3 Too Many

“After all of this is over, all that will really matter is how we treated each other.” – Unknown

Usual broken sleep night.  Wake properly about 6 and do the usual staring at the ceiling until it is time to get up, but can’t be bothered as feel sore.  Drag myself up finally and get ready for work.  Not in the eating or drinking mood as nausea is doing its thing.  So skip breakfast and my cup of tea.  Head into the office. 

Nice to see everyone. Go through setting up the new Google Apps and Mail stuff.  Slow going as head is very sore and body aching therefore making it hard to read or concentrate properly.  Probably best I am around others today as not feeling the best.

I have noticed that I’m now having more problems with my short-term memory.  In that I can wander around the house trying to remember what I was going to do sometimes.  This really annoys me as I used to have an excellent memory, both long and short-term.  Yet another change brought about by the 3 mofo’s.  Not in for a good day all up really.  Emotionally screwed today, to put it bluntly.  I have several random teary moments.  If I only knew why, but just feeling very sad about life in general.  The mind keeps wandering to places that aren’t good as well.  Head is giving me hell to pain wise as I just can’t shake the pain either.  The drugs aren’t doing their thing very well    And the body is aching all over too, but mainly the joints and back.  Something new to discuss with the Chemo Doctor on Monday.

Sue picks me up about 1pm, and we head to see Nevil.  Great news is that he is getting discharged from hospital today. Fantastic news.  I fall asleep in the sun for most of the visit – sorry about that.  Just fatigue doing it’s thing. Then head for home.  Nearly fall asleep again in the sun – bugger, seem to be having a sleeping day again.  Go to the chemist then and get some Ensure drink that has been recommended to me (thanks Sarah) as I haven’t been able to eat anything substantial for about a week or more.  This is why I am probably feeling so crappy.  But it is hard to eat when it is a struggle to even drink water.  I take one of my strong pre-chemo anti-nausea tablets to see if that helps, and it seems to be enough that I can eat dinner – yay, food!!!  All be it a small amount, but at least it is something.  The only down side is i only have a limited number of the drugs and there is a shortage in NZ of them, so don’t want to use them all in case I can’t get more before the next round of Chemo next week.

Get on with blogging it, though hard work with head hurting and all over the place.  Going to head to bed soon to read and hopefully have th electric blanket sooth some of the body aches.  Trust all have had or are having a good day/arvo/evening.  Till the morrow.

Kia Kaha.

“A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings.” – Unknown

5am awaking today, after I finally got to sleep about 1am.  Bloody stuffed sleep patterns. There is only so much staring at the ceiling you can tolerate before you start going loopy (or in my case loopier!).  It also didn’t help having a couple of nightmares that woke me in between.  Guess the dark places are getting a bit real in my mind.  They can stay away really. Decide to get up about 6 and get on with the day.  Seem to be rifting back into the dark places, but managing to keep myself out of getting very down about it.  It does take a big effort really as there is so much that keeps coming to mind to deal with and on bad days it seems to be worse.  I’ll be fine, just saying though that things aren’t all plain sailing.  Bad day with the nausea too – can’t stomach anything but water today, and food is out of the question.  Feeling crappy because of it, and aching all over again.  I must ask the Chemo Doc about that as it seems to be a new feature.

Drag the boys out of bed about 7. Dad arrives then to take us to school & work.  We head out the door and get just around the corner before Jacob announces he is going to be sick.  Quickly evacuate the car and head home with him.  Lachie and Dad continue on their way.  Jacob just makes it home before disposing of his breakfast.  I don’t really feel much better but that’s normal anyway.  Jacob heads to bed then and I login to work.  Quiet day really. Jacob makes several more trips to the bathroom before doing his usual and bouncing back.  I make him a bed on the couch so I can keep an eye on him.

Lachie arrives home. I get dinner ready while the boys shower.  Lachlan then decides to join Jacob with up-chucking.  Great!  He says he’s fine and eats dinner still.  Boys wait up for Sue to get home.  Craig is picking her up from the airport – thanks Craig.  Have a catch up about how the holiday and party was.  Boys head to bed, as they will be going to school tomorrow.

Not far off heading to bed either as lack of sleep has caught me up.  I get the blog done and then attempt to have a Milo – not good.  Head to bed then to read as that is a sure thing for making me sleep.  Have a lovely day/arvo/evening all.

Kia Kaha.

