3 Too Many

“Everything you can imagine is real.”  ― Pablo Picasso

 Yes!!! – Sleep, well close to 5 1/2 hours of it anyway.  Strangely I am not feeling overly tired or exhausted as I would’ve expected.  Body in not to bad a way either so head down stairs at 6:30 to take meds and do some time on the spin bike.  May as well utilise my time.  Have a great session then get ready to face the day.  Nausea is present again but at a lower level than normal, so just have a liquid meal for breakfast. Head off to work, and the happy faces of my colleagues.

Feeling a bit out of sorts today, as in very tremory, and not in a good head space.  Still won’t complain as I am coping well with it all.  I am also mulling over again the reason of what is it that I am to learn from what is happening to me?  Or is more over what others can learn.  I know I should just let it go but it really is bugging me.  I am still a firm believer that things happen for a reason and that there is lessons to be learnt from everything.  Also what is it with this thinking about what is going to happen in the end.  The only thing that I can put it down to is that it is 2 weeks until I am due to start the next Chemo round, and I am starting to get mentally prepared for doing it.  Silly really isn’t it?, that you have to mentally prepare to take the one thing that is holding these things at bay.  Ironic too that you have to punish yourself and make your self ill to try to feel better.  It’s just not rational really.  Only 10 days more Chemo to face then into the abiss!  Well that is 10 days if they can get their stuff sorted out around my appointments!  They are still messed up – ggrrr!!

I have lost control of my body temperature – well not lost control more so, the mofo’s have control of it.  They are like lousy flatmates – one wants it roasting hot, the other freezing cold.  When it’s hot I’m cold, then visa versa.  Then when I get just right – wham.  It is a side effect of the tumours – the big one I suspect, as everything is his fault.  But really he is sitting between the parietal and frontal lobes on the right hand side of my brain, and in this area is many lovely things controlling me that it can just delightfully mess with at free will.  But I am not about to rollover and let this happen so I’ve got to find a away of counteracting the effects – any suggestions??  No one?  Really – surely someone reads this that has an idea of something I could try.  And don’t say layer your clothes- cause I already do.  I walked to work this morning in a shirt and jeans with a windchill of 2 degrees and broke into a sweat!  But last weekend it was 20 degrees and I was working in the sun and put on trackpants and a fleecy top.   Basically I’m screwed!  Oh well.

 There is so much spinning around my head at the moment that I can’t logically get it all out.  Hell this is annoying.  So much to say but where and how too begin.  Grab life by two hands and run with it, cause if you don’t do it then time will sure as hell do it.

Steady day at work, and managed to eat some lunch which is a bonus.  Head off just after 1:15 as I have a specialist appointment at 2pm.  The appointment goes well – though long 1 1/2 hours.  Head home then to collect the boys, and head to Barrington to pick up a script.  Quick easy dinner of roast chicken, bread rolls and salad.  Quiet evening in then writing the blog and watching TV.  Hope all have had a wonderful day and relaxing evening.  Thinking of running a hot bath now as aching all over and need to relax.  Really I’ll just turn on the electric blanket to 3 and melt in bed for a bit before deciding to turn it off just before I combust.  Just had our second rumbler pass through in the past 3 hours so might be in for a shakey night – sweet (I know I shouldn’t say that, but quakes don’t really worry me).   Take care out there.

Kia Kaha.

“All of life is a coming home.” – Hunter ‘Patch’ Adams

Did anyone notice that I had put Sunday 22 October on last nights blog?  To late to check now as I have fixed it.  Finally got to sleep about 3:15am.  Back and stomach pain eased after about 2 hours.  But spent a lot of the waking time deep in thought.  It decided that I may as well utilise the time constructively.  Anyway woke just after 7am, had meds then headed back to bed.  Sue brought me a cup of tea.  Then sat reading until about 10am.  Couldn’t go back to sleep – as wide awake.  It’s like I have now gone the full circle as I was having a bad sleep pattern 7 months ago when all this started.  But for the lack of sleep I feel good.  Mood today – mellow(ish). Pain – head about a 3-4, body 5.  Waking up most mornings is like waking with either a hangover (some mild some bad) or going back to when I was young – I was once – where you had a bit of a set to after a few drinks with some one and were sore all over with a hangover (OK some might not be able to relate to that comparison, but get the idea that you are very sore all over with a thumping head and a nauseous feeling).  Have a talk about my thinking from last night with Sue and how my mood has been as well and the hell I’ve inflicted on the family over this time.  Eventually get up.  No appetite this morning so just have another coffee. 

