3 Too Many

Well it seems that the greedy little space sucking extras don’t like to think all night when they have no sleeping tablets or pain killers to feed on – just boring old anti-siezure drugs that make you go doozy   It is either this or the fact that I was just so completely utterly emotionally & physically drained from the day that I had no chance of anything but sleep!

Still didn’t meant that I wasn’t going to wake early 5:40ish and consider the gym – there done considered  – consider it is officially rest day (you need to have them every couple and do another activity – I usually get on the spin bike for 20 mins – no weights).  Lay and contemplate why I have to make adjustments in my life and others have to in theirs for these things. I did not ask to be called a cancer patient or sufferer – I’m not suffering really – I am fighting – so I am therefore a cancer battler. This led me to think about the fact that I am now just 11 sleeps from starting the real assisted fight for my life – with the 2 biggest tumor whipping bad boys that they can give me – Radiation & chemotherapy. The trouble is these guys don’t play nicely with people or each other. Therefore I must make sure that the battleground I can give them is able to take it and the mind it ready to respond to their fallout as well as the tumors resistant willingness to haul ass backwards!  It is amazing how much time all this thinking takes up as get up at 6:30 still slightly on maybe gym it now thought. Glad I didn’t as while time is moving the body seems to be in slow mode and next thing it is 7:45am – rush, rush – rush. 8:15 – must get to work!!!

Dad is driving me to work today – it is good actually as we have a great open conversation about the treatment coming up and how I am feeling about it, juts so he knows how I am going – Fatherly thing.  Then he tells me that if the Chemo, etc is all getting to hard and if I  need fulltime care he will retire and stay home for me – felt really soppy about that as it is not something so far that I had even considered.  So it helps to know how far ahead some people are in their working through this.  He also gives me the Edmonds determined fighting speech – so good to know somethings don’t change.  Attitude is everything!  And damn bloody right it is!

Off to the CBD again today – more work to do ready to get The Press relocated once the fences move back more.  Go and find lunch at the famous bacon caravan that the tradeworkers have in the square (there is nothing else in the city food wise) and get a ringside seat to watch the spire demo while they cook lunch. Not everyone’s idea of lunchtime relaxation but – was odd to see.

Lunchtime viewing while waiting for Bacon roll to be cooked!

Off to hospital to pick up the Chemo drug script and plan – hells bells – really!!!!  That many for how bloody long!!!  Oh and sneaky they put the blood note not at the back with the must be done every Friday highlighted – vamping pain seeking lot – hate bloods getting taken.  But I will say that I am ecstatic about the fact that I am not getting my Chemo via IV line – there is a god!!!

decide that as it i sunny and I didn’t have to wait long I’ll walk to the Chemist to get the urgent drugs I need and blow poor Peter (the Pharmacists head with the Chemo list – yes I know the name of the Chemist – it is always important to know the names of those that help you). Reaction was bout what I expected – ahh – i can’t get you these for a few days – really – you sh!tting me – why not don’t you expect people “like me” to walk in everyday looking for 450+ high-priced Chemo drugs? – No I wasn’t a smartass – I was just thinking how cool it would be to lay that on a smartass Chemist! – No a bad one eh?  He duly tells me the standard 10mins so I go to see my other friends in the neighborhood – no not Couplands Bakery!  The Physio – it’s about helping people today folks not food (though I did pass 7 Dairies, 2 petrol stations, 1 food court & 1 Supermarket in my 4 km walk home – all with ut stopping once – & even sadder that my steroids stomach memory remembered that all) – Karen and her team spent several months repairing my crook left  elbow – thanks to Masters footy.  Explain to her how Wilson’s mates may have been working against us  when we were sure that we were making progress something would go wrong – thank her for at least getting Wilson mark 1 under control and some of the learnings from that have managed to get Wilson mark 2 to just been the W on the left now.

Back to chemist and get queried about the amount of Steroids I’m taking – jealous or what small guy – don’t diss my droids intake, haven’t you seen how much food my stomach has passed – i is likely to attack and consume you!  Actually seriously this is a good thing as they are doing their job in monitoring /backing up what the Doctors are prescribing.  I explain the situation – 3 mofo tumors that are about to get their asses fried and nuked and if I need droids to ease a little brain swelling then i will eat them!  He’s happy.

Finally get home – I need a rest!  Can’t EQC turn up about smelly drains to see if a valid reason and eventually leave saying they’ll push Fletcher’s as they can’t see what’s wrong.

Lachlan heads to footy practice so I’m under care of Jacob. I just starting to relax an d trying to gain some well gone energy then Jacob asks if we can go to the domain to kick a ball for a bit of unwind time as he has been busy doing homework.  I really must rest but in a moment realise that in a couple of weeks the request will probably no be able to be fulfilled. I can do it.  We ped about 45mins there kicking and having a great time until I meet the wall – someone – told me that I will know this when you hit it!  I couldn’t move another muscle and stood balanced like a Womble on the footy pitch with Jacob yelling Dad – you OK.  Manage to assure him I am.  Suck it up and decide to keep going a bit then tell Jacob have to go. On way home we talk about what happened and what could happen once treatment starts.

Cook dinner then decide that talking about my slowing down a dtretament side effects with the boys and ho it all impacts them could be a good thing.  After dinner I get my oncology folders (i never knew that each treatment gave you your own folder about all you need to know bout the ways they ar either going to Nuke you (Blue folder) or poison you (Ree Folder).  We cover off everything that ould happen, even how boys have to be careful of bringing friends over with sniffles. We tell them where the folders live and they can read them anytime as there are lots in there.  Got to keep it open and honest – no place for secrets in what I’m / we’re all going through.

I am now do shattered beyond redemption that M&D time has come and gone so I had better sleep! Sorry it’s a late one folks. Just can’t seem to keep up with the day today. 

Kia Kaha