3 Too Many

“The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.” – Captain Jack Sparrow

Well, if you can translate last nights dribble then you’ll see that I was up until about 3am-ish trying to spit out the blog.  I apologise firstly for the dribble, and then secondly for the random way things went with the blog.  Anyhow – wake about 8:15am and feel great.  Sunny day, so it’d be a shame to waste it.  Nothing new on the pain front – it’s there, it hurts and it is going to need to be dealt with so head downstairs to load up with meds and tea.  Take a cup upstairs to Sue but seems that a sleep is a priority.  I try to sit in bed to read – can’t, try laying down – can’t. Get up as it seems the only way that the pain eases.

Head downstairs again and get a bit as it seems to ease the pain. Plan out the doses of the pain meds today as how I’m feeling now (already at about 5-6 with 6-7 spikes) I am sure will continue.  It doesn’t take long to have that proven right – walk to get the paper from the driveway and struggle to get there and back – I mean really struggle!  Manage to get back in the house – and get more meds on board and have some breakfast.   Decide then to finish building Lisa’s new laptop.

Sue gets up and gets on with the day.  A very quiet one is planned as I am in a strange place mentally – if that makes sense.  Also it is meant to turn very hot too so a great day to just cruise.  Already starting to warm up.  When I say a starnge place too – it is a not so much-ed stoned view (I could say that with the amount of pain killers I’m taking) but a fuzzy way of thinking and viewing the world.  Sue helps to keep me in check with reality and keeps life mellow – just what I need now.

Get ready eventually to face the day and decide that as it is now 30 degrees!!  Cut my hair off – and yep, nick the head several times- bugger it.  The worst but about the nicks is how much they hurt in the shower – and they bleed like bastards too!!!  Get out and manage to stop the bleeding on  the worst ones.  Mum and Flo stop by to visit  as they are in the vicinity.  Bloody melting down now.  Take more meds as can hardly move.  Tell Mum to stop telling me to sit down, as it hurts the most.  She eventually gets the idea and stops telling me too sit.

Sue and I head off to collect Lachie and Mum and Flo head off in their direction.  It was lovely to see them both.  Lachie gets back from his camp about 4pm today.  Great to see his smiling face again – he tells us all about it and sounds like he’s had an fantastic time.  Stop by the fish market to get some dinner, then home.  Quiet day continues.  I head to the coolest part of the house- the spare room and have a snooze for just over an hour.  Sue then wakes me to say that Lisa is there to collect her laptop. Get up and go over the hand over of the laptop.  Lisa and kids then head off home.  Sue gets dinner ready while I get the blog underway.  Lachie is just playing on his iPod (he’s enjoying having technology again, though this will be wound back if out of control.  Watch Pitch Perfect – very funny movie – and have movie and dinner rudely interrupted by a bloody good 4.7 shake from out Prebbleton/Rolleston way.  It made a horrendous noise before it hit, so sounded bigger.  But everything fair moved and rattled!  Just get on with things as usual as not over a 5   Get on with blog – and movie.  Movie done.  Dinner done – blog well nearly there now.  Take last meds for the night and feel woosy – so off to the crib for me.  Hopefully I’ll get a full nights sleep and be able o brag about that tomorrow  Take care, have fun, be good at being bad and don’t get caught.

Kia Kaha.

 Sorry its late – ironically fell asleep.

Simple as today – pain! That’s it. Lumbar based agony is more precise but it is not the most pleasant to have anyhow. Wake and up 3 times with it during the night. The last time I fall asleep resting on the table and hear Sue wake which starts me awake and my elbow slips of the table causing me to take fright – so long and short of it it have me a heel of a fright which made me nearly fall off my seat.  Head off to bed then no less and promptly out like the lights!  Had a crappy nights sleep all up though.

