3 Too Many

T Day = 7 (Chemo only)

Happy Mothers Day!

Well – actually not yet – sorry folks absolutely beyond energy or brain levels to be able to do anything so heading to bed to try to rest. FIngers crossed I will wake feeling revived and ready for the week ahead.

Was I really that tired? – well hell yeah – I felt like I was in a fog that much I was floating almost – couldn’t decide if I should be rocking in a corner or trying to make cuppa tea.  So off ot bed very early before I fell over and ended up in hospital.

I was up at 5am ish again – felt good but pain was kicking in all over – seems to now be the new normal   Got up took drugs, get days drugs out ready, make a MIlo while the painkillers kick in.  Boys want to make Pancakes for Sue for Mothers Day so decide to make the batter up for them.  It’s like a prepared TV cooking class by the time I’ve finished measuring, etc – all the dishes, lined up in order measured and just ready to be added – why you may ask? Me and my little OCD things?  Nope – just some of these drugs and the way the tiredness kicks in I am doing things like this to make sure that I get it right else I’ll forget.  When I say about a foggy sensation – it is literally that – I can’t think clearly, senses seem to slow down, reactions probably go over the top.  It is just not good   Anyhow the batter works perfectly – and kitchen returned to its normal state.  Happily pottering around in the kitchen for about the next 2 hours – don’t ask doing what, cause I can’t remember! But standing is good for the pain.

About 7:30 Mother Nature slams a very loud but not sharp quake into the house to wake the boys & the dog.  They appear downstairs then wanting to game it up for a bit on the PS3. Ask for noise levels to be considered so that Sue can sleep in – they are great and duely oblige. 

Sue gets up about 10am  – great sleep in – boys do the pressy thing – 2 pairs of slippers and a magazine subscription – nice.  I Russel up the pancakes and bacon, with lashings of maple syrup!  All bellys full and admiring how it is 20 degrees outside – just like a spring morning!  What a brilliant day. I clean up brekky as it keeps me busy and stops me thinking about things, fogginess, pain, etc.  We have got out some awesome huge home kill chops for dinner that Helen & Paul dropped off so make up a Balsamic, Garlic, Rosemary marinate to get them ready for dinner.  Get everything in pots ready to go as heading ot see Mum after lunch.

Cruise around the house till time to go and see Mum.  Had a really emotionally sad moment trying to write in a Mothers Day card to Mum.  It sort of takes on a whole new perspective when you start wondering if it is the last one or how many more of these I will be writing out – but not because of my mother growing old or frail – because of the odds I’ve been dealt!  Anyhow – lt it out –  as that is what I have found is the biggest thing that helps.

Get to Mum’s whose suitably happy to see us all.  We’ve got Mum a WiFi router so set about configuring it and getting her to stop dragging the bloody old wired router around the house when she wants the internet – I know (son in IT and she’s been mobile like this for about a year).  All sorted tested and done.  Even hooked her cellphone to it to lower costs of email through mobile data network.  WHile I set it up SUe and her discuss the family tree and get more info for a genealogist that’s looking at it for us.

Home then to dinner –  all underway – even mange to get Wilson to agree to help put a couple of security latches on downstairs windows.  But then the energy drain is pulled and I start to crash – make it through dinner, then sit down to watch the Food Truck on TV and within about 10 seconds out cold!  Wake 30 mins later – defiant mood in pain and foggy – it’s Mothers Day so I’ll do dishes and tidy up, etc.  All sorted but then the energy is zapped completely – so this takes us back to where the blog started today with me saying I’m to tired.

Yes I’ve got to start resting when I feel the drain go on. Yes I have to listen to those around me saying that you are not looking in a great way, Yes I need to be able to take it when been told to do something – this is the biggest one – I must not always do it my way and be stubborn.  As this hurts the ones that are looking out for me and causes the stress we don’t need.  I’m trying to learn more – as I am through this whole battle.

Have a fantastic day all.  Till later today. 

Kia Kaha.