3 Too Many

Treatment Round 2 – Set 1 – Day 5 – Chemo only.

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” – Orson Welles

Made it – last day of Chemo, well for the next 23 days anyway.  Feeling crappy already (and haven’t taken a single thing yet) – head has been hurting overnight and already feeling ill   Even better woke a couple of times with the random tears.  But I think I now have got to the bottom of why this happens, as when I woke I was hit with the thoughts of everything I’m going to miss.  You know, sort of bucket list in reverse – in that there is so much that I won’t get to see that I can’t control or make happen now.  Things like the boys growing older (cause when you’re a boy growing old is compulsory but growing up is optional), maybe graduating Uni, getting married, and just growing older. Of course there is all the friends and family too.  What can I do about it – nothing. I can’t be selfish and wish for anything but the best for everyone.  I guess it could be summed up as I am mourning the life I won’t get to share with others – but I haven’t really realised until now how it had been working over in my deep subconscious.  Anyhow – enough of the darkness for now.

On with the day.  Deciding whether to stay home and be miserable alone of go into the office and be miserable but at least have the company of my PortaCarers to talk too.  Decide to head in to the office as had enough of being home.  Feeling okish at the moment though not wanting to eat brekky.  Get into the office and on with work.  Struggling with body temp today as well – keep going hot and cold.  Force myself to eat something so I can take the next lot of drugs, though it is not sitting well.  Good morning at work but head off after lunch as fading quickly.  Manage to hold off having a sleep and seem to be bouncing back energy wise.  Jacob goes to footy practice, Lachie and I stay home as I’m not doing to well.

Jacob & Sue appear about 6:15 and start tea – not really feeling like eating still.  This is just getting depressing – as feeling lousy like this gets to you.  But really I have nothing to complain about as I am not doing the Chemo via IV or having to go to the hospital everyday, and really not vomiting is a bonus.  So I’ll just suck it up, adjust my attitude and get on with dealing with it.

Have dinner relax, do blog and some more research into the tumors and treatment – never can know enough.  Hang in there till M&D time then head for sleep – really need it today as struggled through nodding off most of the day.  Have a good day/evening/arvo all.

Kia Kaha.

Treatment Round 2 – Set 1 – Day 4 – Chemo only.

No headache – well not yet. Mind you it is only 5:40.  Check through the doses for today (as I have extras to take on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday).  Make a cuppa then into the routine. Sit down and finish yesterdays blog that was just so much work to get out – told ya the head was in the wrong place. Get it done and posted, then decide to hit the spin bike just after I take the Chemo and before it kicks in and ruins any chance to do some exercise.  Mange to churn out 6.5kms so happy with that. Getting further as time goes on.  Missing the gym & weights at home though – Its fine making the legs ache but it’s making the whole body hurt that’s better. 

Listen to my music while on the bike, but one song that really sort of sums up how I’m feeling – Rage Against the Machine – Killing In The Name Of.  Still quite wound up and  messed up.  I’m sure I’ll get over it soon. To take a line from the Drink Driving ad – I’ve been internalising a really complicated situation – and no, I don’t want some Ghost Chips! I’m back in fight mode to take on and keep taking on these bloody extras in my head.  I think it is more the headaches and pain have been a constant reminder over the past few days that they are actually in my head and very real.  I’m not saying that I have not accepted that but it is the first real-time that they have caused pain like this so you start wondering if they’ve got bigger or something else is going on.  In reality it is just the Chemo doing its thing of beating them up.  I remember early on in the treatment round 1 the Doctors saying to just let the drugs and radiation do their things as they will wage the real fight – I just need to support them by staying healthy and fit and resting when I need too.  Well trying my best to do that now.  In fact my mind is back to the old way of causing me to just drop off to sleep at random.  So if I do this when I see you  – I apologise now.