“It is not more than you can handle. It is merely more than you thought you could.” – Laura Breckenridge

 Solid sleep, but I guess been tired beyond belief does that to you.  Only one way though to describe my first waking thought – ouch!!!  I thought that I had hurt before but this really takes the cake.  Yep, yesterdays effort has got a hold of me.  Lay there willing myself to get up but it just isn’t going to happen,  The boys come in to say morning and Happy Fathers Day.  Nice.  Jacob makes me a cup of tea – all I want for breakfast.  Then Lachie and Jacob bring me a card and pressies – yay.  I get a family portrait that was taken just after I was diagnosed, some Milk Bottle lollies, and a box of the microwave popcorn (it is really the only thing I can stomach even when really nauseous).  Perfect gifts guys!  Finally will myself out of bed, and get my meds into me.  Actually it is not hurting half as much once I’m up.

Yet another day that is playing hard on the emotions too.  I know I should not weigh or measure it as anything could happen to anyone of us that will mean it is our last. But as I have said before, when you have life’s countdown timer started against you, with an unknown end time, you can’t help but get a little emotional or sad about things.  In the same way that I will remember yesterday for the great time with the boys, I will also remember today for how special they have made me feel.  The difference is with today is I’m hoping and bloody determined that it is not my last Fathers Day.  I think that I have shed enough tears on each ‘special’ day that I would have by now run dry or learnt to control them.  It is hard though not to let emotions come through and as I’ve also said it is better to let the tears out than trying to bottle them up.  But is not only for missing the boys but also missing my own Father.  You wonder how many more cards will I get to give him, how many more cups of tea will the boys bring me, etc.  Damn it even writing about this is reducing me to tears.  Bugger it!  Tomorrow is another day and I will be fine, as I will start getting myself ready mentally for the next round of Chemo starting on Monday week.

Get washing on as meant to be warm today.  Then get ready to go out as Rose is picking us up to go to lunch then to see Nevil in hospital.  Go to lunch at the Pedal Pusher in Addington.  Very nice food and bar.  Then head to Southern Cross to see Nevil.  Have a yarn for a bit before heading off for home again.  Had a lovely lunchtime – thanks Rose.  Keep up the speedy recovery too Nevil.

Home again to do more washing and other domestic bits.  Feeling quite good considering how I felt first things this morning.  Head off then to meet Craig and the boys at Harringtons for dinner.  Have a fat chat and not really much to eat as the tum is not playing ball with wanting to eat.  Head off home then to get the boys to bed and finish sorting the washing out, and iron Jacobs uniform for the week.  Then blog it, M&D time and bed for some reading I think. Hope all have had a great day and enjoyable weekend.

Kia Kaha.

“It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before… to test your limits… to break through barriers.” – Anais Nin

What a day!  If I knew that I was going to have such a brilliant day then I would like to replay it again soon. It really has been one of pushing myself to new levels – well levels of fitness that I haven’t had since the beginning of March.  Also several people have done their bit to inspire me and give me faith that what I say in the blog does make sense and is helping in ways that I never thought it would.  Lets start it from the beginning.

Woke to Jacob bringing me a cup of tea in bed. I’m aching from top to toe, and really thinking it would be a perfect day to stay in bed and rest.  Motivation is low and so is emotions.  But today is the one day that I can’t slack off.  Energy, aches or pains, I have to suck it up as it is the boys footy prizegiving.  Drag my sorry ass out of bed and hit my meds.  Try to eat some corn flakes – 2 mouthfuls and that’s my limit.  Yep terrible taste in mouth and nausea doing its thing.  Dad turns up to take us out to Halswell. 

First up is Lachie.  The kids start out with a friendly game against each other, then the parents join in for a bit of fun.  Have a great time and a few laughs, even manage to score a goal – great cross Jamie.  Then go to the clubrooms for the prizegivng.  Jacob’s team is next.  This time it is parents vs kids.  No goals, but a buggered ankle thanks to 2 lads tackling me at once.  Still, not giving easy so keep playing.

Next up is the Pinkies vs the Masters div2 team.  Have a fun time playing that game. Jacob and some of the other boys come on for a bit too.  It is all a bit of fun.  Roll my already injured ankle just before the end – so really bloody hurting now!  Take down the goal posts then and head up the clubrooms for a drink.  Have a great time then Craig drops us home.  We pick up Chinese for tea (I know, 2 nights of takeaways, bad parenting!)  stuff it though as I’m stuffed and just not up to cooking tonight.  Manage about 2 mouthfuls again, before quitting.  To all those Halswell players that got awards today – congratulations.  To all the players – well done on your seasons.  To all the coaches and volunteers – thank you for your time (I do know how much time you give up, having done it myself).

