3 Too Many

“I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.” – Unknown

 Welcome back, sorry about the break for a couple of days, but the health has being down for a few days and fatigue and tiredness has had me fairly much stuffed.  I will dribble on and explain it all for you.  First up the sleep pattern is still crappy as ever. If I’m lucky I get an average of 3 hours per night.  The good news is Nurse Maude have got me a lazy boy chair to rest/sleep in seen as the pain the in body has now got to the point where it is waking me constantly and keeping me awake for several hours at night.  Between that and the bloody head pain, oh and the new pain in my life – the cellulitis in my left foot/ankle, and the broken finger.  Yep – in the wars at the moment.

Usual morning meds, and habits too – nothing new there.  In the past 3 days I have had 4 medical appointments to attend too, so spending more time dealing with my health too these days.  Dealing with more drugs too, with anti-biotics for treating the cellulitis, and nausea not helping to make things easier either.  I have a morning measure for how the day will be pain wise by walking up the driveway to get the paper.  If I can make ‘it to the paper and most of the way back to the house then I’m doing OK and will have a good day.  If I can just make the paper then in for an average day.  If I can’t make the paper then in for a crap day full stop.

Cellulitis – the new bloody invader in my life!! (see the pics) – we are not sure ;how I came to get it, but possibly due to my heels cracking in allowing an infection in.  It took a bad turn this morning when I simply tapped my ankle on the corner of the computer and tore a hole in my skin, leading to blood spilling everywhere   Due to the pressure build up under the skin blood and fluid just flow out – disgusting!! Sorry had to share.  Get an IV line put in for treatment so that takes up the morning – though they muck up the line in and instead of going into the vein it loads into the muscle so I end up with 500ml of fluid pumping into my arm – ouch.  It takes most of the day to dissolve.  So I look like a real train wreck with bandages on my right arm (IV line), right hand (broken finger), left foot – cellulitis, and of course the cancer.  Had a meeting today too with the Neurosuregon which goes really well.  Get some answers as to what is going on.  Joh is over here visiting at the moment so she does a lot of the running around of me thankfully.  And is also taking care of the boys for us. 

So fairly much folks that is what is consuming my time at the moment.  The health has been taking a knock in the past  few days and I’ve been out of sorts as such, but managing the best I can. Hope all have been well and hanging in there too. Take care and stay focuesed.  I will try to stay up to date with the blog too.

Kia Kaha.

“When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn” – Unknown

 Blog will be later tonight or even tomorrow as I am shattered and going to head for bed soon.  I have a raging infection as well in my left ankle, so that is taking it out of me too.

Later. Kia kaha.

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.” – Albert Einstein

Well I guess the example I set on Thursday probably influenced the boys not to try tricks on wheeled objects when you’re getting older in years as the mind may be willing but the bones can’t take the knocks the same as they used too.  Crap sleep again! Well not a totally crap one, as only got up twice, the first time due to body, back & hand pain.  That took about an hour or so to get on top of.  The second time was with my head about 6:20am.  That one was just strange as I was woken with a sharp pain in my head, but when I sat up it suddenly felt like a vice had clampped on to it and then the pain really kicked in from about a 3-4 to an instant 7-8!!  Hell it hurt!! 

Head downstairs – well a wobbly stagger in reality.  Load up with all I can as it is getting worse not better – crap!  Give it about 45 mins before having a repeat dose. That seems to do the trick and numbs the head pain but the back seems to have now gone into a league of its own.  It gives a lovely demo of it’s power over me by hurting instantly walking down the hallway downstairs – no warning just pain on – stop now – hurt now!  I can’t even crawl along as it hurts more to try to get down on all 4’s!  Just freeze and suck it up as in most cases now it will pass in about 5 mins or so.  Still it hurts more for that time, than the broken finger doees, if that gives a comparision for you.

Everyone is having a sleep in so I get on with catching up the blogs and trying to turn out something logical, which is hard with a bloody splint getting in the way all the time. Must get the trial of the speech to text software as that would be really helpful.  Have some breakfast and more meds while reading the paper. It is a nice quiet morning and starting to warm up nicely.  Don’t want it to hot today, espec ially this arvo as will be sitting in the sun for several hours at Nitro Circus.  It starts at 4:30 and goes for about 3 1/2 hours apparently, so should be a good show.  Sue and the boys start slowly appearing downstairs.  Sue heads off on a walk with Wendy and the dogs.  The boys and I just cruise at home.  Sue gets home and arranges to get the tramp from Deb and Glen since our one died.  Head over next door to collect it.  The boys have a test bounce and decide where it will be located.

