3 Too Many

“Illness or disability takes away a part of your life, but in doing so, it gives you the opportunity to choose the life you will lead, as opposed to living the one you’ve simply accumulated over the years.” – Dr. Arthur Frank

Well for all the fatigue on Sunday do you think I can get to sleep? Hell no! Brain in super processing mode tonight. And I have pains and cramp in every god damn joint my body has. Even the strong pain killers and a sleeping pill not doing anything for me. I lay here in tears just wanting to stop thinking about anything and to rest. This is the price I must pay obviously for a good day Saturday. Sorry a well balanced energy day we will say. I actually suspect that it is as expected the dreaded Chemo hangover so will probably get far worse yet before getting better. Don’t get me wrong – yes I am moaning a bit, but it is, more to let you know the crap that goes on at times thanks to these mofos. Fantastic – huge wave of nausea now come over me. FFS – this nothing short of taking the piss!!  Crap night sleep in the end.  Feel like I’ve been made to sleep nailed in place.  Wake at 5:50 and contemplate getting up just to do something.  Can’t really move though so stay put, thinking about stuff until 6:30.  Drag myself up with the intention of heading into the gym to see if some exercise helps (actually based on something I read yesterday about how when fatigued, doing a physical activity can help take you through it and make you feel better).  Do 20 mins in gym and 15 on spin bike and feel a bit better.  Eat some brekky then to see if that helps too.  Unfortunately – nope to both and starting to fade again huge time.  Make the call then to stay home to be near drugs and sofa    Mood isn’t exactly one for sharing with others either.  Would prefer to stay put on my own really. 

Unfortunately the day doesn’t get any better really.  Even walking upstairs is a real effort, both physically and mentally.  Not good when you feel like flaking out half way up.  And running out of breath very easily.  Did I mention I hate feeling like this?  Quiet day just shuffling round the house and resting up.  The only energetic thing I do is climb into the roof space to try to fit in the flooring that was left after the EQC repairs so more crap can be stored in there.  Spend more time sitting on my chuff than doing anything really.  Deb saves me by coming over with some Amish bread.  Thanks Deb, I don’t think I could have lasted much longer up there.  And thanks for the bread – bloody awesome!

Have dinner then blog time. Did you know that of all the cramp in the body, I reckon that cramp in your ankle has to take the prize for the most painful. Actually scrub that – just had cramp in my thumb – OMG – that one rates up there with the best of them!  Timely reminder for me to order some more anti-cramping drink.  Done!  Watch some tv then heading to bed I feel after M&D time.  Electric blanket on, hhhmmm – the warmth eases the pains.  I must be getting old – oh dear that sounds so soft really. So there we have it a slow day doing nothing much. Head in a foggy place now so will

Hope all have had a great day/evening/arvo and made lots of wonderful memories.  Take care till we ramble again.

Kia Kaha.