3 Too Many

“When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane” – Anonymous

Guess what – another crappy sleep.  No surprises there though as it is all part of the Chemo hangover.  I was going to actually do a special blog at 1:30 this morning just to let all the stuff fall out and let you see what is going through the brain at that hour.  Believe me, there is a huge amount.  I’m even back to basically living through the basic bits of a day by going through processes such as making a cup of tea.  Sad really that I have such things waking me and stealing away my resting hours.  There is also some other things processing too, but they won’t be mentioned as the blog is not a place for the dark places to be brought out.  But there is also good things like planning how I will be using my “bucket of energy” tomorrow.

This plan to use energy in this way has come from a suggestion to try breaking the day into blocks based on things I have to do and knowing when I have down time too.  I actually went further and researched this suggestion.  It turns out that in the UK they are using the idea of dealing and coping with fatigue in the same way.  They tell you to visualise that you start the day with a bucket that contains your energy for the day – as if it is water. You know the key things you have to do during the day – could be work, appointments, treatment or the likes.  So you need to allow that you will be taking energy out of the bucket for these things. You will then be left with a bit that you will need to just do the basics and the remainder is free to use.  Now I know this is not everyone’s way of trying to do this or even to be able to properly understand what I’m on about but I have now settled into a routine of dealing with days like this and it seems to be working for me.  Though you have to accept too, that there are days like Monday, where you just kick the bucket over as its to damn hard.  I have now learnt too that I can’t just do that.  We all have bad days – just I have rotten bad days especially when I have a Chemo hangover.

Into the day.  Off to the office again, and have a good day lasting through until about 2:30. Head is starting to hurt a bit and so Karen drops me home – thanks Karen.  Take it easy for a bit resting up on the couch.  Guess I’ve used to much from the bucket already.  Have dinner then watch some TV while doing the blog.  Struggling to stay awake and have cramp and pain going on in different places.  Might actually head for a soak in the bath to see if that helps the pain and relaxes me enough to sleep.  Fingers crossed I do sleep tonight as I have decreased my steroids again and I suspect that they are the brain winder – well they were the cause early on.  Still in a happy place too, so regardless, I’m still smiling through the gritted teeth in my squirrel face (yep puffed up again with steroids – this time it is definitely them).  M&D time and bed.  Hope all have had an enjoyable and knowledgable day/arvo/evening.  Remember to keep cool til after school.

Kia Kaha.