Boys up and not looking enthused about going back to school.  The Chemo is kicking in on me so decide to stay in the cell for the day as head starting to hurt again and nausea is coming on too.  Plus theres a couple of issues that are going on so I’ll stay on looking at those.  Sue & boys depart for their respective locations.  Morning whistles by – not sure if it’s the pain killers or what.  Don’t have something to eat until about 10 when I force some yogurt down. Stomach not happy about having food in it but tough luck – have to eat something to stop me fading away (a bit of humor there – as according to the hospital I have only lost 2kgs).  I know I’m obsessed about my weight but I have a shit load of clothes that I struggle to fit now and I just don’t like it!

Access to work becomes fickle and a nice day outside – 19 degrees at the moment so doors and windows open. contemplate a walk but I wish I had the energy. Ahh well can’t have everything.  Work gets going again so keep up with it.  Sue gets home about 2 so force some lunch down.  Then Jacob gets home.  Tiredness starts to kick in and going to have to give in soon to having a lay down.  Lachie and Sue get home again after visiting Hoon Hay Road.  Sit down and doze off then – not sure for how long but get woken by the boys telling me the G is here for a visit.  Have a cuppa and a natter – good to see you G.  Boys get stuck into homework, Sue cooks tea and I nurse my head as it’s hurting – again.

Have dinner then get on to finish the blog as tonight is rapidly heading the same way as last night.  Lots of pain on my left side – where the original migraines that I get Botox for are located.  As I haven’t had it topped up (should’ve been done June 28), it is now starting to wear off so I am getting double whammy headaches – 1 tumors and the other from the SUNCT headaches. Not sure which is actually worse, though for persistence the tumors are winning. 

Hope all have had an excellent Monday and all behaved well.  Take care.

Kia Kaha.

Treatment Round 2 – Set 1 – Day 3 – Chemo only.

 5:45 start again – standard for when I am on Chemo. Sort out the drugs and head then take the first of the morning.  Not in a good place mentally and feeling very frustrated and wound up.  Decide to get on the spin bike before taking the Chemo drug else won’t be feeling like it then.  Manage to churn out 7kms so happy with that.  Probably burnt all the energy for the day too – bugger it Dose up on the rest of the drugs and wait for the crappiness to begin.  Spend the day feeling sick and with a headache – just like old days of an all day hangover – just induced by a different method.  Lachie appears about 7:30ish and we watch a movie together. 

I won’t gloss it over – I am doing this round of Chemo harder already than the 6 weeks of the combined Radiation/Chemo treatment.  I have a constant thumping headache which flares at times to intense migraine type pain.  Today’s nauseous feelings were at a new high too.  Didn’t feel like eating for most of the day.  Inside, mentally, I am struggling a bit with plunging from the high of feeling so good and ‘normal’ to 3 days into this.  I know that there is only 2 days to go but this just sucks!  If this is what 3 days is like then doing this till Feb next year is going to be a real challenge – just need to get my head in the right space again to take this on.  I am more than capable of it, but just need me time to sort it out – if you like I need to line my ducks all up in a row so my plan of attack is clear.  Enough dribble – basically I’m not set well in my mind for this so just putting it out there.

On with the day – feeling crappy and all. Beautiful day outside, need to escape the 4 walls of the cell.  We head off to Hoon Hay Road to check out the progress and pick up some more clothes.  Looking like the house will be completed this week, so we will then have the move back to arrange.  On then to Hornby to the mall to get some basics then off to get Jacob from Brad’s place.  Have a coffee & a chat with Judy & Paul before heading homeward. 

Cook up the meat pack, that I won at footy, for dinner. Then try to get the blog done, but sorry, the  brain was not in the right head space and was hurting too much to be able too. Watch a movie on tv then head to bed as shattered.

So, short and sweet and boring really.  Trust all had or are having a good Sunday.  Take care – catch you on the flip side.

Kia Kaha.

Treatment Round 2 – Set 1 – Day 2 – Chemo only.

