3 Too Many

“Never allow someone to be your priority while you’re just their option.” – Unknown

Ouch – head is thumping, like really thumping, to the point that if I can’t get it to settle down with the pain killers a trip to the hospital will be needed.  It has woken me several times during the night but I obviously didn’t notice how bad it had got.  Needless to say it was a difficult task to get out of bed.  Get moving all be it slowly, and with my hand over my eyes as the light is hurting my head even more.  Quite difficult to shave with the light off, esp my head! Stupid radiation has stripped (no Roh, I don’t cut my hair like this) over half the hair off my head and the Chemo is doing its best to get rid of everything else – if it can get rid of the rest of my head hair I would be happy as it means I wouldn’t have to shave it every second day.  Manage to have something to eat for breakfast – a crumpet.  Head pain is still there but the drugs are starting to slowly kick in but it is going to be a long day.

I think that today is the first time I have actually asked myself, what the hell did I do wrong to get inflicted with this cursed sickness.  Why did I get such a mean form of cancer too.  I mean, why inoperable, rare and fast growing.  There must be a lesson that I am meant to learn from all this.  Things happen for a reason, don’t they?  So what’s the reason for having these bloody things?  I can’t think at the moment what the lesson is but I will get to the bottom of it.

Head into work and put on a brave face.  Head is still going for it pain wise.  The best thing though is the nausea is not really causing a lot of issues.  Guess there had to be a good side to today.  Spend most of the day sorting/figuring out Google apps, etc. Head off about 3:15pm to see Nevil and Rose before they head back to Renwick tomorrow.  Then head home. I would tell you what we did – but I can’t remember what we did – doh   I know we had dinner, but I honestly can’t remember anything else.

Bearly manage to eat any dinner as taste changing and nausea are back.  Then start on the blog, and watch tv.  Slow going writing tonight.  Just had a gem of a pain going through my head – more like my SUNCT ones that I used to get the Botox for, but starting on the left and going through to the right.  Painful to the extent it rated as a 9 and brought tears to my eyes.  These sorts of ‘aches’ can go back to where they come from thanks, as I don’t need or want them.  I would say that it is M&D time, but since Milo tastes so lousy now, it is changing to be, W&D – water & drugs time.  Anyway, off to bed soon to read, seen as it is working in making me sleep the whole night – well almost.  Take care all.

Kia Kaha.