3 Too Many

Sorry for the lateness of Saturday’s posting – been a very busy tiring day

Another early starter – awake at 5am in pain (but yahoo – slept for about 5.5 hours straight) – chest and head – so drug up & crawl back to bed & manage to doze till about 6:30 when brian turns on.  I wish I could just wake up slowly as you normally do.  See when I wake now, it is eyes open instant on – body has to just get ready to move.  Brain can already be processing lots of things and planning or have planned the day for you.  Find myself feeling agitated already, but odd as feel physically great, and mentally really good.  Have  a think about what the 3 amigbro’s have mulled on overnight –  only thing that comes to light – treatment schedule – again.  I know – it will be fine, the hospital have given me the list of drugs when to have them, etc an Sue’ typing out the checklist for me to see and be able to physically tick off on the fridge.  Have to think more about this as to why it is consuming me.  It is probably getting to me as I know it has to be done precisely as this is the frontline of the attack to extend the rest of my life – I need in my mind to have this dead right.  It is huge deal to me! 

Toddle off downstairs as footy day so will get breakfasts ready tidy kitchen and just keep busy & think.  Enjoy just toddling like this.  All is going great  – let all sleep in as Lachie is first game up today so needs to leave at 9am and doesn’t need to eat til about 8:30 at latest got to let their tums process a good brekky at least an hour before playing else could get stitch, etc (I know sport nutritionist Dad coming through and been anal about these things – but got to fuel a physical body activity properly to enjoy it).  All going great until I go to get my brekky.  I notice that Wilson is starting to try to make a subtle return – arm tingling and fingers have sensation changes on the ends – it’ ok can deal to this. But my taste buds are all screwed up and there is really only one bread (McKenzie Southern Grain) I eat and can taste properly, and we have run out of it.  Now this is not a major issue – simply go get more.  Great idea, I’ll jump in the car,- wait I can’t, I’ll walk to Supermarket – 40 min round trip – nope it’s 7:45 now and I’ll still have to come back, cook brekky, eat it, not enough time.  Now it sounds petty or easily solved – just wake Sue and ask if she can go get it, or just eat crumpets or white bread but this is what I have finding more recently in the short term some mental processing changes with these 3 unwanted things.  Logic is thrown out the window, OCD (yes I have these tendencies to need my ducks in a row or the shotguns out at them) and I go in a nasty tail spin.  In this case it happens bigtime – agitation starts to give way to anger at the idea that I’m not going to have breakfast at all, my bloody one food I look forward to (which is odd really cause I never liked full grain breads or eaten a lot of bread over the past few months) is ruining my whole bloody day.  And I am letting it, and feel powerless to stop it.  AHHH!!!! I know it sounds like the mad rambling of a OCD freak – but I am just trying to get across how these things re obviously doing things to me that you may not notice, but if you do see or talk to me and I am flustered a bit chances are it is cause of a ‘wee’ moment I’ve had or are having.  What probably compounded it more i this case was that the fact I couldn’t just jump in the car and drive – an obvious sign that I am ill and don’t have the freedom I used to hit me and it hurt. I could have walked or jogged too, but again – this was worse – I am already hurting and planning to watch 3 footy games today and need my physical strength to make it thru the day – again – these bloody things have got their way.  It just frustrates the piss out of you to be blunt!!!  Enough venting anyway.  Thankfully it is toned down!  Sue saves the day and goes to supermarket to get my bread – yay!

Off to Lachlans footy – have gotten over myself and the thunderous mood of earlier – feeling physically good, but head is a little errire faire  (well more than normal).  The 11A’s have  a real game of 2 halves against a sharp-looking Selwyn team unfortunately – gives a bit to work on at practice on Tuesday.  They loose 6-2 (conceded 5 in the first half but manage to hold them at bay 1-1 in second half).

Off to see the end of Jacob’s game at Halswell then.  He’s having a blinder – in on everything and a huge amount of running – fantastic to see. Fish his coach even says he’s have a great game when i get there before I ask.  Well impressed.  Unfortunately they go down 3-0 to Waimak.  Jacob picks up a double injury and is gutted – got an ankle tap, and booted in the hamstring at the same time so limps off.  Is determined to stay on but he can bearly move, so he’s subbed – and gutted – feel sorry for him, as it’s the hamstring that’s sore. Explain he has to stay off for muscular injury – an ankle tap you can run off and will settle quickly – muscle is different. He still gets Player of the Day for his efforts – so fantastic effort my Son.

Home for lunch then Craig picks me up to go to the Halswell PInkies game against the Ferrymead Navy lads.  Good game for us, slow pace but our attack is down from the previous week – no one hitting anything at goal with any anger.Mind the Ferymead team are looking as lively with a couple of chances, then with about 20 to go the Ferrymead boys seem to realise that it is 0-0 still and put their foot down.  Ferrymead win a penalty – 1-0 Ferrymead.  Bugger it! Pinkies dig it in till the end to find an equalizer, but not our day. Great effort lads.  Off to Speights Ale House (Ferrymead sponsor) for a team drink and the collection of fines  

Having dinner and a catch up tonight with the Booth family, while Jacob is at the last night of the school Production.  Have a lovely evening just chilling and chewing the fat.  I’m shattered – and it shows when I start dozing off after the delicous dinner Greg cooked, in the chair – so sorry guys – I was just beyond it after a day of being on my feet all day.  Feel bad   IT was a lovely way to round out th day though.

M&D time was quick!  I have no recollection of head hitting the pillow – nice!

Kia Kaha.