3 Too Many

Day 8 of 23 treatment free.

“Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics” – Anonymous

 Another early start with the usual suspects – head to pain killers at 4:45 and wait for them to kick in.  Have a bad time with tremors too – can bearly hold a glass of water straight without spilling it I guess that a seizure is probably not far away based on this.  Generally you get more noted tremors and loss of control before you get hit with a big ones. I am just hoping that if I do have a seizure that it is not one of the major ones that through you into a catatonic state as has been reported with the type of tumours I have.  Fingers crossed!  Go back to bed to try to sleep off some of these effects and end up in tears for the next 30 mins or so.  I know why though – I am feeling with this latest development, that the physical me is now moving away from the mental me – ie. I am loosing control of some of the actions and behaviour as it is not done by a mentally conscience act.  These mofo’s have found a pressure point to be able to control some of my actions.  Scary!  And I don’t like it one bit.  The emotional side well that’s just completely screwed now and will have to just play second fiddle to all other things. I just can’t deal with too much at once anymore.  It is really to hard in reality to explain how it feels to be constantly monitoring every change, action, or behaviour you do in case there is a sign that a major change in my health is pending.  The only thing I’ll say is it is tiring!

On with the day – Jacob has just come storming downstairs – and won’t even speak to me.  Nice!  Please wait while I go and persuade a good morning from his grumpy ass!  A good tickle goes a long way to curing the blues and he is soon laughing and talking to me. Head to Hoon Hay Road as the movers are coming at 8am. They arrive at 8:30 and promptly start into action. Easy work to start with just directing the heavy traffic but they soon drop boxes that need to be unpacked.  I sort out the home entertainment setup – easy stuff to do. Nutty (Christine) turns up and helps out – absolute God send Nutty – thank you so much for the help. The movers leave about 12.  Have lunch not long after. Demonstrate real male eyes – look for the salt and pepper – first up can’t remember honestly what they look like!  Get a description about a minute later it clicks – then can’t see them in the pantry.  Sue walks over and picks them up – ahh – I’m positive they weren’t there 10 seconds earlier!  Bloody hell – I’m hopeless.

The mess stays behind – bugger.  Keep working through it until I have to head to the Neurosurgeon Appointment.  Then home again to keep working on unpacking.  How the hell did all this stuff fit in the bloody house in the first place??  The garage is also 1/2 full of boxes and they are not stuff that belongs in there. Need to rest as seriously about to fall down – feel absolutely crappy.  Take 5 mins to recharge then give in to Jacobs requests for a foosball game – I get trashed 10-5!  Head back to my chair then to sulk – sorry – rest and complete my blog as I don’t seriously think I will be capable of doing it later – head is starting to build a lovely pain level

Have dinner – thanks Wendy for the lovely chicken bake – perfect timing and very yum.  I then relax in front of TV.  Watch TV then head for bed after M&D time.  Take care all.  Sorry brief today but just worn out. and head hurting – my new normal.

Kia Kaha.