3 Too Many

Day 3 of 23 treatment free.

Woke at 3:30 but manage to doze on and off until just after 6 when the headaches got me into the day.  Still not in a good place really – so this is going to be a short and sour blog.  This is starting to get to me.  I can’t put my finger on what is wrong but just tired of feeling low and crappy.  And no I don’t want to talk to a counsellor/shrink or anyone else before I get anymore suggestions from anyone.  If I want to talk, I’ll talk.  If I don’t just accept it.  I’ll sort myself out.

Sue and the boys get ready to head off.  I’m working from home as I am getting picked up by the owner of the company that has been fixing Hoon Hay Road, and going to meet with him and Fletcher’s  to do the sign off on the repairs for the house.  Fairly quiet morning then off to the house. Takes an hour to go over everything, and a few minor things are picked up with the paint work, so they get the painters back immediately to fix it.  All is good so sign off the work, and all are happy.  About an hour later the carpet cleaners arrive to do their thing – may as well have it done while there is no furniture in the house.  They take about an hour to do.  Then start on cleaning the rest of the house while the curtains, etc. are down.  Big spring clean basically.  Will go back in the weekend and complete it properly.

Head home to meet Nevil and the boys.  Sit down for a bit as head sore and fight the sleep monster as well.  Login back into work to catch up with what is happening.   Then start the blog for today.  As I said not in a very good place in my head and are just feeling so angry and sad about I don’t know what.  I guess it maybe just the great unknown.  I need to probably make/take more time to reconnect with myself as I feel I have lost touch with me and this is not helping in any way at all.  I don’t expect anyone to really understand this but I miss myself – the old me pre tumors, pre 9 March when I noticed something was not right.  I guess I need to reconnect with the new me, and the messed up way life is now.

Have dinner and watch TV.  Days like this I really could do a drink!  Head is hurting at an almost new level of pain now!  As well as cramp and now I’ve just added a new trick – vomiting!  Not fun so finish blog. Will  do M&D then head to bed soon.  Just want to sleep off these blues really – chance would be a fine thing.  Have a great day/arvo/evening all.  And have an enjoyable weekend too.

Kia Kaha.