Wake just as the alarm goes off at 5:45. Head really thumping – nearly fall downstairs (might have been a good cure).  Load up pain killers – starting to hate this again – and get the myriad of drugs out ready for the day.  Not in a good place mentally again, in fact feeling wound up.  Probably cause the head is thumping away and I know that will be the way the day will pan out.  Another wasted day to sore & tired to do not a damn thing except load up on the drugs that are only buying time.  They will never fix or rid the tumors – only stop them for a certain unknown amount of time.  Wondering if, after the clarity of last week, if this punishment is worth it.  The anti-nausea drugs make you feel odd, then the Chemo ones ruin your day – kicked in early today 40 mins till start hurting & feel yuck. Next the fuzzy ones – steroids & anti seizure.  Great start to a Saturday – feeling sick, sore tired, fuzzy & grumpy.  Look out world – no happy Tony today!  You have been warned!!  The mental acceptance of being terminal is easy really, the dealing with having your daily health mucked around with constantly is the hardest bit.  You can’t really plan a day as all bets could go out the window after one dose.  Oh well – guess I’ll just suck lemons on it as it is what it is and I just have to get on with it.  I could get really deep on a couple of subjects but decide that the frame of mind I’m in, it would be just a drag or very intense, so will spare you the bordem of it.  Maybe another day.

The boys arrive downstairs about 7:30 looking like they’ve just been dragged out of the bushes outside.  They’re told to get their own brekky as the thought and sight of food is not what I want today.  Sue then comes down too and sorts brekky with Jacob’s help.  Lads then get ready for footy.  Off to Halswell as both boys there today.  Lachlan has a great game and they beat Mid Canterbury 4-1.  Jacob’s team has a fairly good game, far better half, and they win 2-0 over Cashmere.  Home then to have Bacon butties for lunch – bugger the nausea is not helping the appetite but force 2 sammies down as have to eat something.  Lay down then on the couch and promptly fall asleep for about 40 mins – hate that!!  Wake up with little energy or enuthsasim about doing anything – boys wanting to do something.  I take my arvo meds and drift back to fuzzy land.  Jacob going to stay at Bradley’s tonight so get him ready and Lachie and I going to watch the old lads game at Halswell too. Get there to catch the last 15 minutes. Good game but unfortunately they go down 2-1.  Good effort though guys.  Go up and have a coke and win another meat pack then head over to the Old Vicarage with Fish for his birthday ad Aubrey and a few others join us.  Have a good night there then head home as Lachlan tired and I’m starting to hurt a bit. 

Watch the end of the rugby and just relax watching Inception & finishing blog.  Had enough of today.  So will sign off now – M&D time maybe later – might drop the night fuzzy drugs.  Till a better frame of mind in another day, take care all and I hope you have a better Saturday than I did.

Kia Kaha.

Treatment Round 2 – Set 1 – Day 1 – Chemo only.

Well here we are, round 2 of the treatment.  Chemo only for the next 7 odd months.  I’ll be doing 5 days of Chemo in every 28 days.  As for what song is best suited to start this round, I think that knowing what Chemo will do to you AC-DC – HIghway to Hell is probably the right one   Wake at 2am, 3am then finally 5:15 and seen as I have to get up at 5:30 to get the drugs ready to take – 15 pills in total at 7 different set times.  Am mentally ready for this but still knowing what it the drugs will do to me are a bit to still get past.  6am and the first drug on board. Get changed and on to the spin bike then and do 5km – may as well try to keep the fitness increase going before the chemo takes it off me again – helps with the fight too. Make a cuppa tea and do some work until 7am rolls round. Next drugs on board – the main one – Temozolomide (the Chemo one).  Wait for the effects to start kicking in, as when I was on the lower dose of this previously, half an hour after taking it my back would hurt incredibly.  Make it to nearly 8am before starting to feel yuck – nausea, headache coming on but no back or body aches yet.  Starting to feel worse so power down brekky before II don;t want it at all.  Take pain killers a s head and now back packing in more   And feeling really fuzzy in the head now as just taken the next 5 pills – fun day ahead I think – not!