Nutty, Fridge, Alex, Jasmine and Mitchell turn up to pick up Tyler who stayed last night.  Have a coffee and a yarn.  Get readyfor the day then.  Head off to the shops to pick up some essentials – stick Whiz (for making my liquid breakfasts), some asian food items, and the medicinal Jim Beam Black   Home then have lunch and light the fire as it is bloody cold and raining.  Watch Patch Adams – great movie, and just chill out for a few hours.  Then do a quick housework blitz.  Get started on the blog early tonight seen as it’s a school night and I don’t want you folks up to late waiting for the ramble.  Not feeling overly hungry again so don’t have dinner – just a liquid meal – new whiz stick is great!  I’m now down to 83kgs and still loosing it.  Got to watch the weight now that I don’t get to low.  Sit down and watch TV – crap, crap and more crap – and feel tired.  Maybe that’s what I need to do – watch TV then go to bed while I’m tired and bored.

My thoughts in the night – it was about how well I am apparently doing with the treatment.  As I have 1) never had brain tumours before, 2) done chemo therapy before 3) know someone else that has or is doing the same cancer treatment as me I can’t put myself into a mind set that I am doing well.  There are days that are hard – really hard – but unless you’ve experienced it or similar treatment or experience, then it is not something that you can describe what it is like.  It is not comparable with anything I’ve ever had in my life.  You can’t plan days really as there could be a change in your body with in an hour that will mean that your day is brilliant then or crappy, as the saying goes “We all have shit happen in our lives, but it is just how bigger smile we have that hides it”. 

Also something else that I was thinking about is death – yes funny that I should think about it (not to often or in a morbid way), but death.  Lets be honest – we are all going to experience it.  Just some sooner than others.  Some people fera it, the mere though of it or talking about it makes them uncomfortable, but I have always accepted it as a part of life.  Yes it is sad, very sad, when someone dies,  but always think  of that person as they were to you.  Memories carry the emotions of our life.  People come and go too but it doesn’t mean they are gone forever.  I can say categorically now that my funeral will nt be a morbid affair (or I’ll come back to haunt you!).  It is to be a celebration of my life (or as Sue says lives depending what emotional island I am on ;-)).  I am hear.  I have impacted on peoples lives.  I pissed people off (sometimes to often).  I have loved.  I have seen the miracle and  beauty of life starting and the sadness of it ending.  But most of all I have lived a life, my life, according to how and who I am.  So there you have it –  a bit of the insight from what goes through my overfull brain in the night. 

M&D time then and another vain attempt at trying to get some sleep – what a bloody joke.  Still waiting to hear about my next chemo treatment date as heard from the Doc on Saturday who said that the dates are still the same, even though I got a notice saying they had changed. Just whe the public health system was going so well, their first slip up.  Trust it has being a good day for all, and if you’ve been working or playing that has been a good one.  Take care, I want you back to read more tomorrow – that’s presuming that anyone actually does read this stuff.

Kia Kaha.

“Our strength often increases proportional to the obstacles imposed upon it” – Paul De Rapin

3 hours sleep. That’s all the body could muster! 3 lousy hours. If I was buying sleep then it would be getting returned for a refund. A wee bit sore this morning but all in all not to bad considering how busy day yesterday was. I get up take meds and a cuppa then busy myself until a respectable hour for starting power tools arrives. The neighbours would not be happy with me starting a chainsaw at 8am. The joy of living in suburbia. The mood today is mellowish which is a nice change for me even from the last couple of days. I guess that mood swings and bad days are just part of the life now.

