3 Too Many

T Day = 12 (Adjuvant chemoradiation) – 20 Radiation & 30 Chemo to go this round.

Well not the best of sleeps one could say. The steroids reduction is meaning that the pain in the head (the steroids help with the swelling of the brain from the tumors, radiation & chemo to ease pain), is back – though not to bad so I can do this.  Lay semi awake listening to the sounds from about 3:30am of the broken city repairing – there is a lot of work going on out there repairing things under the cover of darkness. Even have a quirky sounding little shake go through and the house makes a sound similar to that of knuckles getting cracked! – Very odd but intriguing.  Not wanting to get up before at least 5am I have a think about what David (fellow fighter against Cancer) and I were talking about last night, add the power of the positive attitude that you take to the fight.  I have said from the start that I am going to fight this as long and hard as I can as I have the same result at the end off the day (actually we all have the same result at the end of the day) – just some will get there sooner. I have been told its terminal – but they can’t tell me when or how long cause they don’t exactly know and medical guys don’t always back themselves – well – that is in a way fantastic, cause it means that I will set my own bloody goal of how long I will be hanging around tis place  – as tough as it will be some times – thanks not what the medical people presume will be a good time line.  Hope this makes sense in a way.  To use the phrase that David has said to me (and I love) – This Cancer will NOT define me, I will define this Cancer.  In other words I didn’t ask for these 3 bastard things in my head that are now getting their fair deal of treatment – so therefor they can just learn to adjust with how I life from now on, and if it means they have rough days from wanting to stop them growing more than they’ll have to deal with it.  Yes – you could say I am now make it a personal battle against a physical part of me which is a little screwed up in a way – but it is how I see it as  away of coping an dealing to them.  It is like when I am laying there in Radiation and the high pitch buzz starts on the tumors – I’m visualising each of the tumors in turn getting their unwanted little asses heated up one at a time – that’ll learn’em.  Then the best one is when they do the multi point zap on the big bugger, and it gets a bigger buzz, and full noise – that’ll learn it to get to 3cm before showing something wrong.  But it doesn’t stop with the radiation – there are 3 Chemo pills I take everyday – 1 large one, and 2 small – again take them visualise as 3 bombs for the tumors ass – they can’t escape.

I got given some sad news to today – the work colleague that I mentioned earlier in the week that I had taken over the role in Southland from passed over yesterday 17 May – RIP Graham.  GIven me a bit to think about now in away as the coincidences between what’s happened with us is close.  Regards to Liz, and family.  Another person lost to this indiscriminate sickness. I also got a call from MIchelle Frisby at the Southland Times – was lovely to catch up and fill her in on all that’s happening and what they are doing to me, etc.  Also a sad day alround for the Southland TImes print staff as tonight they run off their last copy of the Times from the Esk Street site.  Form MONday it will be printed at The Otago Daily TImes in Dunedin.

Radiation goes smoothly today and the boys come in to see how the setup is done and how I get locked into the machine by the mask – then zapped.  They ask lots of questions and take it all in – helps them with the understanding of what happens when  I get done which is good for them.  Then meet quickly with Sharon from the Cancer Society, through them the boys have been asked to go on What Now this Sunday – fantastic, both are buzzing.  And the best bit is they get to go through the challenge after the show so have been told to wear older clothes!  Sounds like it’s going to be huge fun!!!

Off to school now with them.  I doze off while driving as the radiation has really taken it out of me today – drain plug is out!!!  FInally get home and I potter around before crashing for about 45 mins rest.  DIscovered a new side effect to – my blood is turning as thin as water as I get  little cut and it bleeds like a mad thing for about 5 mins – ahh – no!!!!  I used to have thick blood and stop bleeding instantly!

Go out to get a DVD to watch tonight and find some sideline warm boots for Sue to watch the boys play footy in that’ll stop chilblains, and keep your feet dry.  Walk into Columbia in Dresmart – 5 min later leave with the perfect pair – never had shopping luck like that!. Then home to take it easy.  Need to head for another nap soon I think as fading again   FInd Karl has visited and left some veges from his garden and a Quiche – yummy!  Sorry we missed you Karl – will catch up soon.

DVD’s are good – watch Hugo (well I saw the start and end and slept for about 1 1/2 of it!) with Lachlan & Sue as Jacob is out partying at a school disco.  Then Sue and I watch Friends with Benefits – very funny.  The energy has wained again – head hurting bugger it so heading to bed and sleep. M&D time now folks. 

BTW – Did you see the story about our new building too and the island they have created for us in the Red Zone to get to it – http://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/6946852/The-Press-is-returning-to-CBD

Have an awesome weekend and brilliant day/evening/morning.

Kia Kaha.