Jacob stays home to care for me if I need it – good lad.  Keep doing work and just taking it easy as energy now flagging.  Jacob gets me some lunch then I take some time out to rest.  Have sleep for about an hour or so.  Wake up not long before Leon, Katie, Lucy, Ben & Harrison arrive.  Have a good catch up, natter and fish & Chips for tea.  Fantastic to see them all and thanks for visiting – appreciate it. Lachie arrives home from camp too – nice to have my man back.  Leon, Katie & kids head back to Hanmer.

Sue heads off to Nats for birthday vino’s – Happy Birthday Nat!  The boys and I sit down and watch the rugby then off to bed at half time as they have footy in the morning.  I get on with the blog as head hurting – again, and feeling like I won’t be far from bed as have another early start tomorrow.  Also head is fuzzy and sore and mentally heading to a down place.  Need to think positive and kick myself back to the good place.

I’ll sign off now as going to watch the Warriors game and then M&D time and bed.  Have a fantastic weekend all and a great day/arvo/evening.  Remember – have fun, keep calm & be safe.

Kia Kaha.

1 Day till Chemo starts again.

Odd start to the day.  Wake suddenly at 4:20 then at 4:21 the cell phones all light up for no reason – as in no emails, text, alarms, or the likes – just glows. Hhmm – something in the Force changed young Jedi.  I know I had been getting cramp and head pain in the night but nothing to cause a sudden awakening like that as feel ok. Lay there staring at the ceiling thinking and wondering about things.  Maybe I have just flipped back into Chemo mode a day early – as in having to get up early to get the drugs on board?  Try to go back to sleep but no luck so up at 5.  Will do some work for a bit then on to the spin bike for a session – 5km today – wearing down as the week goes on, but done 3 days now – so habit formed again!  Feeling better each day too.  Listen to the noises of a city starting to wake – kind of cool – love early mornings. 

Maybe my take on normality is skewed at the moment in that I am desperate to continue to rid myself of these fuzzy ‘in case’ drugs that I am falsely believing that I can put the past 4 1/2 months behind me like some bad dream and start again.  Not sure, but I know that even within a week I am improving more each day.  But with tomorrow bringing the next round of the battle who knows what the new normality will become.  All I know is that whatever it does produce, I will be ready for it.  I will not let these 3 mofo’s win.  As I have said they will adjust to me and so far this week they have been playing ball with that idea. As a note for those I have not seen, there is a marked change in even the symptoms that I presented with when this was all diagnosed.  I had droopy on the left side of my face (similar to Bells Palsy), along with slight paralysis, slurred speech, tingling & lack of strength in left arm & hand.  Now my face has come mostly right, speech slurs slightly when tired but better all round, arm & hand (aka Wilson) all but gone.  But then as I remind myself that dwelling on the point life changed maybe a good thing in a way (as it is a real connection to so much),  I need to also remember that when I finish the treatment early next year I will have a whole new normality.  I’m not sure what state mentally or physically I’ll be in then but I am going to start making a mental list of what I intend to be able to do or be doing in 6-7 months time.

Get ready for work and Jacob appears looking like death warmed up with hair standing on end and eyes red and sore.  Poor lad has not voice either.  Make sure he stays arms length – last thing I need is another lurgy.  Give him a strepsil for his throat and he zones out in front to tv then goes to see Mum.  Sue is going to stay home with him so I head to work with Jono.  Sue then has to head to work so packs Jacob up as well.  Have a good day and hang in there until 2:15.  Jacob wants to have a look from the offices at the city so take him to the 7th floor for a look, and then to the 5th floor so he can see my desk and say Hi to my PortaCarers.

Head home to rest then as heading out for dinner tonight and head is hurting and I’m tiring.  Have some drugs and put my feet up for a bit.  Then head out for a walk to clear my head and stretch the legs.  Work on the blog seen as not sure how late tonight will be and as it was an early start and tomorrow will be an early one with Chemo starting again.