Jacob cooks us lunch. Very nice.  Then we all get ready too head off.  The boys are both really excited, which is great to see.  Have a fab time.  Those guys are completely nuts (though I bet none of them can manual and dismount like I did last Thursday on the scooter).  Best bit is I’ve picked up a few ideas for my next stunt round on the scooter   Stop by the Knudsen’s on the way home to say Hi, etc. Sorry for nodding off .  Head home, have tea and get the boys in bed.  Do the blog, and watch some TV.  Feeling absolutely stuffed now, so M&D time and bed.  Trust all have had a brlliant day, and weekend.  Take care.

Kia Kaha.

“Don’t follow me, I walk into walls.” – Unknown

Sleep, who needs sleep?  In all seriousness between Fri evening and Saturday breakfast I had about 2 1/2 hours sleep due to pain and discomfort.  Back pain went from almost zero on Friday (a time to celebrate as it meant feeling almost normal again briefly), and also not slugging back pain killers and numerous other drugs to keep functioning.  By Saturday night I was exhausted to the max , but happy as it was due to having a fantastic weekend so far.

Saturday started about 5:30am for me, as couldn’t sleep anymore.  Up and try to do the blog from Friday but the hand is to sore to be able to use the keyboard or mouse.  So shuffle off to get the paper.  Breakdown half way down the driveway.  Give it a min or so then manage to keep going slowly but surely.  Mission accomplished – inside to make a cuppa tea to reward myself   have some breakfast and a read of the paper.  Manage to catch my finger for the first time today (the end of the splint is overhanging by about 1cm from the end of my pinky finger).  Do the pained man jig (the dance around that you tend to do when you hurt  a body part.  Sue gets up and we run through the plan of the day – in other words anything that we want need to get done.  Sue bags and tapes up my hand, and I hit the shower.  Not brave enough to cut my hair though, so it’ll wait till tomorrow.

Dressed and get on with some 1 handed chores.  The boys have finally dragged themselves from the beds, and are give their instructions for the day.  We load the broken trampoline steel into the Ute and Sue and Lachie take it off to the scrap metal dealer.  They return a little later on – Lachie got a wee bit of pocket money for his effort but it is better recycled than dumped.  Leroy is here, as he has stopped by on his way back to Nelson after spending 3 weeks working in Dunedin.  Great to see you man.  Say Hi to all your lovely family.  Have a very quite, lazy day from here in, as can’t do much with the paw in a sling.  Have a laydown for 20 mins while Sue goes to have coffee with a friend in Halswell – Sue wakes me about 2 hours later.  Feeling really good for the rest though.  Have dinner then, do the Friday blog – which is a major effort with my hand bound up, so investigating other options of how to do it.  The sit down to watch a movie – Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.  Very funny movie, would recommend it.  M&D time and bed then.

Hope all have had a fun Saturday, and enjoyed every bit of it.  Take care.  I will try to get a start early on Sunday’s blog seen as this how long it takes now to get something typed.  And also we are off to Nitro Circus tonight too, so the inner bogan is trying to come out.  I will sort the pics out now too, seen as folk have asked for some.

Old plaster cast which was wrong for a spiral break like mine.

Broken Pinky – day 2

Kia Kaha.

” The remarkable thing we have is a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” – Charles Swindoll

“I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes“

Well the sponsor of today’s blog is …. the 24 Surgery in Bealey Ave with a suspected broken finger. Yep thanks to scooter antics (and Dad trying to show the young ones he can still roll with them) on Jacobs scooter and the encouragement of 2 lads, Dad decided to pull stunt like they did and came a classy cropper. Now I’m waiting to see if the dislocated pinky on the right hand actually got broken as well. See we were out for a walk around the block to help settle dinner and to see if I can get rid of this bloody Hobbits foot that I’ve developed on my left foot. Over the past week my left foot has blown up so it looks like one of the hobbits ones. Even the doc the other day was fascinated by it and can’t explain why it its like it. So just another mystery along with me. But the buggered pinky is all my fault. Stupid act by me but still had to show the lads the old man can still do it and also that I can suck up pain still. Guess I’ll now have a reason to be awake tonight. Esp after a half hearted writer last night with a sleeping pill on board.

