and a catch up too.  Good to see you again Dom.  I would write more but my memory has gone awol on me – sorry. Dom leaves and we plan the rest of the day.  A visit to the hardware shop is needed to pick up some bits for around the house. Not having a good day with body aches still – everything hurting, even just moving hurts. I really wish there was a standard list of this is what you will have go wrong with you due to treatment, tumours, and other reasons so you know where it is coming from.  I really hate days like this.  I know it is a strong word, but it is the most fitting one to use!

Get back from the wee exertion and have bacon butties for lunch.  I actually manage to eat one. Crikey, that’s 2 meals today now.  On a roll!  Do a couple of chores and take it easy as tiring quickly.  Sue and the boys go to Nick and Anna’s and I stay home.  Take the opportunity to do the blogs for Friday and Saturday – happy reading! 

The family arrive home and the boys and I have a kick around with the football on the driveway, before we have dinner – well I try too, and end up giving up on eating the food and resort to trying the Vanilla Ensure liquid meal instead – yuck, but better than Chocolate one – especially when you hold your nose   Do the dishes and then start on today’s blog. 

Watch some tv and have a soak in the bath to try to ease the pains.  Starting to get my head in the right space for starting Chemo tomorrow too.  Feeling a bit p’eed off that I haven’t had the good week prior to the next round.  Probably due to the higher dose of temozolomide (Chemo drug) I had last time.  W&D time and some more reading. To all a good day or night and happy dreams.

Kia Kaha.