 

Wake then about 7am and up and login to work.  Grabba cup of tea, breakfast and meds.  Body is aching already   and have Nurse Maude coming today so I’m working from home.  Get ready to face the day and start to feel quite buzzy – if that makes sense.  The old body and brain want to hit Tony Hyper mode but the sensible side of me says slow it down sport – no prize for burning out!  Manage to keep myself going.  Though I do have a ‘breakdown’ on the landing.  When I say breakdown it is a pain stop.  I was walking down and then the pain hit.  I could not take another step literally.  So decide to wait it out.  This is where it gets a little weird.  Both the cat  and the dog appears and come and sit next to me – the dog very cautiously but she sits there.  I didn’t call them though which is the spooky bit.  They say they know when soemthing is wrong, but this was a little too freaky.  Get moving again, and vow to stay off the stairs until someone else is in the house with me. 

 

Finally hear again from Nurse Maude and it turns out there was some confusion about me been at a Doctors.  Anyway, the District Nurse is coming over very soon to see me.  Appointment goes well, and we go over how much pain meds I am taking – so far I have taken over double what I would have normaly.  And I still haven’t gotten on top of the pain – ggrrr!!  I’m told not to worry to much about that as I can take quite a buit more yet before it even gets risky.  So up the pain meds even further.  Nurse heads off then happy, I’m feeling very out there in the head – go figure why   Yep half off my chops on pain killers!!!

 

Sue and I head off out to do a couple of chores then back home.  Quite evening planned – blog, tv, and maybe watch a movie.  Deb and Glen come over and join in a wine  and beer, then go home to cook us all dinner – homemade F&C.  Bloody lovely.  Get home then about 10:30 call Jacob to see how he is going.  Then M&D time, and start doing blog – only to race everyone to sleep!!  Wake several times – try to finish the blog then bed.  So apologies for the lateness of it.  Really hope all have had a better day to than I, and the weekend has started brilliantly for you all.  Take care – and I will write Saturdays blog earlier!!

 

Kia Kaha.

“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.” – Unknown

Broken sleep yet again. No surprises there. But the sleep breaks are about every 2 hours. Seems the sleeping pills don’t really work today. Manage to get some sleep in between the waking times. Still not brilliant I’ll take it none the less. Bloody pain is still not letting up really bit is manageable enough – a lot o suck it up gets you through!

Wake up then at a more sane hour and up to take meds, have breakfast and have a cuppa tea. Login to work to see how the world has run overnight. All good and humming nicely. I get ready to face the day. Shave my head, and only one cut/nick so happy about that. Still haven’t heard from Nurse Maude so plan to head into work. Sue is starting later so it works out well. Feeling quiet good really.

Get into the office. Fantastic to see everyone again. Nice to be back in the building. We have a great catch up, lots of laughs and just a bloody great time. Thanks guys – it has really made my day and week. Guess I’ll be having more of these soon too. Only another 2 1/2 weeks before the boys are back at school and normality of sorts returns. Sue comes and joins us for lunch before heading back to work. I last another hour and a bit before heading off about 3pm. Bloody pain is cutting through me at random levels and types. I’m fine at times but then at other I am at other almost immobilised completely.

Stop by the chemist on the way to sort out the mess with my scripts. A bit of to and fro to the Doctors next door and all sorted out. Get my new meds and hit the road for home. In bloody agony now so will be trialling out the new ones really soon I guess. Wow – nothing like a pain killer going straight to your head to make things seem different! Honestly – I feel quite woozy but OK.  Pain eases – yay!!! I’m ready to face more of the day again now as it was really starting to get away on me. Guess candle burning at both ends is the best way to sum it up. We are out for dinner with Roh and Andy tonight so need to be able to recover some energy.

Bloody weather closes in – raiun turns to hail for a bit and temp plunges. Turning like a winter’s evening rather than mid-summer outside. Go round to collect Roh and Andy, then head to restaurant. Have a wonderful evening out and the most awesome Thai Curries. Head of then to R and A ‘s place for coffees (you’re becoming the best Barsita in town Andy – keep it up!  Then head home as I am on the verge of falling apart – tremors going a lot and just not feeling right in the heas – hey no comments there  Thanks for the lovely evening guys. Really enjoyed it.