Woke several times during the night before finally getting settled about 6am and wake at 8:30 and asked sue why she was all dressed up – she then told me it was Thursday. I was thinking it was Saturday – doh!! Sue leaves and I get on with the day. Meds, tea and breakfast. Then login to work. Get ready for the day then and manage to, for the second time in a week cut my hair without cutting myself apart. The boys get up and dressed as they are intending on having another lazy day playing on their iPods. I have other plans for them. Still they are out of my way.

Dad arrives and has a coffee – more a check up in that anything – to make sure I’m ok. Sue then gets home and we head off to get the rest of the boys uniform for school. and a few other bits, but basically they are ready to hit their first day! Home for dinner then head out for a walk at my insistence. The rest of course takes you in a loop back to the start. A dislocated pinky – man I forgot how much they hurt to rest – probably having a spiral fracture didn’t help either with the pain level. Still good to show the boys how he harden up princess line can apply ( I secretly went and cried in the loo later – yeah right). Get home from walk about 40 mins later and clean up the injury and do another assessment of it and decide that it needs to be looked at properly so Sue arranges for Roh to come and look after the boys while we head into the after hours clinic. Take the tablet so I can start doing the blog. Manage to get some done, but they are really quick there and home sporting a new cast on my right hand, within 2 hours. Had a laugh when they offered me pain relief – I asked what they were proposing – Panadol or Panadine? Then told them about me – they said keep up your meds and you’ll know what you’re doing – nice!

Get home and Roh heads off – thanks so much Roh. Have a M&D time and then take my sorry ass to bed As I’ve said not sure what sort of sleep I’m in for esp. now I’m sporting a hand cast. I have a spiral frature of my third metacarpal on my pinky. Still funny thing is it doesn’t hurt still as much as my back does most days, if that is some way of comparing things, for those that have had broken bones. Any how – hope all have had an awesome day and were more successful at making memories than mine!!

Kia Kaha.

“The road to success is always under construction. – Lilly Thomlins

We will summarise the usual to save time, as I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.  Head – woke with it hurting about a 4-5 in waves. Body pain hurting about a 3-4.  Sleep, had about 5 hours very broken before waking about 7am.  So feeling out of sorts if you like to start the day.  Must be the pain killers as I was having some, very strange dreams.

Up about 7am, what a fantastic morning.  These sort of mornings are what make all the suffering that wake it worth while, when you get to experience the wonder of Mother Nature.  Meds down, cuppa tea, and a piece of toast and a liquid drink.  Nausea is not as bad as yesterday but still is present.  Login to check on work, then get ready to face the day.  Boys are having sa lazy day and both sleep in.  Its good as I can get on with work un-interrupted.  They eventually stir about 9:45 and get up and have a lazy morning. The day is warming up quickly and is definitely going to be a scorcher again.  Round the boys up for lunch, though they are been unhelpful toads.  GGrrr,  am feeling really fatigued, and keep dropping off.  Not sure if they are siezures or just fatigue so will be taking more note of these a I think.  Ask the boys why they are not in the pool – got told assertively by Jacob, that they aren’t swimming as it could be considered child abuse making them go out in the heat and play!  I know he’s joking, but he is probably dead right.  Though the pool is still in the shade of the house, so he’s not quite right.

Sue gets home after getting a haircut.  And Roh comes over for a visit and a catch up.  I manage to keep going for a bit more then head for a half hour lay down.  I wake nearly 2 hours later.  I feel better for the lay-down , but still not brilliant, and the dropping off is still there.  Help make dinner then do dishes, then sit down to blog.  Jo K turns up for a up of coffee  and a catch up.  Great visit Jo. Near ly there.  So it’ll be an earlish night for you readers.  Hope all have had a great day, and have got over hump day – down hill run to the weekend now – wahoo!!  Take care.

Kia Kaha.

“Whoever said winning isn’t everything, never had to fight cancer.” ~ Unknown.

