3 Too Many

I am now mobile in a pushed wheelchair (not self propelleed(asI have no way of I know I said I’d update more but in reality  the ironic part of all this needing to slow down I am finding that I have lesstime. Thursday =a very wobbly  day on my feet(which is almost evryday now, which isn’t nice for anyone, and called for assisitance from my work colleaguges-thank you so muchforgetting me out from under my desk. guysSaturday started with a simple act of having a shave then ending uptaking an improptue sideways dive into an empty bath!Ouch!!not goodon a buggered back. let alone allowing for assistance to be rendered=Once again Jacob &Sue do a Sterling job of hauling me out of trouble- esp. Jacobfor getting me up again. from under the taps.Mum stops by for a visit and helps take care 0f me thereby giving Sue a break.Wendy Stops by and Sue and Wends and the dogs go for a walk at the park.Mum stops by for a visit snd helps take care of me as Idrop for fall 4 today!!Mum works for Nurse Maude so knows how to handle special cases like me apprently.

WELL HELLO AGAIN,I know it has been a while since I’ve posted to the blog, and I’ll keep thisbrief so hopefully you’ll understand and appreciate why.

First up I have only one finger to type with as Wison means that I can’t type 2 fingered or ‘normal ‘ per sue’Al last night I had an 8 minute long siezure – these tire you out quickly  and sleeping in lounge(due to mine and Sue’s (- bad backs!) isnt helping either. and then along with one of my meds which knocks you out within minutes too so I cant win basically.  this is along with the general busyness of life and there is little time for anything.  also having constant pain in my head and back, I took 2 falls on Wednesday- . Learnt to drive a walking frame, giving in to modesty and using a walking stick now to get around. I will do a full week blog tomorrow to fill in the details- but I’m here still- somewhat modesty beaten down.till then take care.

Kia Kaha.

“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.” – Maori Proverb

Fairly settled sleep by my standards, probably due to the amount of pain killers that I had to consume yesterday to be able to get through the day. Put it this way I was comfortably numb! It’s the best place to be.  Though the fog from yesterday is still hanging over me so work from home seen as I’m also very wobbly on my feet again today. Talk to Nurse Maude about the weekend events and they are going to call me tomorrow to go over things a bit more. Sue gets home and we get ready to had of to the head off you the hospital to get the results of last week’s MRI SCANS from the oncology specialist. The meeting goes extremely well.and the news is double headed so I will try to paint full picture now for you.  But the best news is that it is still 3 to many, as in there is not a number 4 tumor now growing as could of been a possibility.  But the big mofo has been active and has grown in size since the scan at the beginning of December. This growth is what has caused Wilson to start the misbehaving again. With the bad tissue pushing on the good which causes misfire of the brain.The second biggest thing today is that the pain in my back has been mis diagnosed from my last scan where we were told that the cancer had spread from my brain to the sheath on  my spine.  What was showing there is now not visible and the only thing they can see that is causing back pain is a slipped disc.

So there you have it – a good and bad day in a way but I’m smiling so will take the victory,  hope that you’ve all had a good news day too Take care all – I am

Kia Kaha.

Well another weekend has past in our world, with a new set of adventures.

Ant woke on Saturday morning following a standard night of lack of sleep.  Unfortunately his balance was not flash, and he was dragging his left foot when walking.  We have made the decision to move ourselves to the down stairs bedroom for his safety and my peace of mind.  I pop across town to NM to grab a walking frame for Ant, while this is useful it also proves to be a little interesting as Wilson doesn’t always want to be helpful.  Had planned to head to the V8s today, but flag this due to Ants ‘wobbles’, and have a day at home.  Ro and Andy come over for afternoon drinks and nibbles, and end up staying for dinner (great to catch up!) and watch the rugby with us.  Kids spend the evening playing footy in the back yard, love the warm evenings.

Sunday Ants balance is a little better than yesterday.  Get up and organised, Jacob is part of a team having a friendly footy game against St Bedes.  Head to Halswell to meet up with all,  and then all head over to St Bedes.  Get there, Ants head pain is quickly getting worse.  Just prior to kick off we make the decision to take him home (thanks Nutty for having the boys for us).  Get home and Ant goes for a lay down as his pain has gone from a 4-6 to about an 8, I then spend the next two hours getting his pain under control (and baking choc chip cookies!).  Needless to say, when Ant appeared in the kitchen (as the first tray had just come out of the oven – fresh baking can’t keep him down, especially choc chip cookies!), he looked far better than when we had got homej.

Nutty appears with boys, a great win we hear!! Just sorry we missed their first game of the season, but that’s just the way of things some days.  Feed all and then head down to Halswell for Lachlan’s footy trial and for Ant to catch up with his team who are also playing a friendly today.  I run away for a wee bit with Jacob, head back to find Ant, Craig, Shane, Guy and Fish having a fat chat in the club room bar!  Giving each other the normal amount of stick! Eventually we head for home for a low key evening.  Hope you have all had a great weekend, and that the week ahead is smooth running! Take care.

