3 Too Many

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart” – A.A. Milne

“Don’t die wondering” – Unknown

Restless sleep due to the Chemo but it’s OK, at least I had some sleep. Wake properly at 6:15 and contemplate life, the universe and everything in it.  Quick check of pains and aches – nothing new there, the usual suspects, head and body are doing their thing.  Jacob comes in to say Good Morning  about 6:45 and we have a chat for a bit about things.  Get up then and get ready for the day.  Down my new increased morning allotment of drugs.

Off to work, sunny but cool, with no sign of the wintery blast that is predicted.  Not feeling brilliant, but ok.  Still waiting on the drugs to kick in properly.  Have a bit to do today with work, but make steady progress.   Manage to eat lunch today too – only a small amount, but at least it is something.  Head off then about 1:30.  The cold weather is starting to look as if it is about to hit us. Get home and login to work to keep going and get another job to do as well. 

Get dinner ready and set the fire up ready to go, as I think we’ll be needing it tonight.  Do some more work while waiting for a search for missing pages completes. Then time for dinner.  Manage to eat a second time too.  Really on a roll now.  Sit down and do the blog.  Hard to get motivated again tonight.  Need to get my head in the right space for putting words to screen.  I have a lot to say but just need to get it out in the way I would like and that more importantly a way that makes sense.

I’ll give it a go anyway.  Imagine waking tomorrow and been told that you have only 12 months to live. I know this is possibly a reality for some of you or someone you know, so I apologise now if this is a bit raw.  Take a minute now to think about it.  What was the first thought that came into your head?  My children? Why me? What can I do?  How did you feel? Sad? Angry? Frustrated?  How do you react? Want to cry? Hit something? Just have a hug?  These are some of the questions that you face when it does happen to you. There is no right or wrong answer as we all have different ways of dealing with things, and different priorities.  But it is a good way to take a check on your life and helps you understand what you value most.  If you had to tell people about your life, what would you say to them?  Where do you start? Do you have a bucket list? A will?  Insurances – Life, Funeral, Income protection?  Unfortunately for some people this will happen to them tomorrow and they will start the process of valuing and prioritising their life and getting their ducks in a row.  But just if you get a chance, stop and put on these shoes and try to walk the mile.  This will give you an idea of what it is like.  You could then throw into all this the treatment and what it does to you, so while trying to deal with the situation you now have to deal with the effects of all the drugs as well. It isn’t easy by any means.

Do my Chemo routine, then back to having a Milo again so M&D time and hit the bed to read a bit before sleep – haha – time.  I’ll be having lavender sleep spray tonight and pain killers to ensure that I go out to it.  Hope all have had a brilliant day/arvo/evening.  Laters.

Kia Kaha.