3 Too Many

“Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can’t always see, the pain someone feels.” – Unknown

Semi early start to things today – but lay there staring at the ceiling – seems to have become my latest past time – and doze off again for a bit until the alarm shrieks at 7am.  Ahh – can’t be bothered today – another lack energy start. These sadly seem to be becoming more frequent.  Maybe a sign of things changing or what’s to become.  I hope not but then it will happen.  Unfortunately too it seems that the good energy level days are becoming less and so therefore more effort is needed to get myself going.  Rustle myself out of bed to make the morning cuppa and get on with the day.  Can’t stand the smell of toast today and just about are heaving when walking down the stairs.  I love the smell of toast – so to have this reaction is not enjoyable.  Head to work and feeling better – energy is up again – for now.

Quite day but make steady progress with things, until I have a big flat spot about 10:30.  Energy hasn’t just depleted – its gone.  Feel like I could bearly stand.  I don’t feel sleepy, so not tired, it’s fatigue – as I’m just zapped completely of everything.  Have a Berocca and see if that will lift me – just enough. Head downstairs to see Tom, Matt and Stephen from Waikato – have a quick chat and catch up.  Then head back to the safety of my desk. Hang in here until about 1:30.  Head home to rest up as head also now starting to give a lot more pain and don’t want it to get away on me.  Well that idea didn’t last – get home and Dad comes over – he’s just got home from the ship.  Have a good catch up then he heads off. I struggle around for a bit more, then give in and lay down in the sun.  Have a snooze for a bit, well an hour or so.  Struggle then to get up again.  Not in a good place feeling like this as it takes its toll on you mentally while trying to fight against the physical deterioration.  Sue and the boy’s head off to Nats for a catch up so I drag my ass up and go and get dinner ready – at least I feel I have done something for the day then.

Quiet evening, blogging and just trying to figure out a few things in my head.  Might have a soak in the bath actually to see if that eases the aches, pains and drained feeling.  High strength pain killers not really cutting the mustard but making me more tired again – bugger.  A soak will give me some chill out time to think – seem to spend a huge amount of time doing that these days – thinking.  I might have to stop it, as I don’t want to wear the brain out – ironically.  Flag the bath idea as Mrs Brown on soon so put electric blanket on instead and will watch that then head to a warm bed to read a chapter before sleep – well probably will finish the book actually as only 1 chapter to go I think.  Will download the next book now ready – thanks for the suggestions of reading too from folk out there

Quick note too – those folks that have comments that haven’t shown as approved or replied too, I am looking at these as once again the website is playing tricks on me where it says they’re approved but don’t and others are staying locked.  I will workout what’s happening and sort it out with the webmaster – but not tonight.  Thanks for the comments though – keep them coming.

Take it easy, have fun, enjoy life – and be safe!

Kia Kaha.