Sue with some sub-editing by me!

Kia Kaha.

Firstly sorry for the tardiness. Have had that much of Draining week that i can’t write anything let alone stay conscious long enough to output something of Legible sense.
Yes it has been a full on week for me and those around mand it has caught up fully with me. Quiet day at work. Thanks again for you help today Alison and Bernard. Sue collects me about 1:15 and we head home via the boys school to get them as they want to be picked up we stop by the supermarket to pick up some basics as the Booths are coming to watch the super rugby tonight and to have an easy dinner-  is going well until I get to my seat in the sun then fatigue and sleep get hold of me oh and th exhaustion of getting thru the past week hits me. What a week it’s been too. I’ve been strappeded l into an MRI scanner for 3 hours. Then losing started having regular spasms of my leftside aka Wilson. Also the emotional hell of dealing with the loss of capable use of my  limbs. @ left

“Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run.He hates that.” – unknown. 

Taking back pain pills (that make you sleepy) 3 hours before you’re due to get up, doesn’t do the old absence seizures effect much good.

In fact it knocked me down that flat for the morning at work that I may as well had a pillow and duvet and slept on the couches in the office. What a bloody struggle of a day to stay lively. Result of a sad crappy sleep. Went through the emotional wringer last night, had trouble breathing several times, wake up feeling like I’m drowning ads my chest feels too to tight. Why the emotional crap? Cause I’m bloody sick of surrendering more and more of my life to these tumours. Everyday I notice a little more of my independence gone, something that I could do yesterday is now a battle to do! Then my back adds its pain.

Wake about 6 am feeling exhausted and with my bloody head thumping- no surprises there. Head down to get some good pain killers. Then get ready for the day or is that do battle with the day, and everything in it. Walk into work. Stand in the lift wondering why it’s not going anywhere then realise that I haven’t swapped my access card – doh! Swap my card and get to my floor. Sit down- well flop downm more like, and honestly nearly collapse. Have a good morning and manage to last it through. Aladdin and Bernard help me out with spring my lunch – thanks guys.. glad I didn’t send food flying trying to eat as usual. Nice to have great friends and colleagues that will take care of you when you need a little help, or talk to you when you just need an ear to listen to you. Especially now that I have a growing need on others for assistance. I still Try to make light of things and hate asking for help, so I’ll say sorrynow if  I get snappy when /if you offer help. It is just frustration raring it’s ugly head, and as I’ve always been an independent sort of person, it makes the backlash worse sometimes I think. Sue picks me up about 1pm and we head home.I  Have a snooze in the sun  for about 4 – hours. Dad delivercalls to see how I am and how all are both myself and the family. Take the boys to footy practice then go round to fridge and Nutty’s for a coffee and chat. Back to collect the lads. Then home for dinner. And blog. Watch some tv and get through the blog. Have you had a good day? Hope so as you just never known what shit life is going to throw at you,and I think I’m proof enough of that statement. Take care. Make plans, have fun. And be good at it.  Happy Birthday Craig!! Cheers,  hope you’re having a couple of quiets and your ladies have spoilt you today.

Kia Kaha.

“Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.” ~Wayne Dyer

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”-  Jim Rohn

“I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)” – Unknown

Quick update today as my head has given me hell today so no work. Probably due to a crappy sleep as usual between my back and head at the moment I’m really getting dragged through wringer, but I’ve accepted this. And the crappy feeling is just the weekend catching up with me. It honestly feels like a bad hangover.

Well I hope that after tomorrow’s MRI get the real answers that I need about everything especially my head and back, even if it means getting some better meds and a way to sleep. Wake about 6am feeling like hell, and only go downhill from there. Crawl back to bed and pass out then until midday. Wake feeling very out of sorts and unstable on my feet, which by the way is starting to become almost a normal feature. Have a very slow arvo trying to stay on my feet and out of trouble.

Boys get home, happy and in great spirits which is nice to see and hear. Get ready then to head out as going to Pam and Karl’s for dinner as Nevil and Rose are in town. Have a lovely evening – well as good as you can have when you’re not feeling brilliant,and are escourted by Wilson. The food was yummy, and company very nice. Thanks too for the vegetables Karl. Head home then blog and continue the strange feelings. Left arm and face have a full on spasm just before posting the blog but manage to get it under control. Still don’t like them as they frighten me that I’m going to knock some thing over or hurt myself or someone. So there you have it a very sedate Monday finished with a spasm. I hope you’ve had a sedate Monday too and it hasn’t been too frantic. ‘Take care all.

Kia Kaha.

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

Welcome to another sleepless Sunday – well for me it was a nasty broken sleep. At least I was able to head off and get help and importantly At least it didn’t happen in the middle of the night which would’ve made it more scary. So clock on another 4 hours sleep for last night to the weekly total and I think once now manned about 20 hours grand total. No wonder it feel like a bloody zombie! Oh well this is how it is and shall be, then so be it. I’ve had to learn to give and take a bit with this illness so some sleep is really nothing.