Head out for dinner.  Drop Jacob at Roh & Andy’s & the girls – thanks guys.  Then off to Edesia in Show Place.  We meet Jenny, Jamie, Karl and the birthday lady Pam there.  Awesome dinner – have Beef fillet carpaccio for an entrée, then Angus Prime Eye Fillet with roasted root vegetables, Boxty potato, smoked bacon lardons, baby onions, & red wine jus for the main.  And a lovely birthday cake for dessert.  I lovely night great food and wonderful company. 

Head off then to collect Jacob and head home.  Finish blog and do M&D (Milo & Drugs) time then bed.  Hope all have had a good day/arvo/evening too. 

Kia Kaha.

Day 24 of 26 Treatment Free = 2 days till T day 2 (2 days till treatment round 2 Chemo only).

Restless sleep, but OK.  Get up at 6:15 and head for the spin bike again – steady on 2 days in a row is 1 day off a habit!  Manage to do 5.2kms in 15mins today.  Legs more wobbly than yesterday – but still I did something.  Love the way it wakes you up and starts the day.  Have brekky then and take the now reducing fuzzy drugs and  steroids. Well there goes the great start to the day – cloudy comes in.  Not as bad as it used to be but there is some none the less.

Off to work – enjoy the walk into work from the Art Gallery end of Gloucester Street.  The peaceful hum of a city been deconstructed – something you just get used too now sadly.   Actually remember when some of the buildings were getting constructed so funny in a way now looking at them in their pealed down state, as in I can think back 24 years an imagine looking at the nearly completed at the time Price Waterhouse Coopers building – minus the smashed windows.  It was 1988 roughly.  Work is good – manage to have another productive day – though my head is also having a productive day with generating headaches   Take pain killers but still not brilliant.  They tire you out.  Head off about 1:30 as need to rest cause I’m fading.  Get home for a rest for a bit – just feet up but it is enough to recharge the energy levels. Head off then to get the Chemo script ready for Friday and to stop by the house to check other walls colours to make sure they are correct.  The contractors have found out the painters switched the lids on the paint pails by accident and as the  colours are a 1/4 tint off it was noticed.  A 1/4 tint doesn’t sound much but it is when the sun hits it.  All good with the house – they are fixing the wrong rooms.

Back home then for some more relaxing and dinner before heading out to the Old Vicarage to catch up with the footy lads after their practice. Get a call from the camp leader that the boys are on – Jacob has come down with a vomiting bug and wants to come home.  One of the camp folk are heading back tonight so they are going to drop him off on the way.

George picks me up and head off for drinks – well Ginger Beer.  Head still hurting on and off but ok enough to not worry me. Nice to be out and having a catch up with many of the guys that I haven’t seen for a while.  Head home then and arrive at the same time Jacob is getting dropped off.  Thanks for the lift to the pub George and the jokes.  Jacob looks like crap so off to bed to sleep it off.

Time for blog, M&D and then off to sleepsville as want to be more energetic tomorrow and I have dosed up on pain killers for the head.  Hope everyone else has had a great day/arvo/evening too.  Keep smiling – it makes people wonder what you’ve been up too

Kia Kaha.

Day 23 of 26 Treatment Free or now it is going to be 3 days till T day 2 (3 days till treatment round 2, Chemo, starts).

Drifting on and off since about 4:45 but wait till 6:15 till getting up.  Head feeling great again – yay.  Body not aching either – double yay!  Can’t wait till I get off these ‘in case’ drugs all together. I see them like have a cast on a leg in case you break it.  If I have a seizure (and apparently I will once the tumors get big enough – like 3cm isn’t already enough room for the big one to occupy), then I’ll give in and take them again.  I guess if you read this and don’t know me then you’ll be starting to get the picture that I don’t generally comply with the norm – well I do for about 10 seconds then I’ll be questioning things or doing it differently.  Instructions are rules to be corrected, rules are guidelines to be tested, and laws are rules to be challenged.  Just be sure you have it right when you do challenge though or at least have a bloody good argument or  are able to debate well.  Anyway – feeling so good that I hit the spin bike for a session.  Manage to do 5.5kms in 15mins and feel good – though wobbly legged.  Easy biking watching music videos on the tablet – makes the time fly.  Good effort by my well depleted soft ass standards – just need the gym and weights now.  I have extra motivation too as the bloody dodgy scales at the hospital yesterday said I have lost only 1kg – ahh!!  I don’t care how many health professionals tell me that its fine to be overweight with cancer – to me been 14kgs heavier than I was 4 months ago and feeling unfit is not sitting well.  If my head is back in the right space then no reason to get my fitness back either – may as well be as normal as possible (but really our normality is only an idea that we create in our minds based on the perception of the world we have based on our upbringing and interpretation of those around us based on their actions in relation to these perceptions and interpretations). How is that for deep – phew!!