Boys fed, watered, showered and in bed by 9.  I’m not going to be to far behind them I think.  It is a real effort to walk up and down the stairs though as my ankle is that bloody sore.  Still a bit of suck it up and I’ll be fine.

So effort wise today I think I have gone beyond what I thought even I could or would manage.  I feel good emotionally now too.  3 footy games – so probably close to 2 hours of running – not a bad effort really.  Absolutely stuffed now, and have tremors that make it incredibly hard to type at times, but that will be just lack of food I would say.  Not to bad an effort on 2 mouthfuls of cornflakes I think.  It was well worth it though as the fun I and the boys had makes every ache and bruise worth it.  It is definitely a Saturday I will remember.  Just so glad I got out of bed this morning.

The other big thing today, as I said, is hearing that what I put in the blog is helpful and it is been read by so many people.  This is at a time when I had been struggling with the blog and wanting to continue with it.  All things happen for a reason and this proves it.  Perfect timing really.  To hear how it helps is encouraging and makes me want to try to share more about how this journey affects me, you and anyone else that I, in some way communicate with, be it through meeting you and talking about it, emailing or just through this blog.  To know that my words that I manage to put down here, are reaching out to people is satisfying.  Just out of interest, last month there were 1275 visitors with 8246 page views – that is not a too bad an effort really.  So to everyone out there, I appreciate the feedback I get.  It really helps me, especially on tough days, and I hope I return the favour in helping you or someone you know on the tough days too.

Rightly folks, I’m sorry but I really am hurting and have a bed with an electric blanket on 3 calling me.  So M&D time – no Milo today though as it tastes yuck!  Hope everyone has had as wonderfully exhausting fun day as I have and made memories as rich as I have.  Till tomorrow – I know I’m going to pay for today big time tomorrow – take care, be safe and have fun – lifes to short to be mad or angry all the time, as I’ve found out.

Kia Kaha.

“The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.” – Unknown

“There are things that we don’t want to happen, but have to accept.  Things we don’t want to know, but have to learn. And people we can’t live without but have to let go.” – Unknown

A full nights sleep – Yay!!  With no noticed waking.  I must be sick!  Or the lavender sleep spray worked.  Get up at 7, but just because I’ve slept through doesn’t mean I am in a brilliant way physically.  Aching from head to toe – fun trying to move properly.  Sue brings me a cuppa tea as I’m a little slow today. Get out of bed and do my little old man impersonation until the joints stretch out enough. Get downstairs and into my meds.  Feeling on a downer again today – figure this must be part of the Chemo ‘hangover’ so to speak, as last round things were fairly similar at this time.  But the good thing is it means I am about to bounce back to have a great week.  Fingers crossed it is tomorrow, as have the boys prize giving plus parents vs kids games and a game for us old folk as well.  If I’m not completely stuff tomorrow night then I’ll be surprised.  But will rally for the boys regardless as Jacob has wanted me to go out to kick a ball all this week but I haven’t had the energy to do that, so promised that I would play against them tomorrow.

Working from home today as Sue is off to Rotorua for Sarah’s 40th birthday bash, and Jacob has a half day at school.  Plus with the way I am feeling probably best for me to stay indoors.  Sue heads off with Roh to the airport.  The boys hit the road to school too.  Home alone.  Check in on work.  Another quietish day.  Having a rough day with nausea and the taste buds playing up on me.  I’m sure it’s a conspiracy against me, to make me starve.  Have a short lay down as fatigue robbing me of energy.  Can’t even keep going through this one.  I know I have said about dishing out my energy in small doses on days like this, but I have that little energy to spare that I can’t really dish it out even – guess it really is a test day as I haven’t been this drained in a long time.  Might be a day for resigning to the fatigue when I need to so I can make it through the day.  Body aching constantly too.  probably not eating really is making it worse on both counts.

Jacob gets home, and I get hit with round two of the fatigue – another lay down – this is a joke.  Manage to force a cup of soup down, though it is not sitting to well.  Jacob takes care of me getting me things and just checking I’m ok.  He is a good lad.  Joh then calls for a quick chat – was nice to hear from you Joh.  Hit then with round three of the fatigue – enough already.  I feel worse each time I get back up, so need to stop this.  Lachlan then gets home.  Fatigue round four hits me – ahh!  Over it now.

