3 Too Many

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.

 I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left.

– Mary Elizabeth Frye –

There is no quote tonight but instead a quote that I love dedicate to Michael Wallace, friend, team mate and bloody good guy (and fellow Jim Beam Black drinker), whom we said our last good byes to late this afternoon.  I look forward to sharing a Jim Beam Black again with you Mike (hopefully not to soon).  Be at peace Mike.

Another early start to to the day, not sure if its the steroids though I am almost off them now – and will be as of tomorrow.  Up for a cuppa and my meds then back to bed for some reading of the overnight news.  Jacob gets up at 6:15 and decides he should get ready for school, so what the hell.  I get up and join him for breakfast.  We have a great laugh about all sorts of things – what a great way to start the day   Go and wake the others up then as they’re been a couple of slackers and sleeping in.  Get ready for the day and are feeling in a fantastic frame of mind and full of energy.  Jacob heads off to school early and in a good frame of mind too.

We head off to work via Lachie’s school.  Cool stroll into the office dodging the gaga-land sightseers (swear someone is going to get hit by a car some day soon).  Yes the city is broken and fascinating to look at but for goodness sake pullover out of the pedestrians way and also out of the path of the trucks cars and vans that still use the roads of the CBD.  Good day at work, and head off about 1:15 as I have an appointment with the Chemo doctor. 

Appointment goes well and start the second to last round tonight.  10 days of Chemo to go (that is 5 days this month and 5 days at the beginning of December).  Stop by the chemist and get my shopping bag of meds!  Then head home as Craig is picking me up about 5 to head to Mike’s funeral.  Get to the funeral with 5 minutes to spare.  Nice service and good turnout, shows how well respected Mike was.  It was a little tough going at times for me, but manage to keep it together (thanks Dave).  Craig drops me home just before 7:30 (my deadline for eating when on Chemo) and manage to power eat dinner in 5 minutes – 15 minutes later I had a very sore tummy indeed!  Thanks for the speedy ride Craig. 

Quiet – ha-ha, sounds like a war-zone outside been Guy Fawkes – repair a laptop for a friend, watch TV and do the blog.  And try to keep the feisty Molly indoors – bloody cat is wired!! Start my Chemo routine at 9:30, next meds 10, then 10:30 then 11 then bed!  Should have taken enough by bed time to induce sleep!  Well I hope I have.  Sue is sitting here eating chocolate in front of me – the bag!  I can’t have any.

Meant to say that I had a bit of a revelation last night in my waking hours (yes I still wake randomly at night), but it was I don’t like going into hospital.  It is because one day I will be going in there then not going home, the next place after that will be to a palliative care hospice.  The least amount of time that I spend in there the better for me mentally and emotionally.  Though it is not as bad as I make out really – the Nurses are friendly and very chatty.  Was talking with one on Saturday and she had asked me about my cancer and I told her and she was in tears – not a good thing to make your nurse that is working in the Oncology ward cry.  I didn’t mean to do it – honest.  Got to be good to the Nurses as they can make your stay hell or good.  And the food is really good too – no more nasty Kai.

Well that’s about enough for now.  Being a busy day, and emotional, and I am about ready to crash now, but have to wait another 45 minutes.  Hope all have had a great day/arvo/evening.   Take care and catch you all tomorrow.

Kia Kaha.