3 Too Many

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson

Well hello there folks. Sorry for the tardiness of the blogs this week, but to be blunt about it, I am really scrapping through this week health, pain, and mentally. As you know the back has been giving me absolute hell! This means lack of sleep and just a constant worn out feeling as it drains you terribly. Also having a lack of sleep or proper rest means that you then start having your mind play tricks on you. You can’t focus correctly on things. And worst of all you start to become, well I think so, emotionally fragile. Your head messes with your feelings lots. So while the waking hours are spent taking meds, and trying to find some where comfortable to rest against so that I can attempt to sleep. They are also spent thinking about life and trying to keep the pressure or wayward thoughts from coming through to much into reality, but it doesn’t mean that tears aren’t shed often. Life is some days just a real big screwed up ball of paper that will never unfortunately be as smooth as it was so I just have to live with the bumps and crumples that are there now.

A rough sleep night by me, but it actually worked out well as Jacob is not to well either so I was up looking after him several times during the night. But in terms of sleep for me, nope the usual lousy sleep pattern put paid to that. Wake at 6am as normal and meds and cuppa tea time. Wake the boys. Jacob is adamant that he is going to school, as it is athletics day for all concerned, and he wants to do a complete year at school without missing a single day. Try to explain that if he is really Ill then that him staying home and not infecting others is the best option. Get ready for the day. The boys are ready to as Dad is coming over to collect them for school. Dad flies in and out they’re on their way. Sue and I hit the road to work then. Pleasant stroll into the office, and like been at work early as you seem to get more done in the first couple of hours. Finding it incredibly difficult today to focus, so everything is at a slow pace. Having lots of tremors to and seizures, but warm Cath (she sits next to me) of these so she doesn’t get to concerned.

Sue collects me about 12:45 today as I’m really not going to last much longer with how I feel. Head home then, get a call from the Nurse Maude Doctor about the new drops they have me on to try to relax the back pain, and to be able to sleep. I raise the concerns about the side effects that I have and how much it it wiped me out on Thursday. The Doc and I discuss it and we decide to try it again but start on a lower dose. Login to work then and sort out a problem -and try to look at another issue but there is no way I can as fatigue is crushing me. Sue and Lachie head of to his indoor footy game. By the time they get home I am out cold in the lazy boy. Roh, Andy and the girls come over for a couple of drinks and F&C for tea. I vaguely notice that they are there as I am in the strong clutches of fatigue. Eventually I wake about 8 pm. Have my dinner and an L&P -no drinkies while on anti-biotics. Roh and Andy and the girls head off, we chase Lachie into bed. Jacob has already hit the sack about 2 hours earlier. Thanks for a great night guys. Sorry about my absence for a bit. It was good to see you all.

Make Milo -M&D time then head to bed. Start on the blog but start drifting off so go with the flow of sleep. If I wake later on then I can finish it and post it for all. Hope that Friday was a wonderful day for you with a lot of fun and no stress or pressure, and are ready to deal with/too the weekend what ever it has in-store for you.  Take care all. I hope to maybe catch up with you later or some time during the weekend.  Bed good, enjoy. But please take care.

Kia Kaha.