Quiet arvo – boys go and play on the tramp for a bit.  Have F&C’s for dinner while watching tv.  Boys go to bed then I do the blog.  Fatigue is trying to fight its way in again – it will not win.  Need to head to bed to rest properly.  Tonight / tomorrow morning is the second anniversary to the day (not the date which is 4th Sept) of the 7.1 quake which started all the shakes in Christchurch.  There has now been nearly 12,000 aftershocks.  That’s a lot of bangs and rattles in 731 days.  Anyhow enough quake facts.  Time to sleep.  Have a lovely day/arvo/evening where ever you are.

Kia Kaha.

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart-broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.” – Unknown

For been really tired, I still didn’t manage to get to sleep until about 1:30.  Then have a rough sleep waking several times.Get up at 6:15 and head down to the gym to try to get myself motivated for the day.  Doesn’t really work either. Flat as a pancake emotionally and mentally today and hurting all over too.  This is tiring in itself so it compounds to the problems.  Also still not eating as feel very nauseous – to the point that I can’t even stomach my morning cuppa tea.  Get on and get ready for work still.

I think some of what is keeping me awake is the prospect of another day approaching that has me wondering how many more are to come.  I know I should worry about it or think of it like that, but is harder to forget or not let it enter your mind than you think.  I get told often to not to think of it like a countdown or it maybe is the last one but again don’t tell me unless you have walked a day in my shoes at times like this.  So thanks for the advice but I don’t need it.  The other thing is the fatigue and nausea taking its toll on me.  It is not nice constantly having a feeling of being unable to eat, and because you’re not eating the body is struggling to function physically, and of course the mental side is also extremely tiring too.  So all in all it is a nasty circle you get in.

Head to the office and a quiet day at work.  My head keeps hurting and fighting fatigue too.  Not really in a good place and probably shouldn’t be at work today.  Oh well I am and get on with it.  Manage to hang in there until 3pm.  Then Sue collects me and takes me home.

Get home and potter round the house.  Hurting in all my joints and so it literally is a potter around as move hurts.  Cook a Madras curry for tea – very nice if I say so myself – even though I can’t really taste it   Time to blog it, while watching tv.  Need to stay awake to be able to watch Mrs Browns Boys!  The only decent program on tv.  WIll do M&D time after Mrs Brown then head for bed to rest my weary, aching, sad ass cancered body to bed.  Just want to sleep tonight, and determined to do what I can to get a full night rested sleep. Have a grand day/arvo/evening all.

Kia Kaha.

“When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.” – Unknown

Another day, same old.  Restless, broken sleep with the usual pains and nausea.  Also feeling on an emotional low today too.  Haven’t been like this for a while but still I guess this is the new norm really, it is following the same pattern as with the last round of treatment. If it follows true to form then next week will improve just in time to start the next round of Chemo.  Oh well I guess I will start to mentally prepare for that round next week, in reality I have got through the last lot better than I thought so are happy. I think the increase in exercise has helped hugely as feel better physically and mentally.  Probably not eating properly due to the nausea is not helping things either as it means I’m tiring more easily.  It is a bit of a vicious circle really in that I can’t eat cause I feel sick, and I am in pain because I need food to keep the body ticking over, and have to eat too so I can take some of my drugs so force feed myself then sit miserably while fighting to keep it down.  Of course then you end up with days like today on an emotional low, but put on a smiley face to the world as you can’t be bothered with the questions – not saying that there will be many but just in case – it’s up with the happy shield. 

Get ready for work and off to the office.  Good day at work, and see a few familiar faces – Gareth Codd, Fred Tullet, and Paul Thompson – from other sites (but have worked with perviously) as they are there for an Editorial meeting.  Great to see them all.  Have Google Apps training too as we are moving to that platform next week.  Walk home at about 2:15.  Probably not the best idea really as I am already hurting and haven’t really eaten anything so running on empty.  Still make it home but absolutely exhausted.

Have a little lay down in the sun and doze off – get woken 2 1/2 hours later, aching all over.  Have a codeine and a couple of Panadol which take some of the edge off but still feel lousy really.  Start on the blog, then some how lose it all – gggrrrr!!! Bloody computers.  Sue and Lachlan head off to watch Sacred Heart (Lachie’s school) compete in the final of the Primary Schools Basketball competition.  Jacob stays home to take care of me.  Have a lovely chat with him about things.  Enjoying having one on one time with the boys when I can, as they are times I have now learnt to value.  Sue and Lachie return, and tell us how exciting the game was with Sacred Heart coming away victorious, winning 17-16.  Congrats to the Sacred Heart team.

