3 Too Many

T Day = 9 (Adjuvant chemoradiation) – 23 Radiation & 33 Chemo to go this round.

Well – early to bed early to rise I guess in a way that is very true.  Broken sleep – with pain since about 1:30 – pain killers not really doing their thing bugger it.  Then the brain starts amping up processing things – ahh no not now thanks – sleep time.  New tack on dealing with this – making notes – this helps a bit.  Manage to get through pain and waking until about 5am before relent to needing more drugs and a cuppa tea.

One of the things I had been pondering over night though was that yesterday – Monday  – I discovered that my predecessor from the role I held in Southland has secondary brain cancer and months to live.  I didn’t say anything yesterday as I was actually still processing it.  What’s the chances – same jobs, same location, same fate! I know – don’t read too much into it, but this is now the second person I know that has developed secondary brain or CNS tumors.  It makes you ask if it we are more open about when we get sick or is Cancer now more freely spoken of, when it once was seen as almost a tabu subject that a person was cursed with?  There is so many types of tumors/cancers now that I doubt anyone reading this will be able to say they do not know someone touched by it at sometime in their lives.  Anyhow – not hung up on it – just sharing the irony of the situation.

Got a call that the radiation treatment machine is broken so my 12:20 zapping is now moved to 5pm tonight – finally got done not long before 6pm.  That’s fine as it still gets done.  Actually suits at the moment as tum /nausea are not at very good levels!  Oh well – can’t pick them!  Still have the 1:30 appt with the Radiation Registrar  – which goes great – but do get a telling off for not resting as much as I need to.  OK – I promised from now on that I stop and rest.  It was spelt out clearly that I need to stop and rest to be able to allow myself to repair and dispose of the rubbish from the tumors nuking else it will tak its toll on me.  I ask him about the blob that has now appeared over my left eye – he says it is normal part of treatment and considered a side effect bother!  So work from home as it is the best option today.  And probably will be a form of normal from now on as I can then rest when I need too. 

Day going is well – though feeling very tired like someone hs opened the drain pug on my energy – still trying to get used to that sensation.  It is honestly like the batteries are just taken out – and down you go!  Dad stops over to say bye as he is about to join the ship again.  He also tells me that my Uncle in Aussie (wasn’t close to him) died on Sunday from bowel Cancer – that now makes 4 people who have died (not all of cancer) since I have found out about my diagnosis.  As I’ve said before to people – some days you get drizzle – some days you get the whole monsoon bucket!! Firm believer still that you will never get dealt more in life than you can handle – and each time you will learn and come out so much stronger from the experience.  Just remember to use the support of others when it is offered and never be ashamed or scared to reach for it.  We are all in this world together.  Anyhow – assure Dad that I’m all good and will be here when he gets back – and the best thing is I’ll just be finishing up my last week of Radiation when he does return – so he has given me a focal point!  Though he will be facing visual changes not gradual ones when he returns – but he will cope – I’m sure.

Wondering where the bad weather they are talking about is as it is a lovely sunny day out and was almost tempting to ditch things and go for a stroll before the drain is pulled again.  But unfortunately I can’t go as Sue is working from home too, and we have to head off to the hospital very soon.

Arvo breezes by – get in a 60 minute nap before dropping boys to footy then me to radiation , then back to footy, then home for dinner.  Evening breezes past too – am going to have an early night again to try to catch up on the sleep lost from the night before.  I so hope that I can get a good sleep as working in the red zone tomorrow morning and need to be able to function.

I hope that you’ve ll had a good day /evening and this finds you well.  M&D time is calling – yipee!!

Kia Kaha.