Its going to be short and sweet today folks as having a rough day.  Have had a very broken sleep, head not in a good place emotionally or mentally, and basically they have tripled my High strenghht pain meds (both the long lasting ones and the short term ones) so zonked out on those too.  Between the usual pain, messed up head and other normal crap that makes a night’s sleep I think I managed about 2-3 hours rest.

Up at 6:30am and into the meds quicker than a pig into a trough of muck.  Login to work, yada, yada – you know the routine.  Nothing stand out that it is about to fall apart big time.  Go get the paper in and think about breakfast and a cuppa tea.  Get as far as the cuppa tea, but nausea is discoraging the food thoughts.  Get ready to face the day.  Sue heads off to work and Lachie sleeps in – well as long as I let him   Get on with the day – the best I can, but with the new med levels, I am struggling a bit to say the least.  Have one of my liquid meals for breakfast.

For those that didn’t catch the note added to last nights blog about the appointment yesterday and what it means.  Well, a quick run down of what it means but we won’t know until after the next MRI in the next 4 weeks or so – but possibly 3 too many has become 4 too many – meaning another tumour has grown. Other options are, one or all of the exisiting tumours have started growing again.  One or the tumours has chnaged shape and is now growing into more good tissue.  But bascally until the MRI we will not be able to answer a lot in the way of questions, but this is just another one of those roads taking a turn in this journey of mine/ours.

Struggle a long a bit more, and keep Lachie moving as he is heading off to the Adreniline Forest with the Thompsons today.  It is a really, really hard day today, but getting there.  Craig and Karen and arrive, and all head off.  I keep going with work, and have another liquid meal for lunch as the Nausea is getting quite bad.  The balance is also starting to get dodgy, so I stay away from going upstairs for safety sake as home alone. 

Ihave a laydown for about an hour as fading.  Sue gets home with my latest bag full of meds – and it is a supermarket bag full – literally!! Just as I wake.  Nurse Maude then turn up for their scheduled weekly appointment/check up.  I get the tick of approval from, them that all is going well.  Sue and Karen heads off to collect Jacob as he arrives back home from Auckland tonight.  The Thompsons and Lachie also arrive home.  They are staying for dinner tonight – Roast Lamb – I would say yum – but nausea is not wanting to let me agree with that but I still manage to have a bit – very tasty indeed.  The Choc Brownie was bloody good too.

Have a lovely evening catching up.  Say our farewells to all, and sit down to blog, and watch some TV though I doubt I will be watching long – struggling.  Hope all have had a smoother day than mine, and are all fit and well. Till tomorrow.

Kia Kaha.

“Does your arse ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?” – Karen Thompson

After a bit of thinking – about todays appointment with the Doctor, here is a quick update on what happened in Dec when I was taken off Chemo, etc. And where to from here on.  

Had an Oncology appointment today, we have questioned the results of my last MRI in December which they haven’t given us clear results of other than there has been some change, haven’t said if it is new growth and if so in which tumor(s), or if there is now another bloody tumor. I have also had a lot of lumber pain for some time which no amount of pain killers seems to help. So I am getting another MRI of my head and torso. This should be in the next four weeks. 

I love the quotes over the past couple of days, firstly as they are ones that Karen (friend from Invers that was here on Sunday) just freely recited, and they are quite apt for how life is some days.  Hope you don’t take offence or object to them to much, just laugh at them.  No joy with 2 full nights of sleep here unfortunately   Was about to head to bed after finishing the blog, when the pain beast returned, dragging along his mate the tummy acid monster!  They set about torturing me slowly for the next 2 hours on and off.  So play the game of meds in, pain down, is that enough – no do it again, with them!  It is quite a strange game really.  So eventually I crawl into bed about 3am – I think, exhausted.  One think about dealing with the pain is that it drains the crap out of you.

Wake about 6am as sore and restless, so get up and get on with the day.  Load up on meds and a cuppa tea.  Feeling like I’ve been run down by a bus again, so in for another flat day so to speak.  Log in to work and get a couple of searches that I need running underway before things get too busy.  Sue hits the road to work, and Lachie drags himself out of bed.  What/who will we have today – unhelpful Lachie or back to nice helpful?  Thankfully at early appearance it seems to be the latter  – Yay, our Lachie is back – I hope!!  Get big hugs and cuddles – so yep he’s back!   Go and get ready for the day – have a head cut – would say hair but I think I nicked that much skin off it that it is head – bugger.  I hate the sting that happens when you go to rinse it afterwards in the shower.  Own well it is a great way to wake up the senses   I really need to get off these steroids – I have now put on 20KG!!!  20KG in 1 1/2 months – ahhhh!!