Dinner time – well for everyone else.  My stomach is objecting to the thoughts of food so I am delaying having anything still.  Get most of the blog done, again.  This time-saving it as I go – and making sure it is saving this time.  Watch the Block and then some more crappy tv, while checking out the price of cemetery plots.  Hell they are not cheap!!  Decided where I want to have my last piece of land, so going to look at reserving it.  One more thing less to worry about then.  M&D time then off to bed to read – like a naughty child going to bed without dinner as still haven’t eaten.  Even with the arvo nap, I am still very tired.  Take care all.  Catch you tomorrow, hopefully after a better day.

Kia Kaha.

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Restless sleep again, but at least managed to sleep through.  Woke though at 6am so head down to the gym for a spell.  Got to try to keep this fitness thing going as it seems to be working well as not quite as fatigued and feeling better both physically and mentally.  Also seem to be sleeping better too, although I am now on a very low dose of steroids so that will also be helping hugely.  Manage to do 25mins in gym and 20mins on spin bike.  Feel great for it, though I now have a sore head and feel really ill   Cuppa tea doesn’t even go down well, so is tipped out.  Still suck it up and get ready for work. 

Good day at work.  Head to the Ingram Micro Showcase  – IT resellers & vendors touting theirs wears.  Interesting seeing some of the cool new stuff that’s going to be released soon.  Also have a laugh at how Apple is suing Samsung yet if you go into Yoobee or even at the Showcase – the Apple displays all have Samsung TV’s displaying the Apple promotions.  Ironic really.  Get back to work just in time for my ride home. 

Have the interment of Daisy and Eric Adam’s ashes this afternoon so stop by the Party Warehouse to pick up some helium balloons, to release after the little service.  Go then to pick up Lachlan then Jacob.  Head out then to the Yaldhurst Cemetery.  We have a lovely small service there and release the balloons.  I get the shakes (especially on the random left) as I’m placing a flower on the ashes and nearly end up falling into the hole.  That would not have been a good look at all!!  Go to Pam’s then for a cuppa tea – though still not stomaching anything, and head is hurting quite a bit.

Head off then for home and dinner.  Sue heads out to meet Janita for a coffee and a catch up.  I round the boys up and send them to bed – only cause its bed time – actually they take themselves off to bed – good lads. 

Watch some rubbish tv and do some more research about the tumours – though the reading is all fairly much the same.  Due to their rarity, the amount of new or recent info is minimal, and unfortunately they are all bad reading.  But it makes me determined to be a long survivor of them.  I also really have taken the odds to new levels, as most people only have one tumour of this type.  I’ve managed to produce three – and are only one of approx 50 people in the world this year to get these.  It is not always good to be unique as it means it can make it a little to hard to treat.  Oh and to make it worse, the big mofo has grown deep in between two lobes, therefore making it inoperable – well unless I want to risk been paralysed and brain-damaged.  Not even worth considering.  And no, I’m not going to tell you exactly what the tumour type is as I don’t want you to get a shock or worry about what the prognosis is.  All you need to know is that I am doing well with treatment, feeling good in my head, and myself, and are hitting this battle head on.  The mental coping needed is actually more draining than anything, so to have moved to a new phase of dealing with it and accepting that this is the way it will be for the next 6-7 months and I can and will do it and I will learn to plan around the bad days and enjoy and live the good days.  Yes – I am applying my stubborn side to getting through this.  I will not be beaten by the mofo’s – “I will define this cancer, not this cancer define me.”

I do the dishes then get on with the blog.  M&D time as needing more strong pain killers – head and body just aching today along with the nausea.  My first meal of the day was dinner and that was an effort too.  Ironically my stomach hurts from getting food in it.  Bloody hell – really!  Hope all have had a nice day/arvo/evening. 

 Kia Kaha.

“Don’t confuse your path with your destination, just because it’s stormy now, doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.” – Unknown

Yay – a full nights sleep again (well woken a couple of times by pain, but I don’t count those now).  Mind you the theme here for full nights sleep is exhaustion!  I was that knackered after a social Sunday and dealing with the pain in my head (yes dealing with the pain does cause you to wear out more too).  Body has developed a new pain to inflict on me – a cramp on my left lung/chest.  It now takes the gold for pain infliction and length that it lasts for. Head not hurting to bad today – well so far.