Home to do the blog, M&D time and try to warm up. Shit its cold. Put on the electric blanket as it might also help me sleep tonight (and cause I’m soft in my old age now) and also to ease the pains. Bloody pain is starting to grapple over my body and head now feel I am lining up for a real crash – but this time I am armed at least to the teeth with ways to deal with it. The only thing is the mental fight will be harder and tougher and to be briefly honest I need a quiet day to get my head into gear to take it on. Oh well, we will see how much fight I can muster if I really need too. I really hope that all have had a great Thursday and are ready to get Friday done and the weekend underway. Take care all and be safe, but most of all enjoy – as you just don’t know what could change.

Kia Kaha.

“Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” – Unknown

 Gave in and took a bloody sleeping pill last night – good and bad idea!!  Good in that yes I did get to sleep, bad in that I spend all today feeling flat, terrible and emotiionally beaten down.  I woke several times with pain (guess even sleeping pills can’t trump pain).  end up getting up about 4 times and the longest was for about 2 hours.  When I went to bed for the last time about 4:30am and manage to stay asleep until about 9am – no recollection of much before then either.  Wake to find Jacob playing Play Station and Sue has long gone to work.

I head downstairs and make a cuppa tea and breakfast and check in on work.  Jacob comes down to entertain me while I eat and work.  We have a great morning together – lots of laughs to the point of almost tears.  Glad to see he is of the same madness mould as his old man   Get ready for the day – though as mentioned, it is bloody slow going.  The world is in slow motion bigtime.  Thankfully the pain seems to be at bay so can function in someway.  Keep on with some work, and try to fight through these feelings.  On a real downer at the moment, but I’ll bounce back.  Have lunch and Sue gets home.  Have a discussion about things as Nurse Maude have called and approved some of the new pain management plan, and also have a sleep plan to maybe try.  They are also going to be visiting me on Thursday now so have to wait for the times, so will be spending the day waiting to see them rather than in at work.  The pain is back with a real vengance – bloody bastards.  I can’t even walk to the letterbox without having to stop

Head off to the airport then to drop Jacob off.  He is playing young man today on his first ever solo flight and flying off as a YP (young person, not unacompanied minor) AirNZ.  He is so excited that he is  driving us insane!!  The check in guy with AirNZ is brilliant with him, making him feel special and treating him as a young man.  Jacob laps up the attention and the moment.  The most nervous moment is when he clears security and is trying to find his gate.  He finds his way, gets on the plane, and texts that he is all sorted and happy.

Get home and Deb and Glen come over for  a drink and a chat.  Jacob arrives in Auckland and lets us know.  He’s as happy as a rat in a flour sack.  Cook dinner and then head out for a walk around the block – 3.6km.  Manage to do it between pain waves thankfully.  It wasn’t high speed but I did it!!  Home then to write the blog and watch some TV.  Struggle to stay awake – going to only take a half sleeping tablet tonight so see what that does to me.  Hopefully – sleep, not drawn hangover feeling broken dozing.  Trust all have had a great day and lots of fun.  Take care with everything everyone.  Sorry it’s short and sweet today but I am to tired and sore to be able to really write anything sensible or non-sensible depending on how you want it.  So M&D time and bed.

Kia Kaha.

“Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.”  – Unknown

 If there is one really, really, shitty thing (other than the obvious) from all this Cancer crap, it has to be the pain! Well mainly body pain that should be.  No warnings it is just on or off basically. And it does it at the most inconvenient time.  Like when you’re sleeping, or walking or any bloody time. So last night is dedicated to the pain monster visiting at random, ya bastard! Woke several times then get up to deal to it in the end. Then just as I  am about to head back to bed the Acid tum comes to life and takes me down. After many meds and an hour later on I head back to bed and some more broken rest. The night feels so bloody long today.

“Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.” – Ruth Ann Schabacker

Sleep – yep – bits of it did happen but not an overwhelming amount of it or what there was, quality was lacking.  Consequently I am now fighting the fatigue monster head on and would rate it about 50/50 on the stakes of who is winning.  I just feel so, out of sorts and not right, it is like I am someone else trapped inside this blobby steroid inflated body!!  Yes – thin gs are starting to get to me a bit, in case you can’t quite tell that.  Lots of strong nasty words get muttered around the house usually in the early hours.  Last nights annexes were caused by pain.  Bloody body is the flavour of the waking time today.  Just gutting really, as things fine, doze off, then wham, awake, sit and see if it is going to subside on it’s own or will need some meds to help it along.  Meant to mention that with Jacob the other night sleeping in my bed he got an insight as to how bad a night sleep can be with pain, night terrors, anxiety, etc.  He was talking to me this morning about it and was it normal.  Thold him that really the only place for it to be normal might be in our house, as I wouldn’t wish for it on anyone.

Eventually wake then about 7am to Dad calling – bloody hell Father!!  Why so early??  Anyhow, go and make breakfast, meds, tea, etc, and read the paper.  Much cooler day today – thank goodness.  It is going to be pleasing to be able to function without feeling yuck all day.  Login to work and catch up with the happenings – nothing really   Lachie says his goodbyes as he is heading away on a camp at Peel Forest for the week.  See ya Buddy – he leaves with a smile on his dial, which is great to see, and encouraging.  I get ready to face the day then.  Contemplate cutting my hair but decide that with how I am feeling that it my be a more dangerous task than dancing in a lightening storm with an umbrella!!  The wheels on this person are definitely very, very wobbly already today and I am struggling to maintain any go forward.  What the bloody hell is it with this?  It is something new and just sneaks in slowly then pounces!!  I will feel and be moving great and buzzing along then within almost seconds, I can hardly move as I have no energy, and speech goes slurred, tremors start badly and I can at times literally drop where I am standing.  So spend the morning fighting through that.  It would be OK if it came and went but it is like a rot that sets in and eats at you until it wins.

Get a call from the Chemist saying that the new emergency script that they have come up for dealing with me is there now.  So Jacob and I plan a bike trip to go and collect it, also I am hoping that the fresh air might be enough to put the fatigue to the side for a bit.  Run into Nicky Dravitzki there – Domonic’s wife.  Good to see you Nicky – didn’t realise that you worked for Nurse Maude – small world!  Totally enjoyed the ride there and back.  As did Jacob – my guide!  He is telling me to cross here, do this, do that, – seems to have forgotten that I used to drive so do know the road rules better than he does!  He has been at it again cleaning today too and washed all the downstairs windows this time and polished the glass in the lounge and dining rooms.  Payment for today is Subway – his choice.  But he knows he is not to expect something every time he does things like this.,  But he is happy and said I know – I am just wanting to do something and if it helps us all out then it is better.  We get back home in one piece and enjoy our lunch.  Keep working and fighting the fatigue monster.  Sue gets home and is most impressed with Jacob’s work.

