3 Too Many

Day 18 of 23 treatment free.

“Cancer is a word, not a sentence.” – John Diamond

Easy start for today’s blog – sleep in till 7:45 – guess enough drugs together do knock you out! Not in the best head space though – while I feel good and rested – in fact the best I’ve felt in weeks, I am in a confused and sad state mentally.  Sad about several things which I won’t divulge and confused about why I am feeling like this.  A bit of a messed up state really.  I either need to concede that I need to see a counsellor or take time out to get myself out of this rut. I would have preferred to talk to someone I know but then the reality is there is no one that out there that can relate to this – I know there are many of you that have had a similar experiences with your own cancer, or helped support people with their battle, regardless of what type or how close you are so I am not trying to belittle others experiences or the support I am getting, I’m more just saying that it is not just something I can sit down and talk about.  It is very personal.

“Don’t let worrying about tomorrow rob you of today.” – Unknown

I guess I should heed these words and maybe learn to live by them.  Really tomorrow will be here too soon and one day I won’t be.

Off to footy with Lachie today.  He has a good game and they drew 2-2 with Cashmere Tech.  Sarah & Majenta come down to watch Lachies game too.  That means they win their league and go through unbeaten.  Great effort boys.  Jacob is out at Kaiapoi against Waimak.  They loose 6-1 – not a good result or game from what he tells me.  Home for lunch then and off to the Pinkies game.  I even take my gear in the hope of getting a run.  Nothing to lose and might make me feel better – get to let some of this anger out that’s stored up.  Have a great afternoon!  Played about 30 minutes or so.  We won 5-1 – sweet.  This means we are top of our group in the playoffs.  Won a meat pack in the raffle (steak, kebabs & pork strips) and got player of the day too!!  Even indulged in a couple of beers and a couple of Bourbons.  And had a great catch up with the lads.  Thanks for a great time lads – made my day!

Sue comes and collects us and we stop to get Chinese for tea on the way home.  Scoff it down quickly as we are meant to be over at Roh & Andy’s to watch the game.  And I have made us late by drinking too much at the club rooms – sorry!!  Have a good evening – thanks guys.  Home then again to get the boys to bed.  Bloody neighbours are having a party – outdoors, facing our house – Ggggrrr!!  Going to be a late night as music down but voices up very loud.  Oh well – I must be getting old if I’m grumping about parties – sad really

Anyhow – not going to sit around waiting for the party to finish to update the blog.  Will do that tomorrow.  So stay safe, be good and have fun.

Kia Kaha.