The new pain is one of the fun activities that these mofo’s indirectly cause, as be it caused by them directly or any one of the bloody drugs I have to take to try to stop or counter act them it means that every day I have to take a check of myself and the changes that are or have happened overnight.  It gets tiring just doing this.  Check and note pain levels, Wilson changes, energy levels, emotional state, mental state, speech (slurring or fine), etc.  Sounds like I’m almost paranoid but it is more needing to do this for my own sake as I need to know what is happening, as I have little control over these changes.  Also been wondering about how many changes I will under go along the way.  By this I mean will Wilson just fail completely one day – already he is back to the random dropping things again.  Will the random left leg do the same thing too?  Is the constant head pain going to get worse – well I would say yes already to that.

Get ready for work, and head off via Lachies school, and an appointment.  Get into the office a bit later. Busy but steady day.  Head off about 3:30 as wearing down.  Walk home as it is helping to combat the fatigue and also helps with the fitness which in turn helps when it comes to the treatment.  Still learning just how much I can do so it doesn’t mean that I pay the price later or the next day.  Starting to feel good though from the increase in exercise.

Dinner time, then blog and watch some tv.  There is only crap on these days or is it me?  Trust all have had a great day.  M&D time now – head hurting again in waves – get wondering sometimes, as to how much it will really get to hurt yet.  I know I’ve had some screaming headaches, but this is the constant pain that is there now – 24/7.  Sorry it’s short and sweet again but head just not in the place to let much fall out, but in a good place mentally, so I count that as a victory of sorts. Anyhow – till the morrow – take care out there.

Kia Kaha.

“Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but rather by the moments that take our breath away.” – Unknown

Slept through a whole night – OMG!! Mind you, I stayed up and watched the movie Phenomenon until 1:30, and went to bed absolutely shattered.  Trouble is I have woken at 8:15 with a head hurting that bad that it is about a 7-8 peaking to 8-9 on pain levels.  Quickly (well as quickly as can be done) down 3 lots of pain killers – I will not let this get me a free stay in hospital.  Have a busy day planned too so need to sort myself out anyway.  Pain killers take their sweet time working, and the pain is that bad that I am struggling not to vomit   Need to keep things down so I the drugs can work.  The only thing I can remember thinking about in my sleep was getting another tattoo – I don’t know where or what of.

I have always liked the movie Phenomenon, it’s the one with John Travolta about the guy that has a brain tumour and takes on special qualities – like speed reading, photographic memory, physic tendencies, etc.  Funny thing is it never affected me watching it.  This time I am in tears as it is very close to the heart this time, esp. when he gets the diagnosis near the end of the movie.  The type of tumour they say he has is very close in type to what I have so it makes it very real.  Strange in away really to have such a connection to a movie.  Just wish I could have taken on the extra abilities he has

Drag myself up about 9:15 then and get myself ready to face the day.  It is going to be a long trawl today.  Pain is starting to ease a bit and is now to a 4-5 level.  Feel groggy though thanks to the amount of pain killers.  Tex and Jules arrive to collect Jake and Jess.  We all head off then to the Crafted Coffee Company for brunch.  Have a lovely breakfast of scrambled eggs & bacon.  And of course the company was wonderful too.

Head to The Warehouse then for Jacob and run into Matt & Lisa and the kids.  They are coming over later on for a visit anyway.  Have quick chat then on our way home, via Number 1 shoes for Jacob again.  Get home then and G, Lisa and boys arrive.  Have a good catch up.  Matt & Lisa then turn up as well (all planned), and they get a nice surprise to find G & Lisa here too.  More catching up to be done.  I fight the fatigue bug that’s trying to make me sleep – and mange to ward it off.  Matt & Lisa then head off as they have a 21st to go too.  G & Lisa then head off too.  Fantastic to see everyone, and have a good catchup.  A very social day really.

Fire up the BBQ for tea – is it the last time for winter or the first time for the coming spring?  Lamb chops and cheese snarlers for tea – yum.  Only manage to eat a bit of tea as feeling quiet nauseous – but at least its something.  Fun game now is keeping it down.  This whole vomit thing (sorry to talk about it) is new, and is different from nausea (the feeling of wanting to be sick).  The anti-nausea drugs are not really cutting it so to speak.

That’s about the sum total of todays activities and pain.  Head starting to hurt more again, along with the whole, body aches Going to hold off more drugs as long as I can so I can get another full sleep, and hopefully shake this head pain. 

Hope all have had a wonderful weekend and are all safe and well.  To all those I have caught up with – thank you and it was great.  To those I haven’t seen – I know you’re out there – we will catch up sometime soon.

Kia Kaha.