Manage to sort out a few more things with work, and have to eventually stop and give in to the fatigue as the fingers are starting to do some really dumb things randomly!!!  Like delete things, add random letters/characters, etc.  So rest time is called.  Have an hours nap, and feel so much better for it.  Heading out for tea to Speights Ale House tonight with the Poms so get ourselves ready for that then hit the road, about 6:45.  Have a lovely evening out – balancing energy like a pro   Amazing how an hours rest can be enough to make you feel a million bucks again.  I was going to say something yesterday about how 4 people asked me about my seizures/fatigue/ coping – all along a similar vein, and also how they had differently but similarly noted changes in me.  And here I was thinking that I was doing a great job hiding behind my masks of normality   Seriously though – yep as I have said, everyday I am changing a little bit – be it how I feel, act, behave, etc.  The pattern over the past 2-3 weeks has been physically I am feeling different.  Though I have been thinking about this a lot lately – I would attribute the steroids to a lot of what is going on, as they increase you’re weight – esp. around your face, and upper body.  My energy levels are now almost at big fat zero!!  Mainly all the time – which for me is frightening really as I used to have 2 states – just to piss everyone off – full on, or near dead stop!  Now I have near dead stop.  I swear if the house was any bigger then i would buy a mobility scooter just to get around it ;-).  But seriously, I feel most days like I’ve been in a punch up with someone – which is fine as you know you’re alive then, but just the nagging soreness of what is getting to you.  But my mental state is running at times close to the wind and I’m not certain whether its my imagination or if it is actually the reality of the situation.  Oh, well I”ll just have another spray of my magic mist

Get home from an awesome dinner outing not to late – do blog, watch some TV and bed time for a bit.  The good byes to the Poms is very sad and hits me harder than I expected – travel well all.  I really hope you have safe journeys home.  Enjoy Singapore too.  Bloody hurting a bit already, so might be a earlier waking than normal   Hope all have had a great day/arvo/evening full of Monday fun and frolics  Also meant to mention there is a setting in Internet Explorer which seems to keep the web-page refreshed.  In Internet Explorer go to Tools >> Internet Options >> Browsing >> Settings >> Now select the top option (Every time I visit the web-page) under where it says Check for newer versions of stored pages:  This seems to work for most people so hopefully it will help others.  If not then I will see if there are other settings too for other browsers.  Right enough geek for the day. Take care.

Kia Kaha.

“If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance.” – Andrea Boydston

 Finally went to sleep properly about 3:15am, after dozing off several times.  Too bloody hot to sleep anyway, and just manage to get the blog sorted – sorry it was so late!  Jacob crawls into bed next to me about 4am – again to bloody hot for extras!  Ahh – still he stays as far as possible from me so all good.  Manage to sleep then until 9am.  Wake to find everyone else awake and up.

Get up, meds, toast, tea. Then decide what I’ve got/want to get done today.  Another hot day – already 27 degrees.  But it is an odd heat today – not just sun baked.  Jacob makes a start, unprompted, on moving the bark from under the old tramp area to by the woodshed – he is a good lad.  Dad turns up then to take away the last spare bookcases.  Thanks Dad.  Aubery turns up then as Dad is leaving to do some more measurements for the deck.  He stays for a cup of coffee and a chat too.  He then heads off and I set about helping Jacob.  Get some petrol and mow the lawns and generally keep busy around the outside of the house.  Jacob finishes moving the bark – what an awesome job.  He then heads next door to mow Deb and Glen’s lawn for them before they get back later today.  The Travellers (rellies from England that are here at the moment) have arrived in Christchurch (they’ve been travelling around the South Island) and stop by for a visit.  Happy to show them the house.  They head off for their Motel.  We are meeting at Pam and Karl’s for the dinner so will see them again soon.

Get cleaned up as feeling very yuck.  Hit the road then to Pam and Karl’s.  Feeling pretty good still, though tiring a bit.  Head has been a bit foggy too today and makes it hard to make sense of somethings as you tend to feel that you over analyse some situations and read to much into it.  This is where the spray comes in.  But even today it seems that it is not quite working the normal way of making me mellow and even – bugger.  It is allowed a day off though.  With my head in a space like this it is not surprising though.

Have a wonderful evening and manage to not fall asleep.  Very good company and food.  So a nice evening all up.  Head home about 8:30.  Boys to bed, I do the blog, and Sue surfs the web.  Still very hot  so not going to be a comfortable night.  Hope that all have had a brilliant day and evening, and are refreshed ready for the week ahead.  Take care, have fun, and keep smiling all.