10:20 rolls around and I start the chainsaw. Drop a tree and nearmyself in single blow. It fell unexpectedly and it caught me just as I shut the saw off. Close call. I picked myself up off the ground – it had knocked me off the ladder too – dust myself down. Do a quick roll call of limbs and digits – all present and correct so back to the cutting. Bugger me if the same thing didn’t happen again about 10 mins later. Thankfully this was the last branch to come down so no more saws. Out then with the leaf vac. Jacob takes over that job and I go and teach Lachie to mow the lawns. Good training ground for the boys. Jacob then cleans the car with the water blaster – more power tools! Got to have the toys

Head to the dump then to Dad’s to drop off the ute. This driving business is becoming a habit. Back home clean up and head out to get a new kettle. Stop by to see Nutty and Fridge. Have a beer and a chat then head for home with Tyler in tow to have a sleep over. BBQ for tea. The brilliant 25 degree day has given way to cold crap now. Have tea, then promptly surcome to fatigue. 2 hours later I wake up. Head upstairs to bed and to do the blog. Bloody head is thumping away now too so take the strong meds to try to quiet the pain down.

I really hope that I can have a decent sleep tonight. Please may I be granted a full 8 hours un-interrrupted sleep. You know what will happen now though – a bloody quake will roll through to wake me. Hope that all have indulged in a lovely Sunday and if you’re in NZ you have a lovely day off. M&D time now and Murhphies Law – I’ve woken up again now. Shit, shit, buggery bollocks. And I have real pain in my waist area – ouch!! Till tomorr, take care and be good.,

Kia Kaha.

“When it comes to life, the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” – Gilbert Chesterton

Please excuse the lateness of this episode of Tonys sucky battle with cancer! Well fiesty from yesterday has turned asshole today. Don’t know if its the weather or lack of sleep or just the other side of me that I’ve been suppressing, breaking free. Either way not a day for tolerating fools. Stuff all sleep last night and what sleep I did manage was not really restful. Wake with the usual grumbles and curses – pain here, pain there, pain every bloody where!  Head off to make a cuppa and indulge in my morning consumption of  8 pills! Thats just to kick start my day so I can function.  Take te drink back to bed so I can stay warm and read the news and emails. Jacob comes and climbs into bed as well.  Then Lachlan does too, and finally the cat. Give up and head down to help do some gardening.

Fantastic sunny day and Sue is already out working. Dad calls and we yarn for a bit about a couple of things on the go. Decide if I’m gardening then its going to involve power tools! Dad comes and gets me and I drive the ute back to home as we’ll need it. Yes – I drove. Eeeww naughty I know, but f it! And no rightous comments from the cheap seats. Get home after informing several people of their lack of driving abilities , and demonstrating to pimple face git that yes V8’s are loud and fast and dispose of shitty little riceburners very easily. Would’ve been more fun if I had the Typhoon.  See not in a will play nicely mood.

First power tool up – scrubcutter. Attack the hedge on the drive happily. Job done. Next chainsaw. Attack under supervision the trees along the driveway. Two hours later stop attacking trees and have lunch.  Power tools are a great outlet for anger aren’t they? Load the ute up and head to the dump with the first of 2 loads. Have fun again driving and enjoying the feeling of freedom. Oh and winding up the other drivers Clean up outside and yes another power tool – leaf blower/vacumm. Jacob takes over then as got to share the power!

Get cleaned up and head over to Roh and Andys for dinner and to watch the rugby. Have a lovely evening watching sport, chatting, eating an awesome dinner and having a couple of Bourbons.  Thanks for the lovely evening guys helped wth the mood briefly. And thanks for calling Scotty. Walk home about 1am. Do M&D time – then try to go to sleep. Still awake at 2:30 so decide to do the blog. So sorry its late publishng tonight but I don’t expect you to understand really – well actually I do take your worst day multiply it then trow in a sore head that is peeing you off as it won’t stop, and pain all over that is just crappy – even my little fingers hurt. Sick of it today.  Hope all have had an brilliant day and enjoyable evening.

Kia Kaha.

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours, it is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” – Unknown

Quick blog tonight as not in the mood to do it (in a feisty mood unfortunately which doesn’t bode well for wanting to do anything, especially writing, but cause trouble), and other things going on. 

Slept last night, which was just great, but woke up feeling exhausted – bugger it.  Head is sore today too, but nothing that meds can’t/won’t take care of.  Good day at work, though head and fatigue pay a visit and head off about 1:30 as shattered (was falling asleep in the cafe at lunch time).  Boys get home and Lachlan goes to play indoor footy – has a good game too.