On with the day before I melt the brain down to much with the deep stuff  Brekky and off to work.  Good day at work, everything cruising along – no issues for a Tuesday so all good.  Keep up the search for missing pubs from around the Feb quake, slow process but needs to be done.  Head off after lunch as wearing down.  Home then for a rest then log back in to work for bit later on.  Heading out to dinner with Greg & Wendy tonight as cancelled once when I went downhill and ended up in hospital.

Good evening out – excellent Thai Yellow Curry for dinner with a totally bad for you fried banana sundae (I know I have just done bad things for myself but bugger it  Also had a great catch up.  Home then to relax – blog then sleep as fading again – sorry G&W – will stop next time for coffee.

M&D time as usual – this will continue.  Have a good day/evening/arvo all.

Kia Kaha.

Day 22 of 28 Treatment Free – well since the meeting with the Chemo doc today this has changed to be Day 22 of 26 Treatment Free.

Welcome to a new day! Drifting on & off since about 5ish but give in to discomfort at 6 – which is fine.  Clear headed feeling too – hell its great to feel like this – just need to get the body back in order (fitness wise) and it’ll be watch out world I’m back.  So far today rates as a 8/10 mentally.  Also having thought a lot about the frustration and emotional feelings – well they’ve had their time in the sun, so to speak, over the past week & a bit so I’m over them as probably you folk are as much over them been bleated on about, so they have now been suppressed to the depths of the dark places where they need to be.  The ‘suck it up Princess’ attitude is back for myself and others – so if you don’t like it or feel it is the right attitude then either stop reading or find a cure cause this is how I’m dealing with it.  One day I’ll be dead (we all will be), but until then this blog is to let you know how it is traveling there physically and mentally, and with the comments from you readers how the support – even the smallest comments) is the greatest medicine that I can have.  Until then though I have the longest fight in the supported battle (Chemo) with these 3 unwanted add on’s starting a week today, so have my game face on already and mentally are ready to go.

There’s the waffle fresh from the sleep and before the drug muddled fuzziness of the day kicks in, so it is as fresh as it can get  from the brain.  Have brekky and drugs now and get ready for work.  Have to be ready to roll early today as the boys are off to camp for a week so have to drop them off before heading to work.  Deliver the boys – a few nervous moments as they sus out the others, but Jacob knows a couple of the boys so all good.  Lachie seems relaxed too.  Say bye to the lads, and head to work.  Busy morning getting a change done – but the head is in a great place so able to cope with it well.

Picked up at 1:45ish as off to Chemo Doc appointment.  Have time to stop by the paint shop to pick up a paint swatch as the colour the lounge is painted does not look like what was asked for.  Off then to the hospital for the appointment.  Sue has a stand up with a car park queue jumper.  Bloody foreigners!  Why I have to queue?  Go figure – cause you do in a car park that goes one way and there is 4 cars already waiting for parks.  It’s ok – have her cell number (her car is for sale) and rego dumb tart – ggrrr!  In for the eternal wait at the hospital.

