3 Too Many

“As I have grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.” – Unknown

Restless night but don’t recall actually waking properly, so will tick the sleep all night column for last night. Wake though with a pounding head.  Very sore indeed – about a 6-8 depending on when you ask me.  Downstairs for the best pain killers that I’m allowed – no headache is going to stop me going into see the guys.  Give it about 20 mins and I head into the garage gym as I feel the need after a week away from it, to start the day differently.  Just a bit of a light workout for this light weight (now 80.7kgs – the lightest I have been since probably 2007-8).  Manage 40 mins in there anyway.  Feel a lot better for it as I woke feeling very down and sad.  Get ready then to face the day. Say bye to the boys as they are getting their own ways to school today.  Decide that going to start to take a deep breath and not letting the boys get to me.  And do the best I can to just relax and not raise my voice either.  Funny thing is that on TV tonight Nigel Latter covered the exact thing about dealing with teens, etc.  And I have made it through the complete day without one raised voice, argument, or issue – pleased with that really.

Sue drops me near work and have a pleasant but chilly walk into work.  Have a lovely time telling my colleagues about the trip away.  Then manage to remember some PABX (phone system) details to help Jono – victory for me.  Then get involved in helping to sort a P1 (priority 1 – must be fixed now!) call.  Great to be involved and able to help out.  Makes me feel a lot better, as I feel like I have actually contributed something useful.  Get a call from Dad – just checking in.  Thanks Dad – it helped talking to you.  Don’t finish work until about 3:30 and walk halfway home.  Then get collected by Sue and the boys.  Head home and have a lay down for a bit as feling very drawn now.

Seems I may have stirred a bit of concern and emotions with last nights blog.  Which is great, but just so everyone knows – I am OK and not about to do something stupid.  Those that have contacted me about it, thanks for doing so.  Nice to know you are concerned and are prepared to check on me.  Heart warming really.  Yes I have been down and sad and feeling emotional, but also I am working hard as I have said on keeping up the game face.  It is just the way it is, and I really doubt you ever get to see anything different from me unless I have already shown it to you.  It is how and who I am.  For those who don’t know how to ask me how I am or you want to talk about anything going on with me – then jsut let me know.  Happy to talk lots, as most of you know    By the same token I must find out how you folk are going, because this cancer has now become all consuming I miss the small details.  I’ve started counting the cost in social terms of this cancer.  People that I have lost or become distant from me, but there are some that have come to the fore which I am surprised at. I makes me sad that I am going to pay such a big price, and I am loosing so much it feels like everywhere.  Anyway – regardless – I’m OK and will get over myself and fight on another day. 

Head out for a walk around the block with the dog then home to dinner.  Alex stops by to say Hi as he is in town.  Great to see you Alex.  Then sit down to watch some TV and blog it.  M&D time soon and bed.  For some reason I am feeling quite tired now ;-p Really hope all have shared in a busy but productive day too.  On the downhill now to the weekend, so don’t stress.  Take care.  A bit of a light laugh to end the blog – enjoy!

Kia Kaha.