Average night.  Head hurting – check.  Stomach and back hurting – check.  Nauseous – check.  Had enough of this shitty way of surviving – check.  Jacob bakes a loaf of bread from scratch – impressive job.  The only thing is he started making it at 9pm.  It nearly cooked now and smells good.  Won’t complain or discourage his cooking as it is a good life skill for him.  M&D time.  Hope all have had a non-feisty day ;-).  Thanks for the messages too – they do help me get through some days, and nice to know you all care.

Kia Kaha.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

About 2 hours sleep and feeling very emotionally beaten today.  I have spent the night awake, and working through so many things in my head that I am emotionally exhausted.  That makes about 4 hours odd sleep in 2 days now – its getting beyond a joke!  Last night though was not due to the bloody arm twitching and jerking again – well it still did but not as bad.  I was just outright awake!  Went downstairs about 2:30 to make a Milo and took half a sleeping tablet out of desperation.  Was still wide awake at 3 so did some paper work and headed back to bed about 4:45. Yay managed nearly 2 hours sleep – and of course woke feeling groggy.  Drag (and I really mean drag) myself out of bed – would have been easy to have it flagged as a medical needs day, but I need to keep going with routine so as not to let – ha-ha – my body clock get all screwed up and out of whack.  Take my meds as hurting still, but no nausea – yippee another day at the moment yuck feeling free.  Even have a small brekkie again – I know bad habit I am forming with all this eating

Get into work and have a brilliant busy day with my colleagues.  Thanks to them they made what I could have let become a miserable self mulling sad day, into a fun time.  It helped greatly save me from myself, so thanks guys.  It also was busy so the day flew past quickly.  Sue collects me about 2pm and we stop by the Chemist to collect another script.  I’m going to rattle soon!  Get home to find a letter from my Chemo Doc that says they have pushed my treatment out by another 9 days.  Not happy so waiting to hear back from them as to why, etc.  I know people would go big deal, its only an appointment, but they have the treatment plan set to a schedule so that you get the maximum effect from it, and for it to change by 15 days all up (which is half the treatment cycle) is not good, especially without it even been discussed with you.  So I now wait for her to get back to me.  Login to do some more work for a bit.  Feeling tired but not going to give in.  Hang the washing out for the third time!!!  Bloody weather – make up your mind.  One minute peeing down, next sunny and warm again.  It’s nearly dry so I will play one more round with you weather gods and I will win.  Great more black clouds rolling in and not just over me :-{

What the hell is with this non-sleeping business. I mean I am tired, I go to bed, start drifting off then, wham brain is in gear and just not letting me go to sleep.  What is it that I have to learn or understand from staying awake?  While I say I am emotionally beaten, it is because of a lot of things that I have been thinking about in the waking small hours causes me emotional turmoil, in that it is reality, and in the future.  We can’t direct our fate but we can control our destiny.  I have done my best to not let myself be dragged down to the dark places this time and try to stay positive with it all.  Still it does stop the tears from flowing, mainly in the shower for some reason.  But you just feel at times that everything has just dropped from you – mentally, emotionally, etc.  You then pick yourself up again and fight on some more.  The letter delaying treatment possibly also hit hard as I have to work to get myself in a focused state to take on the treatment and if I have a set date to work on then I know how I am tracking and if I am read for it.  So many people have said that I am doing so well.  But really how am I meant to be?  I feel confused about that comment, as I am doing what I can to keep normal, stay fit , and stay fighting and well, be well.  What you do see is the real pain that is some days eating me, and while I may say it, it is not something that can be described.  And also the fog that comes over you mentally, and emotionally.  The wanting to tell the world and everything in it to be quiet as you can’t handle noise.  The stress that you deal with trying to make sure you don’t show anything but the you that the world knows.  As Sue would say, I need just some time on one of my life islands (apparently I live my life with everything separated onto literal islands so that there is no cross over between them, that way I have control) to be whatever me I want to be.

Have a small dinner and do the blog.  sort out Jacob’s cellphone then head to bed to read with a Milo – that is sure to put me to sleep.  Hope you’ve all had a decent sleep and had a great day.  Till tomorrow, take care and keep cool till after school.

Kia Kaha.

