3 Too Many

“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn’t.” – Richard Bach

Sleep – who needs sleep?  I don’t think I managed a full hours sleep at all last night.  Every hour, awake!  Damn near on the hour too.  And I was in a foul mood most of the time I woke so probably best that no one could bear the brunt of it.  It was just really rather odd.  I don’t think that it is the new drugs (more on them soon).  The good thing is that by the time I did wake ready for the day, the badness has passed and a ‘mellower’ me has woken up (peace man) – well not that mellow!  The new drugs – yes these are wonderful long-lasting pain killers.  Where were they from the start!  Take 2 a day and they seem to have most things under control – well I say that so far after 3 of them, but based on the fact that I woke for the first time in quite a while with no significant pain, and the head is not hurting really either.  I am to take these new pain killers along with my Panadol but to drop off the high strength short-term ones that I am to take if the pain breaks through.  Get up and make a cuppa tea – really just habitual now I guess, as I can’t drink hot drinks because of the taste.  Take my morning entrée of meds, but minus my Panadol.  Going to do a little testing of the new drug.  I can always take it if need be.  And take my dreaded steroids  

Get ready for work and head off via Jacob and Lachlan school’s then me to do my wander to the office through demolition central.  Nice spring morning – fresh cool air, sun is shining.  It is enlivening and gives you a good start to the day – well that’s how I like it.  Get into the office and the smiley faces of my colleagues.  Another busy day ahead.  Go downstairs and get a cheese scone from the cafe – I have an appetite! I actually want to eat food, and have no sign of nausea.  Bernard and I go for a walk into the Re:Start mall at lunch time and I get a pottle of hot chips – just felt like it, I know not the best food for me, but hell it’s too late to say it’s going to kill me eat rubbish food   (sorry black humour – I’m allowed to say that).  Again no nausea and I wanted to eat.  Really wondering if the steroids, even at such a low dose, are winning the appetite war against the nausea.  Or is it the taking of only 1 Panadol today (normally would have taken 4) ?  Nothing else has changed otherwise.

Head off as have an appointment on the way home.  Then pickup the boys from school.  All get home and get on with work, etc.  Have dinner – yet another meal, no struggle or problems.  This is really odd.  I have had a small but consistent food intake today and feel great. Tired but great.  Will skip the Panadol again before bed and just have my new drug.  Need to get some answers about this, as it is like I have stumbled on the right drug regime for me – for now.  palliative pain management for my palliative Chemo treatment. Mind you watch this space tomorrow, as we all know, it can change in a matter of hours and I might be downhill again by then.

The only guarantee is there is no guarantees’.  The other odd thing, not sure if others ever have or had this happen before, but it is like the whole world slips sideways.  Sorry I’ll make that clearer, well try too.  You are sitting there and it suddenly feels as if you are tipping or moving quickly to the side, to the point that you grab on to something to steady yourself and when you garb something it is like you are still moving.  Probably like been on a rocking boat or something.  But it takes a few seconds of light-headedness before you come right again.  I have experienced this many times and prior to the diagnosis.  I have been trying to trace back how long actually as it is probably/possibly related to the Mofo’s and their weird little traits.  Anyway now that I’ve given you an insight into the strange happenings in my mind, I shall bore you again with ramble That’ll learn yah!   Let me know if you’ve had oddities like that happen as I hate the uniqueness that I already have with the 50 or so in the world odds.

Quiet evening otherwise. Upgrade a cellphone, do blog, wait for world slips watch crappy tv, and contemplate going to bed to read, as the sleep monster is creepy around.  W&D time, no Panadol, just my wonderful new drug   Have a good evening/day/arvo and let me know about any mind slips you may have – just curious

Oh also – Wilson is still there and even now has his own permitted parking space on my desk …

Wilsons permitted parking space on my desk – well used to be Farmers Carpark but they’re tearing that down at the moment.

Kia Kaha.