Lachie keeps busy doing Sues jigsaw and playing on his iPod, so he leaves me to it, basically, which is great as I need time to concentrate.  Get through a good amount of the work that I need too.  Glen and June Walters then turn up for a visit.  Fantastic to see you both after far too long.  Sorry I know I’m a slack ass   Have a good catchup, then they head off.  Lachie goes to the Booth house while Sue and I head off to the hospital, as I have an appointment with the Oncology Chemo Specialist.  Meeting goes well – loads of questions and answers.   Nothing new to report to the general world though – sorry folks.  Just the usual, I’m screwed, they just don’t know when.  Head home then and make dinner – Thai green curry, and Lachie has Sushi which he makes for himself – got to be self sufficient in this house or starve

Do blog – early. Watch TV then M&D time and make an attempt at going to bed as starting to feel like I’m about to crash bigtime. Just don’t feel right in the head, very sore, struggling to stay awake and incredibly nausous feeling   It could be a long night, though I really hope not. We’ll see how that goes tomorrow, shall we.  Hope that everyone has had a good Monday – and ready to sleep it off.  Take care, till Tuuesday.

Kia Kaha.

“Life is not on a remote, so get up and change it yourself.” – Karen Thompson

Well mark this day in history – I went to bed about 1:30am and woke again at 8:30 – so what can be classed as a full night, uninterrupted sleep!!  The first one in over a month and a half – so some sort of victory for me you could say!!  What it really also means though is that the pain has stayed away, the nioght terrors have stayed away too, and I have not suffered any night panic attacks.  Wake very sore all over but feeling good in the head and generally – if that makes sense.  Actually probably slept so well as I had by the end of yesterday, consumed that many pain killers that I was numb  

Head downstairs to get my morning meds on board.  Back is feeling good – knees are the issue today – bugger it all.  Get breakfast ready and make a cuppa tea.  Take Sue her cuppa, and then head off to get the paper.  That is ironically the real test for my back, as I can make it to the paper but by 1/3 way back I will break down in pain.   And it hasn’t passed the test   Back very sore, but manage to make back to the house.  Have brekkie and Dad and Michael turn up to drop off the Yellow Falcon Ute which Dad is selling (so if you know anyone wanting a kick-ass XR6 Turbo 6 speed manual Ute – 3 piece hard lid, sports bars, lowered XR8 power bulge bonnet, custom i-spec Ford ordered Falcon – Yellow – will post a pic tomorrow) then let me know.  Real head turner.  No test pilots need apply though, as yes it is really fast (140 plus in third and still pulling harder than a school boy and yes it’ll get you in a heap of trouble boy before you know you in it).  Get the idea I love this car?  Faster than the Typhoon.  Shit I hate not been able to drive!!  Anyway, they drop the car off, have a coffee and a catch up then head on their way to work.

I get ready to face the day while Sue goes to gets some stuff for lunch as we have Craig, Karen, Kathy and Jack from Invercargill coming over for lunch seen as they are in town.  They arrive and we have a lovely lunch and great catch up all arvo.  Awesome day, thanks guys, really relaxing and fun day.  The day warms up nicely – not to hot today which is good.  Craig, Karen and kids then head off and Lachie and I set about cleaning the cars, and washing down the driveway as there is plum from the trees all over it and it is getting brought into the house.  Job done, and head inside for dinner and to blog and watch some TV.  Still have had to watch, manage the pain again today, and have again consumed a larger amoutn of pain killers, but I see the Chemo Oncology Specialist tomorrow so will cover how much I am taking this with her.  They (Docs & Nurses) have told me that I can take as much as needed with out worry as it is extremely hard to OD on it apparently.  The bodyu paiun is starting to kick in again properly now, and the head is just starting to get going too, so will wrap it up – meds up and hit the sack hoping for another full nights rest – fingers crossed.  Hope all have had a wonderful Sunday, and totally enjoyed it.  Till the morrow arrives – take care, be good at it and have fun.

Kia Kaha.