Kia Kaha.

“Don’t trust people whose feelings change with time.  Trust people whose feelings remain the same, even when the time changes.” – Unknown

Feeling great for having a semi-decent sleep.  Missed about 2 hours all up to pain, and just odd waking pattern.  Managed several times to just snuggle back down to sleep during the night but got up about 2:30am as too sore, took meds then dozed on & off a bit till about 5am and headed back to bed. Woke again with pain about 6:45 and was feeling great and awake so up and into the day – well meds, cup of tea and a piece of toast.  What an awesome morning!!  Not to hot – hardly a noise from the city, just restful.  So read the paper for an hour – something really novel there!  Then go and get ready for the day.  Manage to cut my hair with out any slice or dicing going on so really happy about that.  In fact there is not a single nick in the flesh – so that’s a first.

Dad is coming over to collect a couple of old bookcases to take to the recycling centre for us, so get them out of the garage in case he turns up when we are out.  We are meant to be heading to Little Akaloa today to meet up with Roh, Andy and the girls and Tony, Jo and Amy as they are taking the boat out and spending the day there.  I dig out the fishing rods to throw off the wharf there too.  But it is strictly on the basis of how everyone in the Edmonds House is feeling as there is a minor bug it seems going around and also Sue’s back is that sore again (not sure how they can fix a possible fracture really without surgery – but we will cross that once a specialist has seen her.  Just seems to come right then, bang back to almost the start again.  So if you want to stay fit and well stay away from this house

Everyone up and functioning by about 10am so are planning still on heading over there even though all others left between 6:30am and 9:30 – its about a 1 1/4 hour drive there so want to hit tyhe road before it gets far to hot – already it’s 25 degrees and warming by the minute it seems!  In for a scorcher again.  Decide that by 11:15 we haven’t hit the road yet so aren’t going to go – causing a major meltdown by Jacob and stress increases all round.  Decision is reassessed and last second call to just go over and take it as we do when we arrive – but at least have a swim and a fish maybe.  So happy kids again.

Very hot, sticky drive over the hill grabbing lunch along the way and eat in the car, with tourists crawling along the roads – doesn’t make for fun for anyone.  Still not complaining really as out of the house and doing something.  Arrive there about 1:15 – finally.  Not to busy which is great.  Find the others, and Andy and Tony are just heading off to get the boat and take the kids out on the biscuit.  Pleasing to feel it is a bit cooler over the there too.  I don’t go out on the boat as not feeling the best at all, so not going to risk it.

After a couple of hours boating they call it quits and we get the fishing rods out to head to the wharf for a fish.  Have a good couple of hours feeding the fish as nothing really biting that would be worth keeping.  But have a great time having a fat chat with the Tony and Andy.  The kids get bored and head off back to the beach to go for a swim.  We eventually have enough of getting eaten by sand-flies so head back to camp too.  Sort out rods and tidy up the boot of the car then sit down and have something to eat and a cold drink.  Kids give up swimming apart from the water babies – Lachie and Kate.  Call them in and load up the cars to head home.  Decide to meet up at Roh and Andy’s as they have to wash the boat down still, and as it is such a brilliant evening seems a shame to waste it.  But all agree that it has been one of those summers days from when we were kids – no technology (as Little Akaloa has no cell coverage and iPods were locked away for the day), just swam, fished, and ate and share laughs, stories, etc on a wonderful summers day.  One of those emotional moments I told the boys later for me as some memories like this are getting vague at times, so was nice to tell them about how much I used to enjoy days like this and had always wanted to share them with my own kids.  I think they understood ;-}

Get home – I slept most of the way – and feed the kids quickly, then animals even quicker, then hit the road by foot to Roh and Andy’s. Manage to get about half a glass of soft drink down before I go out to it like a light – this of all things now is the real bastard of an interfernce in life that I hate the most.  I feel so embarassed when it happens, and lousy as to how it may make others feel.  Jo wakes me up as I need to take meds at 10pm and they are late already – bugger.  She also makes me a sweet tea to drink to help kick start me.  Sue gets my meds into me.  Sorry about going out to it folks – honestly I can’t help it and really wish that I could.  Thanks for the offer to drive me home to Jo – but the walk was perfect thanks.  Thanks not too for the marzepan candy cane Roh – yuck, yuck, yuck!!  On so many levels!!!!