“Having a brain tumor – It grants us the truth & crystallises the knowledge of what is truly important in life” ― Rachel Grady

I won’t even joke about the lack of sleep I’ve had, as it was actually a disturbing night for me and has left me a little rattled mentally and watching myself physically a lot more.  I will explain.  Didn’t get to bed early as planned as stayed up and configured the new Wireless modem, tightened the security and got all the wireless devices connected to it.  We have 17 devices connecting via WiFi – how many radio waves are flying around this place?  No comments either about them causing cancer   Anyhow back to the hell of what is last nights sleep.  I woke about 12:45 as I was trying to pull the blankets up a bit, but Wilson – yes he has to be the start of this (typical hogging the limelight) – would react as I was telling him too.  In fact my all he would do is a random twitch and jolt.  It was like it was not getting the right messages through from the brain.  Instant thought is OH F*#K!!!  Then it was no I’m just imagining it.  Nope go to turn to sit up and leg does similar and Wilson does eventually do want he is asked to by helping me up.  I’m also sweating like mad too.  That is another thing – I can’t control my body temperature correctly – but that’s a story for another day.  Sit on the side of the bed not knowing what the hell is going on as I feel a bit vague (well vaguer than normal).  Get a drink and decide that it was just a one off.  Back to bed.  Settle down, then awake again at about 1:30 – same thing.  Turn over and try to sleep.  Spent the rest of the night waking myself with about 3-4 hours of random twitching and jolts. 

Give in and get up just after 5am.  Head downstairs and stand in the kitchen watching Wilson and the random left (leg) doing just random movements.  In one way it is funny to watch as your limbs, jerk, jolt and shudder without you being able to control them or axctually tell them to do things you want.  On the reality side of it, it is frightening, as your control of yourself is gone.  I was still able to walk and use Wilson but I had to seriously think about it and concerntrate on making sure the movement was complete – in other words that if I took a step my foot was down solidly before taking the next step.  Took all my morning meds as my body was starting to ache a lot as well, and stood there thinking about what to do.  Do I take a trip to the hospital?  Do I just call and tell them what’s happening?  It is only about 5:45 by now so no one really is going to be around.  Decide to sit tight as feeling more in control standing up and moving around.  Go and check emails – but can’t concentrate enough to really read or understand what is in them so flag that and go get in my gym gear.  May as well do something.  Have a good workout, though it was tricky at times trying to ensure that Wilson was going to pull his fair share of the weights.  Then do a spell on the spin bike as well.  It was actually probably good to do it really as it gave me time to to think about what had happened.  And got me thinking a whole lot deeper too.

From what I understand about how brain tumours (like I have) take you down in the end is a bit different to how other cancers of the body take you down.  With most body cancers the tumours and spread are based around in most cases organs that Doctors can easily monitor and note how the patient is responding and can estimate what will happen next and how long possibly it will be till their fight is lost.  With brain cancer, it is noted that while patients start to wind down a bit, they are still doing normal activities and behaviours and functioning as normal.  Then without warning they usually seizure and go into a coma.  This is because with the brain controlling all functions of the body, it is not always a slow wind down of sorts, more a switch off of motor function, etc.  It is from here that a lot of people do not come back out of the coma – so no goodbyes, last kisses, hugs, talks, etc.  Just managed care as I wind down.  Just because I can’t respond though doesn’t mean that I don’t know you’re there so please still act as normal with me – just you’ll be able to get a word in edgewise   But alas, I am still here, very much un-comatose (unless I drink myself there).  But that is what I was thinking about while I was working out.  Of course it got deeper but we won’t go there.

Got on with and ready to face the day. Nausea level is way down today – yay, something had to go my way after having no sleep and getting rattled.  Had a bagel for brekkie even.  Headed to work via Lachies school.  Nice walk into to the office from Latimer Square, as it is a Nor’Wester today and already nearly 18 degrees.  Steadyu day at work, but spend a lot of time watching what my body is doing.  Restrain Wilson a couple of times as he is trying to be erratic, and the office is not the place for random behaviour – Oh wait yes it is   Have a small lunch, but 2 meals down.  Keep on top of my drugs though today.  Sue collects me about 1:15 and we head home.  Bloody hot – 24 degrees.  Login to work, but are hurting quite a bit so go and have a lay down.  Surprisingly I don’t fall asleep.  Boys get home and get themselves de-schooled and have afternoon tea and do homework.  About 5pm we head off to walk the dog as it is such a lovely evening.  Slow 4km walk as my back and stomach are hurting like hell.  Still grit my teeth and keep going.  Has to be done.  It would hurt if I sit down too so may as well be moving.