Doctor is only 30 mins late today.  Meeting goes well – seems that the plan has changed a bit from when I meet the registrar about 4 weeks ago.  The new Chemo plan is 5 days of high strength Chemo (now 300mg per day – previously it was 120mg) then 23 days off – so 5 in 28 – starting this Friday too not Monday as I was told. Also discussed the need to be on the anti-seizure pills, and the steroids.  Doc has listened and agreed to a  plan of getting me off both  – steroids first then anti- seizure ones – but over about 1 month.  Any side effects then I am to go back to the levels again, and they will be monitoring through blood tests.  Travel is off the cards still until the next meeting with the Doc in about 3 weeks time – when I should be about ready to get off the steroids altogether.  The new plan sounds great to me – though I know it will be a tough road to get down – but well ready for it.

Off then to Hoon Hay Road (via the chemist to drop off the 2 pages of prescriptions for the next lot of treatment – aren’t I lucky), to meet EQR & the Builder about the upstairs floor slumping and the paint colour in the lounge.  Get there just in time to meet the other builder and go over the brick repairs outside that they have missed.  THe paint is then checked against the colour swatch and it is shown to be wrong – so a repaint of the lounge now going to happen.  Lastly the floor.  Nick comes over to listen in and check the floor too (he is a qualified builder and tutor at the Polytechinc).  Seems that when the house was built a couple of odd things have been done to try to level the floor up.  But there is also EQ damage so they are going to open more of the floor up then repair it to level again.  Happy with the meeting and the way work is progressing.  Home to second home then.

Odd not having the boys around.  Feeling fan bloody tastic still so have a small bourbon.  Get dinner ready – thanks Pam & Karl.  Get on with finishing the blog and relaxing watching Mythbusters – got to seize the novelty of Sky TV while I can.  Hope all have had or are having as a wonderful day/arvo/evening as I am.  Told ya I’m in a better place in my head.

Kia Kaha.

Day 21 of 28 Treatment Free.

Well for all the crap going through my head and the pitiful self sorry, I eventually got to sleep about 1:30ish.  And had a half decent sleep too – woke at about 8:45 – must have been the incredible 8 minute starring run at footy yesterday wore me out so much ;-). Head is hurting but so what – no surprises there. Decided that I’m going to drop the moan and groan and suck it up and get on with the priority of the week – focusing on getting on with the next round of treatment in a weeks time.  As I can go in the dumps, or be positive that I can keep fighting this out (not that I was going to lay down and accept it by the way).  I think the simplest way to describe it is frustrated.  And if you know me I don’t do frustration well.  I guess I’ll have to find a way to deal with it.  I know – maybe they have some drugs to help – joking.

Bagels and bacon with a cuppa tea (& pain killers and mess me up drugs) are calling for brekky so head downstairs.  The boys are zoned into What Now trying to win prizes – you’d think after 3 appearances on it in a month and a bit then they’d had enough.  Oh well – can’t blame them for trying.  Get the boys busy getting ready to pack for their camp this week.  They are off to Geraldine for 5 days adventure.  Should be good for them to sort out the brotherly war that seems to be going on.  Joh calls and have a quick catch up.  Hope you feel better soon sis.  Then off to the shops to try to find some shoes for the boys for camp.  Can’t find anything so off home again as decide they can make do with what they have. The boys grab their scooters and vouchers and we head to Scooter Pro.  Jacob gets a new brake and Lachie some new bearings.

We then head via Hoon Hay to collect the mail and take another look at the bent steel beam upstairs.  Also note that the colour in the lounge looks wrong so got to get the colour chart to compare it.  See Deb & Glen and they tell us that Murray and Elaine (the old neighbours from the other side) are coming to visit, so we head home for some lunch, my lovely drugs and to have a quick rest as I’m fading a bit.  Then head back to Hoon Hay to Deb & Glen’s.  Have a good catch up with Murray & Elaine – very good to see you again.  Head home then.  Go out for a 45min walk around the area to get some fresh air before dinner.  Dinner is thanks to Nat – yummy Macaroni Cheese.

Quiet evening – watch the Smurf movie with the boys while doing the blog.  Must admit not to motivated for it tonight.  Guess still not in the right frame of mind really.  Anyhow – have a great day/arvo/evening and take care out there.

Kia Kaha.