3 Too Many

Early night and early to sleep. Woke at 6am and did meds. Still incredibly sore though so back to bed and sleep hoping that I’ll wake feeling better. Get up at 9 and pain has eased enough that I can move more freely. So have a hot shower and some breakfast. Have my new stronger drugs. Feel a little vacant in the head from them but they seem to be doing their thing, thank goodness.

Put walking shoes on and head off on a walk up the hills to stretch out the muscles. Manage a return trip of 5.5 kms with a vertical rise of over 300 metres so a great workout. Get home and I’m knackered and so is the dog. Sue and the boys are Ok though. Sit down to rest for a bit and take my lunch meds. Have a small lunch – a liquid meal. The Booth family then arrive and they get settled in. Have a drink and chat in the sun. Head down to the beach with the kids and dogs. Have a good time there. Pain is starting to come back so head back to the house. In case you’re wondering we’re in Little Akaloa about an hour from Christchurch on Banks Peninsula. Brilliant spot – safe beach, sheltered valley, no cell coverage (unless you walk 30 mins up the hill), and no shops. Yes we’ve sneaked off again but this time is only for 2 days/nights.

When we were sitting at the beach today, Jordan asked if he could ask me a tricky question. I said yes, expecting it to be something about cellphones, computers, or the likes but instead it was this, “What is the thing that scares you most about cancer?” What a fantastic question. I had to think about it for a bit then I said the treatment as it is an unknown and you are poisoning yourself to buy time, how ironic really. Then comes the not knowing how it will be at the end. Then knowing how much hurt others are having from my illness. You might think how does that scare you, well I like helping people and seeing and knowing how much some of them scares me as I can’t fix or help ease their pain. Hours and I had about a 25 minute chat about this and other things but I found it fun and helpful as it got me thinking about myself. The other question I’ve been asked recently is, what color is a tumor? Got to research that one as I’m not sure. Anyone out there able to help out? Also if you’ve got any questions throw them at me as I love trying to answer them.

Been here in solitude gives you plenty of time to think about life, the universe, and everything in it. I spend time relating back over the year, and how things have happened in such a random way but also a lot has fallen into place when you need it too.I some times expect to wake from this strange dream and will tell people about it. But as we know, this is no dream. But even if it was I would still feel a richer person in knowledge for all that I’ve learnt. This is something I said too Greg today that it is said when you get cancer you can almost be considered lucky. I know that sounds strange and wrong but you start to look at the world differently, and slow down, and smell the roses so to speak. In this hectic world we share, we very rarely just admire our surroundings. Take in the beauty of the world, and the people. Be good to yourself and others too. And smile, cause they don’t hurt or cost but can be the greatest gift you give to someone that day.

Have another pain killer and then a short lay down. Well it was intended to be short. Woke nearly two hours later. Up again and go out to enjoy some more sun. Just chat, read and muck around. Greg cooks a very nice Carbonara for dinner. Then dishes a bit more chatting and then M&D time. Pain is still there bugger it. Really hope I can shake it by tomorrow. Trust you’ve had a lovely enjoyable day. Be good, catch ya tomorrow.

Kia Kaha.