Get home and get the boys settled – Sue and Lachie decide to sleep downstairs at it must be over 30 degrees upstairs still – so they get settled.  Jacob and I have some honey toast then he gets settled too.  I sit down to do the blog.  Man it is sticky hot!  Slow going as keep drifting off – sorry folks.  Hope all have had a brilliantly, enjoyable Saturday and made lots of fun and lasting memories.  Take care all.

Kia Kaha.

“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.” – Stephen Vincent Benét

Well talk about interesting sleeps – or lack of then to much.  The usual pattern last night with sleep, to bed, then up again about 3am.  This time in pain (body and head) so deal to that the best I can.  Sit in the lounge chair and manage to get comfortable enough to be able to doze off to sleep again. Wake again then about 4am and have pain still so make a Milo and sit down to look at Tyler’s laptop for a bit as it is mainly body pain now.  So plod on with that for a while.  Give up and head back to the chair for another 30mins or so sleep of sorts.  Wake and head upstairs then to bed as it is 6:30 now.  Instantly go out like a light.

Next thing I know I wake feeling rather odd, and expect to see it is about 9am – not 12:15!!! Sue left me to sleep as I was out cold when she left for work, and knowing I had already had a bad night thought, quite rightly that rest was probably the better thing for me.  To say it put me in a tail spin is a bit of an understatement!  I had meds to catch up on, not eaten, not told work that I was not going well today, and Nurse Maude turning up in 30 mins or so!  So a spray of the magic mist (like that name) and I’ve settled.  Find out that Sue has checked in on things.  Get meds on board and then get thru the shower quickly.  Feeling a little less fractious now.  The boys are enjoying the day outside and have waited until I get up before getting in the pool.  They are soon in there and acting like a couple of performing seals!  Sue arrives just before the Nurse Maude Doctor does.  Have a good meeting with the doctor and have a new plan set ready for my next meltdown.  The Doc heads off on her way, and we hit the road to the chemist to drop off the scripts.  Drop in to Doc, Trudy’s and Logan’s in Halswell while we are out to talk about school uniforms – yep the next big bill after Xmas!!  Doesn’t bloody stop!  Head home quickly as I break down in pain at their house and need to get home.  Sorry guys – I hate it when I just get belted with the 4×2 from nowhere cause these Mofo’s just can do it to me.  It’s not fair.  Back home then.  Have a sit down for a spell as not feeling the best at all :-(t

I was intending to login to work and try to get somethings done, but in reality I think today is going to be a complete write off.  I am developing very wobbly wheels, and having lots of tremors.  The pain is still there – from just below the ribs down to my feet.  There is no reason for why I get it, even the doc’s are a bit stumped, but they think that it maybe just from where a tumour maybe pushing that causes it.  Bloody random eh! What a hot day – only 27 today but feels far hotter than that.  Back up and try to keep ticking on.  Have another crack at work, but slow going again.  Dave Withers stops by then for a quick visit.  Good to see you Dave.  Have a chat and catch up then Dave heads off again.  Time for another sit down then as bloody shattered now   What is going on with me??  For so much rest I’m going down hill a huge amount quickly.