Get home and have tea – record – 3 meals, decent amount anyway – in a day.  Melissa and Jake drop by to drop off some baking and have a yarn.  Thank you so much.  Sit down and do the blog, and watch TV.  Tonight will be an early night!!  I am starting to feel absolutely shattered.  Still trying to control the rogue Wilson and random left, and I am hoping that I won’t have to fight them through the night again.  Fingers crossed.  Hope you’ve had a brilliant sunny Wednesday and are looking forward to the downhill run to (if you’re in NZ this is) the long weekend.  Take care, have fun.  Thinking of you all.  W&D time and sleep.

Kia Kaha.

“I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” ― Jimi Hendrix

Oh I want to just sleep.  Today I could sleep in, yesterday on my day off I couldn’t – bloody typical.   Lay in until 7:30 then decide that really need to get up and get ready for work.  Still day 4 after Chemo and still rocking on well, with very little issues compared to just before Chemo.  Body pain, head pain are there, but at a low level so as to not cause to much grief.  Still head down and take my morning cocktail, then get ready for the day.  Call Dad to come and take Jacob to school, as he has slept in to, in fact we all have – doh!

Jacob off, we head off, via Lachies school, then drop me at Latimer Square.  Walk up to work, cursing the wankers in cars doing every speed except 30KM per hour, then doing their dickhead best to ignore signs  saying road closed and just randomly driving through intersections with the presumption that they are clear and no regard for other road users.  This is the Christchurch roads through the CBD – the sections maybe clear but there are pockets of life, so instead of demonstrating your abilities to be a complete gimp slow down, if yuo want to sight see – stop! For goodness sake pull over where safe and stop.  The middle of the road is not a parking area either.  And neither is the pedestrian safety barriers.  There my rant out – I do feel better for it now.  Someone will be injured or killed soon by these drivers.

Nice to be back at the office, with the colleagues.  Have a quiet steady day.  Noticing that some days it is harder to remember things than others, which gets frustrating.  Also the nausea is not brilliant today either.  I eat a savoury muffin, and feel yuck for doing so.  Still food so it counts.  I have some of my extra special anti-nausea drugs (yes more drugs I hear you say).  They seem to work better than just the other ones I am on.  Sue collects me about 1:15 and we head off via Westfield Riccarton quickly.  I give in to my want for KFC Hot and Spicey chicken, and induldge in some.  It has been months since I have had KFC.  While I sort of enjoy it – the taste is very odd indeed – I pay for it by spending the rest of the arvo feeling yucky.   

Get home and login to work for a bit.  Feeling fatigued though, so have a lay down.  The boys arrived home.  I don’t sleep but just rest.  Sue heads off for a hair cut and I get dinner ready.  Make an awesome Thai Green curry chicken.  I manage to eat soem more, so all in all it is a really good eating day.  Even with the nausea.  It seems that these new pills are working ok.  Sit down to do the blog and just relax.  The body pains are coming back and increasing too.  Pain killer time, I think, and maybe a soak in a hot bath.  Then watch tv, readbook and sleep.

Trust all have had a great day and everything is going swimmingly for you.  W&D time here about 10 tonight.  I can’t drink hot drinks anymore as they taste fowl.  Have a grand evening/arvo/day all.  Sorry, short and sweet today again – not feeling overly impsired much at the moment and concentrating on my health more, which is what I need to do.  Helps to understand how I’m trackingreally.  Sayuing that I now have stabbing pains in my right side and tingling in Wilson – so signing off.

Kia Kaha.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
― Albert Einstein

Happy Birthday Sarah – little Sis

A day off work, and no sleep in – up at 7am.  Got to keep routine.  Not feeling to bad again today.  Pains and aches are low so that is a good thing.  Downstairs to make a cuppa tea, take meds and check emails.  Get ready to face the day then and say bye to the family as they head to work and school.  Sit down to trawl through emails –  amazing how many stack up over a weekend! 

