3 Too Many

Day 7 of 23 treatment free.

“Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it” – Anonymous

You may have noticed that I have started putting quotes at the beginning of the blog.  There is also a couple of poems I may share sometime.  These are just little ditties that help me get thru the crap of the day sometimes.  And today’s one, while off taste really, is a bit of black humour to me, and the sort of humour helps me deal with the reality of what is happening. 

That reality started at 3:30 today with the unwanted ones having a little party again and waking me.  I now seem to have this constant reminder that these guys are serious about their intentions by causing the pain.  I do what I can to mask this by taking pain killers but don’t enjoy or like that idea.  Back to bed and manage to get some more broken sleep.  Up again then at 5:45 as to uncomfortable to lay down anymore.  Yep – this is how it is now – head pain, restless and hyper brain again. Broke down in tears when I got up both times – for an unknown reason – it wasn’t the pain.  Was it cause I was thinking of all I was going to be missing again?  Or those that I will never see again?  Or was it cause I have been planning my funeral and trying to get it all in the right order that I will be happy with – hey I’ve got to have one last say   It is a reality folks – as morbid as it sounds or seems, I have to face doing it as it could get to the point where I can’t do this.  There will be a part to play for some people and I know there will those that will not want to do it – that’s fine.  I also know that there are those that will not come to it – they have their reasons too, but I would hope they could rise above it.  Cause like my theory on tattoos – Those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.  Don’t panic I not about to drop off in the next 5 mins or something!!  Quiet a bit left in the tank still.  So I’m not about to drop a bombshell on you.

On with the day.  Into the office today for work – first time since last Thursday, though been working from home. Head off and drop boys off then me.  Nice to be back in the office.again with my wonderful colleagues.  Quiet day just getting on with getting on, and monitoring what my head pain is like.  Head off about 1:30 as wearing out.  Head home via schools to pick up the boys. Get home and get on with work again trying to set up a new FTP point for files to an external vendor.  Good challenge for the brain – like I need it

I got a call from an employment agency about a Management role they have that they would like to put me forward for.  Unfortunately I have to tell them what has happened to my health and it leaves the poor guy almost speechless – I hate it when I do that.  I guess that means that I’ll not hear from them again.

BTW – my new Chemo wigs arrived today – one for wearing to footy to support the Pinkies.  One for my alter ego that will come through, according to my work colleagues, after I finish the Chemo treatment (seen as it changes your DNA) I will become Odessa the Southern American woman with attitude   Check out the pics below. 

My new pink Chemo wig.

For my alter ego

Lachie & I testing out the new locks.

Nat and the boys arrive for dinner and to have a catch up.  I get the blog completed nearly so I can relax too.  Starting to feel very tired – hopefully enough to allow the brain to shut down tonight so I can have a proper sleep – chance would be a fine thing!  Do some packing ready to move back home tomorrow. Watch some TV then M&D time and bed.  Sleeptime – I hope.  Have a great day/arvo/evening all.

Kia Kaha.