F&C for tea, then do the blog, which takes a huge effort. Sue drops Tylers laptop back to him, then home to relax.  Watch some TV for a bit then head ot bed as falling apart now just sitting still – could be a fun weekend – NOT! I hope I have no fun things like last night when I went to take my good meds.  See , we had picked up the repeat yesterday Arvo, and brought it home.  Then last night at 10:30 I couldn’t find them.  Tried to retrace my-steps, and all that stuff.  Went through 2 bags of rubbish piece by piece, checked everywhere I could possibly think of, then in a blinding moment opened the freezer (as you do) and there in front of me by the Belvedere Vodka were the missing drugs.  Don’t as why they were there or anything.  They just were OK!  Thought I’d share my stupidity moment with you.  Hope all have had a more controlled and fun day/arvo/evening.  Take care, stay safe.

Kia Kaha.

“Some people develop a wishbone where their back bone should be.” – Anonymous

 So you had some insight to what 3:30am holds for me?  Shitty place, eh?  Fell asleep in a chair in the lounge and th cat woke me at about 5:30 I think basically telling me to head to bed.  I duely did, still over heating as it was in the mid twenties then still.  Then I was awake again by 6am in pain in my head – bloody Mofo’s!!  Broken sleep galore, but then really I doubt that anyone got a chance to get a good sleep with the heat last night in Canterbury, the rain in Southland and the wind in other places.  Well maybe the North Island and other countries escaped the weathers escapades. 

Wake to heavy rain then about 7:15am but still very warm.  Get up and get more meds into me, cuppa tea and login to work.  Get ready to face the day early today and then have breakfast, and settle into work.  Lachie is awake and playing on his iPod in bed and Jacob is away with the Sandman still – don’t blame him.  Wish I could still sleep like that.  Get on with some work and finishing what I was doing yesterday.  Feeling surprisingly good really for lack of sleep, pain in my head and mentally not in a good place.  Not so much on edge just need order today – strick order, if I am to be able to cope.  Set out a plan to get the boys to the movies at Riccarton so they’re out of my long flowing locks – hahaha – hair joke there in case you missed it   They head off to watch Parental Guidance, and then get home to tell me that the best bits are in the Ads –  so thanks Dad for the waste of our time – grumble, grumble – I didn’t choose the movie – I just sent them!  Sue gets home and we head to the Warehouse to get some cleaning things for the pool, and stop by the chemist to get more meds that I am waiting on.  Get home then to discover a dinner parcel on the doorstep – thanks Wendy, and Nutty and Tyler stop by.  I take a look at Tyler’s new laptop which has developed a small issue with the Audio drivers – so sort that out for him.  Sue heads off on a walk she had arranged with Wendy.  Nutty and Tyler take off too, and I get on with work.  The boys get on with fighting and arguing. 

Discover that Christchurch has now taken on the similarities of our Aussie neighbours and have fires springing up arround the city – some near where friends live, so are taking a close watch of these.  Also Beckenham School which is about 4kms away was set on fire this morning, so there are some idiots out there lighting these fires when things are like a tinder box.  Next the usual fools will set the hills alight as used to be a standard act when I was growing up, for people to do – burn the Port Hills off when it was hot Nor’west and dry as hell.  Some people just don’t really get it do they.  But having a rip snorter Summer here this year in Christchurch.

Have a quiet evening – managed my energy a lot better today, but my head is hurting something undesirable, and I need to get on to that before anything else today or it will ruin even tomorrow.  The way I felt about 6am this morning with pain had me really worried that I was in for another Saturday event as the pain kicked in, as normal, but kicked in really, really hard – with excruciating pain instantly.  Fortunately it died down and I won control back, but bugger me if I can do this everytime I have pain like this, though if I have to, I will – I know, I’m all talk!!  But priority tonight is preparing my enregency meds pack that are to be taken in a strict order  to quell the pain, and get me on my feet again, and not allow me to vomit.  Then on to the blog and maybe – just maybe if I’m still awake, watch some TV.  It won’t be a late night though by any means, as have to look fresh and keen as for the NM doctor tomorrow.  Hope all have had a great day/arvo/evening and an enjoyable day.  Take care and “keep cool til after school.”

Kia Kaha.