Put a load of washing on, fold some other dry stuff, you know the common domestic stuff.  Then walk up to the garage up the road to collect Bessie (the VW Beetle) as she went to get a WoF on Saturday and packed a sad (as 41 year old cars do occasionally) and refused to start.  Nausea is starting to hit in waves today, and unfortunately in a terrible look of a drunk on a Saturday night I had a little spit on the side of the road.  Sorry I couldn’t help it.  And it was in the gutter between two parked cars and only little.  It’s not my usual behaviour. Get to the garage and have a yarn to the guy that works there.  He gives me a set of jumper leads and a battery to try to start her.  I don’t use them as a few subtle words about her pedigree and a turn of the key and she fires up and keeps running.  Take the jumpers and the battery back to the guy and he is surprised.  He puts it down to the knack  – I still am a firm believer that it is what you tell the car that makes them start   Anyway, drive her home – I know naughty eh – it is only 2kms and a straight road.  She doesn’t miss a beat.  Get home and into the garage.  Not working on her today, as not in the frame of mind. 

Decide while the weather is okish, and I enjoyed the walk, (apart from the interlude, and that has settled again),  that I’ll walk up to the chemist and supermarket to get repeats for my drugs, drop off some I don’t use, and maybe attempt to pick out some food for lunch.  Get some stuff and my scripts and have a lovely 4km return walk.  The nausea almost does it’s thing again, but I managed to restrain the ejection this time.  Get home and take some of my really strong anti-nausea drug.  Make a bagel with tomato and honey smoked chicken on it – I can almost taste it – almost!  The last mouth full was a struggle but at least it is some food.   Sue arrives home and has some lunch then we head off to Moffats Flowers to get a bunch for Sarah’s birthday. 

Jacob calls saying that he can’t get across the motorway road works as they have the normal paths blocked off.  We leave Moffatts to go and rescue him.  Find him and check that he is telling us the truth, which he was, and head home.  Sue calls Fulton Hogan (who are doing the road works) and tell them whats happened.  They are going to investigate and make sure it is not blocked again.  The only option for him to get across was to g alongside the 2 new roundabouts sectioned with cones that cars take at speed.  Not an option for our lad thanks.  Pat on the back for the lad in sitting tight and calling for advice/help.  The Chorus man arrives to cut us over to Telecom (btw – phone number hasn’t changed).  Then head over to Sarah and Richards to have dinner with them.

Have a lovely evening with Sis and Rich and Majenta (Jayden is out at youth group).  Have great yarns about things.  All are looking really good.  Sorry for dozing off guys – I really can’t help it sometimes.  Head home about 9 as the boys need to get some sleep as they have school tomorrow.  Boys in bed, I feel nauseous and do the blog.  Watch a little TV then meds and bed.  No Milo as I can’t stand the taste of it so water tonight.  I guess that make it W&D time now!  Trust all have had a fun Monday and made it through the start of the week.  Ready for tantalising Tuesday.  Take care all.

Kia Kaha.

“It’s crazy how you can go months or years without talking to someone but they still cross your mind everyday.” – Unknown

 Following on from the brief blog yesterday, I explain more of how the the Masters and the weekend went.

One word for Saturday – Freezing!!!  The high while on tv said it got to 10 – is wrong.  It would have been lucky to have to have got above 5 with a wind chill of minus 2-3 would be fair summary.  Howling freezing southerly and pouring rain. Craig collects me about 7:30 and we (Craig, Steve and I) head for Timaru.  

Played half the first game before the nausea feeling makes me stop.  A real bastard actually as I am feeling fairly good considering I only did my last Chemo dose on Friday night.  Anyway we won  the first game 4-1 .  It was a very good game and nice to come away with a win. 

We put up the marque and put the BBQ on after the first game to cook some food to warm up.  It has been many years since I have been this cold.  Hands and feet are numb.  We leave the BBQ going to warm up the marque and there were about 20 guys huddled under it to keep warm.  Even some players from other team were stopping in.  Thawed out enough to play the second game – well start it.  Again I only last the first half as the nausea is starting to get to the vomit point.  Bugger, bugger, buggery!!  Another good game and we win  3-0. 

Craig and I decide to head off to the motel (the others are staying at the Motor Camp in bunk rooms and I didn’t think that I could cope with that so booked a motel).  Nice room – heater, hot shower with unlimited hot water, laundry to dry our clothes in, and 2 very comfortable single beds.  Dry out properly, dry our clothes, hot showers and defrost – awesome!  Head back to the park to play the last game of the day.  Envy of the others who are trying to dry their kit a bit over the BBQ and the marque looks very much like a Chinese Laundry.  Go out and play – swear it has gotten colder.  Good game but unfortunately we go down 2-0.  But I managed to last the whole game.

Pack up the marque and BBQ and ourselves, and head back to the Motel.  They kindly let us use their commercial laundry to wash the football strip when Fish arrives with it.  We put all our washing through to start with.  Thaw out again with another shower and a cold beer (ironically).  Then go and get some cheese, crackers, potato chips, and cashew and peanuts and lay back basking in the warmth of the motel room, watching TV and reading the paper.  Fish comes over to drop off the strip.  We then head off to Robbies to have dinner and a drink.  Manage to eat a wee bit of a Thai Green Curry Shrimps, but can’t really handle all of it.  At least the nausea has eased up a bit.  And only drinking raspberry and cokes too.  Watch the league test then head back to the motel.  Put the footy strip through the drier and watch a bizarre movie on TV, fold our first load of washing and play a game on my phone while waiting for it to dry.  Go and get the second load of washing and fold that too.  Watch a bit more of the movie, and finally get to sleep about 2am.  Craig is happily snoring away.

Wake up Sunday morning and it is lovely and sunny with not a cloud in the sky.  Get up and notice that I am suffering very little pain.  Craig jokes that it is probably due to the 8 hour ice pack we put up with yesterday.  I get ready for the day.  Put my kit on ready and in comfort. Load the ute up and head to the park.  Breakfast is a BBQ today.  My nausea levels are very low to so I actually feel like eating something. 

We head out to play our first game of the day against our old nemesis club – Nomads.  They are a good bunch of guys and we have a good hard game, but unfortunately come away loosing 3-0. Bugger it.  This does nothing to help our medal chances, in fact it totally makes it impossible to get one.  I manage to play the whole game.  The nausea tries it’s thing to spoil the day again, but I kept going instead.  Still physically feeling really brilliant.

Head back over to where we’ve setup camp and have something to eat and drink.  The next game is in an hour and a half.  Chat away and have a few laughs about the weekend and the games.  then out to play the last game, against Vine Works Marlborough.  They present us with a bottle of Marlborough Pinot Noir, which is very kind ( and the first real attempt by a team to buy a win – joking).  It is a very nice gesture.  The game is a good one, which we win 2-1.  Not to bad a result for the Masters for us – 3 wins/2 losses.  I only manage just over half the second match, having to stop this time not for nausea but for head pains.  Tried to keep going but stabbing pains raging thru your head doesn’t make much for trying to concentrate in a game. 

Have another small bite to eat.  The guys present me with the botle of wine from the last team.  I then go for a shower.  And see Paul Williamson from work in there.  He used to play for the Waimak team and has recently moved to Invercargill with work.  We have a chat about thinsg and how life is going.  Then head off back to the ute and help to get it loaded up.  Say our good byes to the others then hit the road back to Christchurch via Pleasant Point to get some honey.  I sleep most of the way home, only waking at Ashburton to get an ice cream, then as we arrive in Hornby.  Drop Steve off then me.  Craig comes in for a chat and a drink then heads off.

Nice to be home again.  Find out that Sue and the boys have posted a picture on the blog of the boys last night, showing their support for the team.  Nice going guys – love it!

Skip tea as appetite has gone west again.  Start doing the blog – but keep nodding off to sleep.  Not very helpful really.  Manage to keep awake and get it done – all bit very late – sorry.  But all in all – had a great weekend, and really hope that it is not my last Masters trip, but I guess time will tell if that is the case.  Hope all have stayed warm and dry and had a totally enjoyable weekend like I have.  The best bit is I have tomorrow off so might enjoy a sleep in – yeah right!!  Have a great Monday all.

Back Row – Craig, Fridge, Shane, Wooly, Nick, Johnny B, Cappy, Brendan, Steve
Front Row – Steve, Fish, Me, Hoey, Aubery, Tony

Kia Kaha.